RSS 2.0Is there a gum-chewing etiquette?
Filed under: General
I have this problem and I need your help. A coworker of mine, who shall remain nameless, likes to chew her gum like a cow chews it’s cud. It’s loud, obnoxious, disgusting, and goes on for several hours – each and every day. There’s no doubt in my mind that our entire office can hear her incessant gum smacking, especially when the crescendo of bubble bursting begins. I’m losing my mind. I can’t get any work done unless my headphones are jammed deep into my ear canals, blasting music loud enough to drown-out the sounds of her mouth. I’m going deaf in order to earn a paycheque. (@#$%!, the blood curdling symphony of gum smaking fills my ears as I type this!) I desperately want need to say something (privately, of course), but I’m worried that:
- my relationship with this person will suffer as a result, and working with her will become strained and awkward,
- she will quickly return to smacking and popping her gum, because that’s the way she’s always chewed her gum, and bad habits rarely die young,
- I’m being overly sensitive (I’m easily agitated by anyone that makes mouth noises, be it eating food, or in this case: chewing gum), because nobody else in my office seems to have any problem with her noisy gum chewing habit.
So, I put this out to all of you:
- Would you be annoyed in a similar situation?
- Should I confront my co-worker?
- Would you agree that, annoying or not, the gum-smacking is highly inappropriate behavior in a professional environment?
- Am I some sort of overly sensitive control freak that needs to be more tolerant of others’ annoying habits?
I will await the good counsel of my readers before embarking on a plan to end my misery.
UPDATE (12/18/2004): What started as a spontaneous venting of rage, caused by my office-worker’s former disgusting habit of popping and smacking her gum (yes, she stopped… hallelujah!), seems to have resonated with many, many people, and has ultimately inspired the creation of a community-based Web site (softsoundsensitivity.org), devoted to those who suffer from the same, or similar sound sensitivities as I.
Kudos to Rob, one of our commentors, for putting together this great site.
So did you tell her? Perhaps you should develop an equally annoying habit that will disrupt her quality of workplace life. I suggest your pass gas loudly and often. Better still if you can produce some ungodly aroma when you do.
Another idea is to offer her a hard candy – one that lasts long enough for you to get some work done. Although, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if your colleague produced an entirely different repertoire of sucking sounds.
I feel your pain. Long live rock and roll. Good luck.
I haven’t opened pandora’s box, yet. Actually, I was hoping that she would stumble upon the post, and read it for herself. This is not an impossibility, as most of the people I work with have seen my site, at one time or another.
(pop, pop, smack smack)
You have my complete and total sympathy but I don’t have any suggestions. I’ve ended friendships over this habit all because I was too embarrased to mention it to somebody for fear of their reaction. I’d still say you have more to gain than lose by mentioning it. Good luck.
Thanks for dropping by, Alan. Knowing that there are others out there that are equally put-off by such behavior makes me feel slightly less ridiculous.
At this point, in a final attempt to avoid creating a rift between myself and my coworker, I’m about to embark on a campaign of subtle harrassment. The ultimate goal is to make this person more aware of her own behavior, without direct confrontation.
We’ll see how that goes.
Thank you for helping me realize I am not the only person who can’t stand mouth noises. This has been a problem my entire life. Both of my bosses chew gum obnoxiously as well, and I constantly struggle with this issue too. I know from hard personal experience that family members were very offended when I asked them (as politely and with my tail tucked between legs as possible) to, for instance, chew with their mouths closed. Because I work in a very intimate office and it is imperative that we all function smoothly as a team, I have never directly confronted either of my bosses with my request, but one of them is aware that I hate gum-snapping. . . and she seems to have started doing it more since she acknowledged that I don’t like it. The other boss is oblivious, but that doesn’t make it any better. I practically go hide in my office whenever they come in with gum. I can hear it over everything else – I’m attuned to it, but it makes me want to scream.
Whew.
That said, I’m afraid the only advice I have is that, if you do decide to approach her, make sure you’re feeling casual, in a good mood, and don’t make it seem very serious. Just mention that sometimes you get distracted by certain noises, like gum-chewing (and maybe throw in some other, non-related examples). I wish you luck, and would love to share horror stories with you sometime.
I feel your pain. I’m at grad school in the US, and every day am subjected to a plethora of gum-smacking, chewing, popping etc. noises. It’s gotten so that I will move seats in the library or on the subway to avoid having to listen to the bovine in question.
It’s not that Europeans don’t have this disgusting habit; simply that every second or third American I encounter seems to be chewing vacantly, with their mouth open, staring into space. It’s vulgar and aesthetically ugly, and I can’t believe that they aren’t aware how offensive the sight, and sound, and awful minty smell is.
Whenever my buddies start to chew, I tell them gently exactly how bizarre it looks and how awful I find it, and if they insist on continuing, I ask how they would feel if I lit up a cigarette (a habit that I gave up because, ironically, Americans objected so often). They usually take my point….
So, although you may not be a confrontational individual, please say something gently. If it continues even after that, at least you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you tried, and the sense of impotence lessened somewhat.
Or you could just tell her how much she looks like a cow and make a mooing noise for good measure!
Bonne Chance!
I am a journalism student and I’m actually writing a story about how much I hate gum and the noises people make when chewing it. Would any of you be willing to be interviewed on your extreme gum-chewing phobias? I need stories about situations where it has driven you crazy — where you’ve retaliated or said something in a movie theater or in a library, or anyplace. Let me know! Thanks.
Ack! I have the same problem with TWO people at work! Problem is, they are “family” in a family owned business. Hopeless for me I’m afraid. My only solution is to find another job. Gum popping totally annoys me to no end!
Hello–
Found your site because I was searching under “gum chewing office etiquette”… just started a job 5 months ago and one of my co-workers, who I otherwise like and admire, is turning into a hearty chomper–who gets louder and faster as the day progresses and the frustration level increases. Has anyone had any success with confronting the problem in an office setting
If anyone does approach their “chomper” please do tell us how the heck you handled it. I am going nuts.
Wow…I thought no one else understood my pain!! I have three people that surround me at work, and two of them have this extremely irritating and disgusting habit.
One is a smacker (who I have to work very closely with) and one is a cracker and popper. The earphones are crammed in and cranked at this moment. There are times I don’t even hear my phone because I have them so loud. I believe I may go deaf soon, but at least I wouldn’t have to listen to this maddening noise. It really kills me, the woman I work closely with is perfect with office etiquette and manners – yet she chews her gum like a farm animal would. How did she make it through her life without anyone saying anything?! How is it that no one else I work with ever seems to mind? I was starting to think I was the only one who couldn’t handle these noises. I’m ready to rip my hair out at the end of the day! I get ‘testy’ with the smacker and I’m sure she just thinks I’m moody and not very nice. I put every effort into avoiding ‘projects’ with her and I’m sure she just has no clue that she’s driving me completely mad. Even in meetings…smack smack smack…mouth open, doublemint smell wafting through the room. She spits one piece out while unwrapping another to pop in. I thought about trying to find another job – but then looking around at the mall or grocery store it seems as if one of every 3 people is chewing away- mouth open…it’s just disgusting. I inevitably end up with the cracker/smacker behind me in the check out line and I’m really temped to say something to this person, especially since they’re someone that I will probably never encounter again “You know, the habit you have of cracking/and or smacking your gum is irritating and you’re probably bothering dozens of people a day, they’re just too nice to say anything.” I wish someone would say that to my co-workers…just to make them THINK. Unfortunately, they’d probably think “What? Why would that bother you?” Don’t they remember their mom telling them not to eat with their mouth open? Same rules for gum guys. UGH!
Wow, indeed!
I have no idea how, but it does seem that most people are able to tolerate, and even ignore, the smacking and popping. Unfortunately, we are not so lucky.
I am, however, somewhat comforted in the knowledge that I’m not the only “gum nazi” out there.
Since I first posted the gum rant, my situation has improved…although, only slightly. It turns out that gum-smacking, and popping, becomes a habit as hard to stop as smoking.
The offender in my office, thankfully, is not a classic defensive type.
Several weeks ago I decided to bite the bullet and politely confront her. I made sure we were alone, so as not to embarass her in front of our coworkers, and just explained to her that the gum smacking and popping was a distraction that made it difficult for me to concentrate on my work.
I was surprised by her reaction. She turned all beet red and apologized profusely. She claimed to not even be aware of her foul habit, and promised to do something about it.
Since then, I have noticed an improvement. However, there are still days when things get out of hand, and homicidal thoughts flood my mind.
Confronting her was a major positive, though. Now that the ice is broken, I can just shoot her a semi-evil look and the smacking and popping will stop, even if only for a short while. In fact, today I decided to try something new. When my threshold for the smacking and popping was exceeded, I sent her this:
http://www.sector404.org/images/nogum.jpg
Tension broken. A good laugh was had. I haven’t heard one smack or pop since.
I have already accepted that the road ahead is long, but I am determined to train her to think before she pops.
My advice to all of you is to be proactive on this matter. Every gum-smacker is different, and some may react poorly, but confrontation is the only choice if you wish to preserve your sanity. Summon-up the required courage and just go for it. However, and this is crucial, DO NOT CONFRONT YOUR SMACKER/POPPER WHEN YOU’RE ANGRY. It’s best if the offender doesn’t feel like you’re attacking him/her.
Keep us all posted on your successes and/or failures.
Thanks for all your comments, and best of luck!
-phil
This is perhaps the thing I hate the most. My sister used to do it around me until I asked her to stop. When she didn’t I actually reached into her mouth and yanked the gum out.
I’ve noticed that most (99.99999 percent) of the gum snappers are female. What gives with this? Does anyone know a male gum snapper?
Just as serial killers seem to be always be male, it also seems snapping tends to be a female affliction. I don’t recall any adult male ’snappers’.
There are male chompers I occasionally encounter. If you tune into a football or a baseball game and watch the coaches (and players in baseball), those guys chomp like that gum is the last food like substance they’ll ever have. Of course, we are talking about sports here…THE most important thing in American society, lots of pressure to succeed there, lots of stress they need an outlet for.
I personally have found no solution for my chomper. I tried with all my power to avoid a project with her once because of the gum chomping, and it ended with her running away to the bathroom crying. I’d say that’s a pretty good sign a confrontation would not go well.
Meanwhile, I will crank the headphones and perhaps study Buddhism to try to learn to just accept everything around me. Serenity now…insanity later.
Someone can ruin their entire persona by smacking gum. It does not promote a professional image or good team play, especially when the person is aware of its offense to a co-worker. It is a sure sign that that person does not care. I have tried to cajole the offensive party and laugh at myself for the nuisance, but it affects my ability to perform, and my performance is depended on by the whole team. There has got to be some workplace rule somewhere on noise abuse. For the sake of our team’s future, I may have to request a physical move and lose an acquaintance. In the end, she loses. I thought there might be the threat of cavities or something else that might get her attention. It can’t be good for your teeth. Help!!!
What an unprofessional and gross habit. Doesn’t the popping and snapping sounds really help your concentration at work?!! I would not approach her. Tell your human resources person or supervisor about it, then if he or she is professional about it they will tell your coworker that it is an anonymous complaint. Approaching the person privately, or your supervisor or human resources person telling her who the person is who actually made the complaint (you) then she might be spiteful and make it worse or make your relationship more difficult. Even worse like in my case, turn others against you also.
Oh my gosh. My heart is pounding and my shoulders are tense just reading these comments. I was actually looking for some help with this same issue when I stumbled acrossed your post. I become irrationally angry (NOT my personality at all) when I am exposed to obscene mouth noises and feel totally helpless. I am the Director of a company and it is equally as difficult for me to address offending employees as it is for an employee to address a supervisor (if there is any comfort in that knowledge). Last night my mom called to ask me if I still had that “problem” with gum chewing because my young cousin (14) had just been taken out of school because he couldn’t deal with all of the gum smacking and food chomping. His mother also suffers from the same “phonia”(not phobia). They found a doctor that has diagnosed the problem as a variation of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and have prescribed anti-anxiety meds for him. (Point of Interest: his Dr. told him that this disorder occurs at a higher frequency in those with above average intelligence, hmmm.) I don’t believe in medication so I haven’t approached this fix yet, but I’m getting close. I have also looked at other disorders including phonophobia, misophonia and hyperacusis. These “disorders” all have attributable factors to what we suffer from, but none of them state, “a person who hates the sound of gum being chewed as if by a ruminant”!!! Unfortunately, none of them offer a quick fix, but for me there was comfort in the fact knowing that I wasn’t the only normal person out there that feels these same emotions. I will continue to go to church and move from pew to pew to get away from parents who give their children gum to keep them “quiet”, move seats at the theater to get away from the cud chewing behind me, etc. As for my employees, I will continue to fire those offending my ears and ask interviewees to chew a piece of gum for me before I hire them. J/K
I, too, have suffered with 3 gum chewers in my office. The cacaphony of popping and cracking has actally made me so mad I was close to tears. They truly do not know how stupid it makes them look or sound. It is unprofessional. How can anyone kept something in thier mouth that long? I fill your rage. Has anyone asked Dear Abby for advice?
I was able to suck it up for all of a month before I decided that my health and sanity were far more important than my fear of offending the gum smacker in my office. I confronted her, and continue to confront her whenever the gum-smacking gets out of hand. I can only suggest you do the same, but not at a moment when you’re about to “lose it”. You don’t want your emotions controlling the situation.
Good luck.
AMEN! All of your comments are so what I have been feeling for about 6 months. And, get this – my coworker is a guy! He not only cracks his gum and blows bubbles (large) all day long, he whistles constantly. I have made myself crazy feeling like no one else around here is bothered as much as I am and yet I work in a very quiet, professional office (with lawyers!).
I think gum offenses are typically by women, which is why I think he seems so “sissy” to have such an awful habit. I’m shocked his wife has never told him to cut if out.
I agree that it affects your professional image, but my problem is that he is my equal and has tried in other situations to manipulate situations to get clients from me, etc. So I don’t think confronting him in any manner would go over well.
Do you think a HR supervisor could get the annoyance part across is it futile?
I still feel guilty that things like these habits make me so unbelievably angry. Anyone have insight as to why we are so bothered?
Believe it or not, I actually worked for a company that gave warnings over things like this. It started after one woman walked around with about 4 wads in her mouth and you could always see it rolling around when she talked. Talk about discusting! I can’t believe people do these things without realized how gross it is. I see both men and women out shopping, etc. popping their gum and often wonder if they were raised in barns.
I’m intrigued by the idea that this “problem” of ours is some form of obsessive compulsive behavior as Lori wrote about. I don’t know if a doctor would take me seriously if I told her I could barely make it though my work days because of gum smacking co-workers, and I have a difficult time functioning in public. Movie theaters are out of the question. I would seriously consider medication if it were a viable solution.
It’s tough to accept this as our problem, not a problem of the people smacking aimlessly and rudely through the day. It’s difficult not to think of them as mindless inconsiderate idiots. That’s harsh, but the whole thing just makes me so angry.
I have this board marked as one of my favorites so I can check new postings. It’s nice to know there are others out there and I’m not suffering alone!
Anyone have a problem with loud chewing of ANY kind I sit next to a person who crunches her food very loudly with her mouth open – almost as if the loud crunching noise is the whole point. I am never a violent person, but loud chewing evokes a need in me to punch the chewer. It wouldn’t ever happen, but that is the extent to which I hate loud chewing of all kinds, my sister has the same issue. How does one cope with this?
I cured my co-worker’s gum popping/chomping/cracking by reading her this article!
Try it!
Hey fellow gum phobics! i dont know about you guys but this website is certainly a comfort to me. I actually see a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist about my phobia and I showed her this page. She was really pleased and said it should help normalise my fears. The problem is, and I dont know if any of you guys have it but everywhere i go i am anxious that i am gonna see someone chewing and it is sometimes really so exhausting to have to go throught this every day. Has anyone tried hypnosis? the drugs dont really work unless you are depressed. Oh well, a small bit of comfort comes in the fact that there are those new orbit sweet mint strips which the whole world might just fall in love with and dump their gum instead!!!
Love to all of you.
I agree that it IS nice to know that we aren’t alone. I wish you luck in dealing with the offenders. I too have been sensitive to these noises for quite some time. Gum popping/snapping was the first thing that I was intolerable of and from there, chips, popcorn, chewing on hard candy, cellophane wrappers, the list goes on.(Does it drive any of you nuts when someone is typing on their keyboard all too hard?)
It blows peoples minds that I can hear these things hundreds of feet away because I despise them. If you talk to those who don’t have this sensitivity (which unfortunately is just about everyone) they look at you like you are insane and tell you “tune it out” or “relax”. Meanwhile, my adrenaline rushes as if I am ready to take the offender down(!), I become tense, extremely irritable, distracted, and have to bite my tongue not to blurt out what I am thinking.
My sensitivity was always to sound only, however in my office the smell of popcorn makes me want to “get out” fast because I associate it with all of the rude, obnoxious noises. Imagine my fury when, and I am not kidding, my coworkers pop between them about 3 to 4 bags a day from morning to the end of the workday! (Amazingly, almost always burnt.) So,I wear headphones and listen to my music loudly every day just to get through. My coworkers are so used to my reaction of disgust that they think I am the crabbiest person around but it is only set off by these sounds!
While I wish that I didn’t have the sensitivity, I feel justified in thinking that these people are completely unprofessional so why must I consider leaving my job? To hopefully work someplace where it isn’t ever-present. But I know, wherever we may go, one of THEM will be there
Thanks for your posts, sorry for the lengthiness of my own post,and I look forward to reading more! Take care.
After 25 years of fighting my distaste for gum chewing, I finally have discovered all of you who feel the same way!!! It’s as helpful to me as when I made the decision a number of years ago not to condemn myself because I felt this way. It freed me, giving myself permission to feel that it’s ugly and to choose not deal with people who chew distastefully, and to mention it to people who matter to me when it bothers me.
One of the things I hate about it is that it interferes with communication. The sound of a person’s voice, their use of words and their facial expressions are so integral to meaningful conversation that when a green piece of rubber is bobbing up and down around on a slick of saliva in a person’s mouth, it ruins the conversation for me. When I’ve told friends that I would appreciate their not chewing gum while we talk so that my attention won’t be distracted and that I can participate more fully in the conversation, they have always been puzzled, but agree to stop. And I find that after the conversation and they say that they need to chew gum again, it doesn’t bother me because they gave me what I wanted and now I can reciprocate.
Looking forward to hearing more from everyone…
Like so many of you, I feel great relief to know I am not alone. After reading your posts I was prompted to send an online question to a popular self help website.
This is what I wrote:
I get so annoyed with sounds that I no longer want to go anywhere and walk around my house with earplugs in. The sounds that drive me crazy? Gum cracking, sniffling, people talking (particularly in movies), and when I’m home the sound of dogs barking or too loud music get me so angry. Granted some of these sounds are annoying to everyone, but they are ruining my life. I avoid being around people because of the former annoyances and hate being at home because of the latter. Can you help me? I am getting zero enjoyment out of my life.
-Alice
Her response:
Dear Alice:
You’re absolutely right – some of these sounds are annoying to everyone, but what you’re experiencing is way beyond that. Not only are you currently unable to shut them out, ignore them, get away from them or refocus your attention elsewhere, but the quality of your life is being actively impaired. You’re probably at the point now where your busy mind is actively looking for annoying sounds, pouncing on them when it finds them, and then agitating you further in a circular feedback loop of sensitivity/irritation.
The good news is the problem is not in the sounds. That’s the good news, because you can’t do anything about them. Even silence has a sound quality to it, after all. You’re suffering from an obsessive disorder. That’s the good news, because it can be fixed.
For this you want to go to a clinic or therapist especially geared to treat this problem, which is called an obsessive disorder, and – now, listen up to this part – someone who has prescription priveleges.
That’s because just talking about this is probably not going to break the cycle. You need medication as well. It’s very likely that your system processes seratonin way too fast for its own good, and it’s doing funny things with your brain. So you probably need to get on some SSRI – seratonin re-uptake inhibitor – meds. That’s just a guess that needs to be confirmed by a pro who can eyeball you and examine you in person. But if he or she agrees, you also need to stay on them for a while, once you find a flavor that agrees with you. This won’t go away in a matter of weeks, so don’t even go there.
Now, that’s not to say you shouldn’t be talking about this in a therapy situation too, because you need to do that as well. This condition has left you socially isolated, angry, and irritable, and maybe even a little phobic, and it may have been catalyzed by life events, traumatic stress or who knows what. It’s a chicken-egg situation, and the best way to deal with it is by addressing both the physiological and the psychological aspects at the same time.
You can also do some behavioral therapy for this as well. You can be taught to train your mind to refocus on command, with meditation or guided imagery. That will be part of any good treatment regimen anyway.
So quit focusing on the sounds. They are not the issue. Focus on your weary, accoustically overwrought self and get some help. Call your local hospital or your area psychological association or ask your internist. But get cracking – there’s no need to suffer like this.
—Anyway, just thought I would share this with you.
Thanks!
I have a problem with people cracking/popping their gum since I was 9 years old. Yesterday, I had to leave Church because a new person was sitting behing me cracking her gum. It literaly made me ill. I am beginning to think I am going to go crazy, gum chewers are everywhere, at work, at home, now at church. I cannot go to Movie theaters, if I go shopping there is always a gum cracker, I immediately have to leave. I don’t enjoy life anymore because of gum chewers. I am worried about myself. I have asked people in the past at work to please not crack their gum, they were not happy about it, and continue to crack. I need help
Thank you for letting me express myself on this subject. I truly have a gum phobia, and everyone thinks I’m crazy–except for you all!! I literally become ill at the sight, sound or even smell of the evil rubbery substance. I am tense (strangely in my groin area) helpless, wanting to cry, irritable, needing to punch whoever is the culprit. I am a college student and it is constantly around me: on the bus, in class, at the fraternity meetings, the movies, the library, etc. I have to move seats or leave. It is ruining friendships and my life in general, and I see myself becoming an old, lonely, bitter man over this. I need psychological help–and fast.
Thank you for letting me express myself on this subject. I truly have a gum phobia, and everyone thinks I’m crazy–except for you all!! I literally become ill at the sight, sound or even smell of the evil rubbery substance. I am tense (strangely in my groin area) helpless, wanting to cry, irritable, needing to punch whoever is the culprit. I am a college student and it is constantly around me: on the bus, in class, at the fraternity meetings, the movies, the library, etc. I have to move seats or leave. It is ruining friendships and my life in general, and I see myself becoming an old, lonely, bitter man over this. I need psychological help–and fast.
thank goodness i’m not as crazy as i thought i was…i can relate to every aspect of what everbody here has said, and it has been quite therapeutic. i’m currently looking for help. Meanwhile, i feel like my people skills and friendships are falling apart over this matter. i wish gum were never invented–why not have a mint instead?
I don’t know how to express how wonderful it feels to read all your comments and realize that I am not alone. I have always been hypersensitive to noises, in particular mouth and nose noises (including gum chewing), to the point that I feel enraged. But what can I do? Most people don’t even hear the noises I do and I can’t stop people from making noises of which they are not aware. It is to the point that I can’t study in libraries as I am highly attuned to any small noises that occur. And recently I have begun being bothered by the breathing (can you imagine!) of my boyfriend! This hypersensitivy is deeply affecting my life and I have actually been wondering if it were not obsessive-compulsive (so a few of the previous comments were of particular interest to me) or misophonia. I have an appointment with a doctor and I hope to god something can be done. I can’t even sleep with my partner. I am really lucky however because my partner and I have great communication and I have been able to share a bit of what I am going through, (even though I know I can’t ask him to stop breathing! ha ha!)and he has been generally quite supportive although I am not sure if he fully grasps the extent to which I anticipate and am annoyed by eating & breathing noises… What am I going to do when I have children and they are sick and begin sniffling and breathing heavily? I can’t live in my room for the rest of my life and I know that I can’t get away from these noises – almost everyone makes noises of some sort or another. It is a real relief to realize I am not alone. Good luck and courage to you all.
Hi all gum- haters! Just thought I’d say hello and wish you well. Not a day, nor an hour goes by without me thinking about people chewing, wondering when someone around me is gonna start, wondering when they are gonna stop. My phobia definitely has an emotional core-I have a bad relationship with my mother and she mentally abused me as a child so I was always on edge around her and then i began to notice she made annoying mouth noises. I do believe that this is what maybe influenced my gum chewing phobia. It is the relentlessness of the movement and the fact that I cant control it or make it stop. I guess it reminds me of being a helpless kid again. I know all of this seems very “Oprah” but i was wondering if it may be useful for you guys to know my experience. One friend recommended that I make a video of people chewing and watch it every day to desensitise myself and it does help a bit. As for the notion that what we have is OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder, I think), I would disagree. I just dont think its that simple. Also, was wondering if any of you have found that your social lives have suffered and that you tend to avoid going out to certain “chewing places” and whether you are affected even by seeing someone chewing on tv.
I would be really pleased to know what you think.
All my best wishes
Sarah x
Sarah, Thank you for sharing what must be a very difficult experience with all of us. One point that you stated really rang home with me, one that I hadn’t thought of. I am, admittedly, a control freak and have a difficult time with events that I can’t control. I’ll have to ponder its correlation with my gum phobia. To answer your question, this definitely puts a crimp on my social life. Ironically, I have an extremely difficult time hearing in areas where there are many people (bars, dances, etc.)so if I want to socialize, I am forced to do so in small settings where I am more apt to encounter annoying “chewers” on a more personal level. Unfortunately these are the settings that one definitely appears rude if you have to leave. I know which people I can agree to go out with and where I can go to with them based on their eating and noisemaking habits, (yes I know I’m bizzare). Thank God I have an understanding husband (who I could kill on days when he is chewing on his fingernails, which is probably due to putting up with such an analretentive wife!). And yes, I change the channel right away if someone is eating or chewing in a disgusting manner on television. Well I said my (long winded) piece. If anything, this is definitely cathartic. Here’s to a very quiet day to all of you. -Lori
I feel quite safe with this board. I understand everything! I have been dodging “gummy” bears as I call them for about 8 years now. I loved gum when I was younger. My father hated it when others chewed, but he chewed a half a stick a day. I don’t understand it. One day, I was in the car with my mom and she was chomping on her gum. I couldn’t take it. I asked her to stop and she chewed a little louder at first. But soon she spit it out. Since then I can’t chew it or sit next to someone with it. I am tired of dealing with this issue. Everytime I tell someone to stop the “smacking” they apologize and keep chewing. At work, there are two people who constantly sit next to me. One has the long, slow chew. (In which she chews all day long). And the other will smack, pop and look back at me. It will take her 5 seconds, to say ” Oh, I’m sorry. I really am being as quiet as I can. I forgot”. It is getting worse! I hate it even when they are not chewing it loudly. I can’t stop looking at that disgusting disposition of the jaw as it tries to quietly pop and squish gum. All of this, while smelling a deep cloud of cold, peppermint gum. I hate it–the entire aura the smell, the sight, and that god awful sound. That’s why it’s comforting to me, that there are others who can hone in on a “gummy” bear or two. No one else takes you seriously when you tell them you can HEAR the smacking. I am seriously considering some hypnotherapy. I would like to completely abandon my memory of the gum popping/cracking/smacking/squishing forever!!!! It is truly driving me nuts!!
I feel quite safe with this board. I understand everything! I have been dodging “gummy” bears as I call them for about 8 years now. I loved gum when I was younger. My father hated it when others chewed, but he chewed a half a stick a day. I don’t understand it. One day, I was in the car with my mom and she was chomping on her gum. I couldn’t take it. I asked her to stop and she chewed a little louder at first. But soon she spit it out. Since then I can’t chew it or sit next to someone with it. I am tired of dealing with this issue. Everytime I tell someone to stop the “smacking” they apologize and keep chewing. At work, there are two people who constantly sit next to me. One has the long, slow chew. (In which she chews all day long). And the other will smack, pop and look back at me. It will take her 5 seconds, to say ” Oh, I’m sorry. I really am being as quiet as I can. I forgot”. It is getting worse! I hate it even when they are not chewing it loudly. I can’t stop looking at that disgusting disposition of the jaw as it tries to quietly pop and squish gum. All of this, while smelling a deep cloud of cold, peppermint gum. I hate it–the entire aura the smell, the sight, and that god awful sound. That’s why it’s comforting to me, that there are others who can hone in on a “gummy” bear or two. No one else takes you seriously when you tell them you can HEAR the smacking. I am seriously considering some hypnotherapy. I would like to completely abandon my memory of the gum popping/cracking/smacking/squishing forever!!!! It is truly driving me nuts!!
Let me know if you have any joy with the hypnotherapy Elisa! Just wondering if anyonw else feels guilty about this phobia? I mean, every time you have to ask an offender to stop, doesnt it just make you feel like shit? You just feel like the most ridiculous, unreasonable person in the universe, yet anti-smoking nazis are far worse than us, guys, you’d better believe it!!!
You’re so right about the smoke nazis. I’d much rather deal with a smoker than a gum chewer. It’d be great if you couldn’t chew gum at work or in a public place. Imagine “NO GUM” signs everywhere, gum chewers hoovering around outside the door chewing frantically on their ‘gum’ break.
I never work up the courage to ask the offender to stop. I’ve tried dropping hints to my main offender, like mentioning that my boyfriend was eating a sucker one day and I couldn’t take the noise so I asked him if I could have a lick and proceeded to let the dog have a few licks instead. I would think that’s a pretty good hint..the sucking of a sucker is similar to the smacking of gum, kinda…right? To no avail…hint flew right over offending co-workers head. I’ve asked my boss to say something, but he won’t. He said he’s noticed it, but it doesn’t bother him. If I ever did work up the courage to say something I can imagine that I would feel dumb. I envision the response being “I’ve been chewing gum my whole life, no one else has ever said anything.” Like my annoyance of her constant chomping is wrong.
At times I feel a twinge of guilt, as I often wish TMJ on her. Not that I want her in pain, I just want her to STOP. I don’t understand how someone can chomp their whole damn life, (and she’s in her 50’s) like this and not have jaw problems and not have someone, just once, say something about how disgusting it is and unprofessional it is at work.
Elisa, I too must turn off the TV whenever a gum-chewer is on the scene (Matt Damon in “Ocean’s 11″ for example!) Also, I can’t stand it even when people are chewing with their mouths CLOSED! As you described it, “that disgusting disposition of the jaw,” a jaw with teeth and saliva that nevertheless produce ‘gum squishes’ when closed–and more intensely at that, echoing between the cheeks and off the roof of the mouth. While at the theater, my peripheral vision targets the movement of any mouth and I have to use my hand as a shield at the side of my face to stop the misery! It is very much a control problem for me too. Best of luck to yall.
airplanes, airports, church, theaters
1) put tissue paper in your ears
2) chew gum yourself (be courtious)
3) ask the b if they could plz
chew quietly
4) express your emotion by facial
expression
5) passively live in torment
6) if I’m feeling great, energised, and focused out from myself, it doesn’t bother me at all.
I also had an anger toward my mother. The rooted rejection came out as bitterness to her mouth noises. If
Froyd was only still alive. DE
Television is aware of this problem. You usually only see an actor chewing gum if they are portraying a prostitute or a deralect. Gum commercials always edit to a different picture after the actor puts the gum in their mouth. They never show chewing.
I think the republicans are considering legislation.
I was so suprised to find this board!! As with all of you I thought I was the only one with this problem. My highly sensitive ears pick up the tiniest (sp) mouth and nose noises, coins clinking together in pockets, etc. And it is making my life miserable. My marriage is even in trouble because my husband just doesn’t beleive I can hear the sounds and he thinks I’m ‘not normal.’ He says he wants a divorce because of my constant ‘picking’ on him. My life has become unbearable and I have come to the conclusion that I have only two choices. I can live alone and closed up in a room by myself or I can end my life. I don’t want to live without my husband or alone, so what does that leave? I cry all the time now because I just can’t live like this. Always wondering if I am going encounter those horrible noises. Even my family doesn’t understand. Who could, who hasn’t lived like this?
This message is for Linda. Do not despair so my friend. You certainly have more options than the two you listed above. Remember that you are not alone on this!! Many of us share your pain in living with highly sensitive ears. You have to force yourself to live on happily and try to get away from the noises. Some things that work for me: ear plugs, fans & music & radio for back ground noise, telling people when the noises they are making bother me. Maybe your husband can read these postings and understand that maybe the normal majority of people are not bothered by these noises, but many others definately pick up these sounds and it makes life tough for us. Others should be more understanding that some noises they create does in fact bother some people. No getting around it. Here’s to a happy and healthy tomorrow!
) Do not, do not, do not give up so easily! You can live with victory.
This is an addendum to my [Linda's] post and response to Barb.
I realized after I posted my comment that I had left an important part of my message off. I thought I had written it, but I guess I didn’t. I have too much I want to do in my life to end it. I just wish I could. I always want to know what is going to happen tomorrow. But, I find it almost impossible to understand why there are so many mean people out there. When ever I DO speak up, I get responses like ‘Just live with it’ or ‘Just don’t let it bother you’ or ‘Why are you so touchy?’ Or they tell ME I am rude when I speak up. My husband is sick and tired of this ‘handicap’, although he just sees it as bad behavior on my part. I think I will try the earplugs. That may be a start. I did have counceling and she gave me antidepressents, but they really haven’t worked on this problem. The irony is that my therapist has the SAME problem!!! (with the gum)I haven’t seen her in several years because she moved away. I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but I find it completely demoralizing to admit to this affliction. It is like I have a dirty little secret and if I share it with someone I feel ashamed and very vulnerable. I appeciate all of you and am glad to finally have someone I can share with that understands. Good luck to all.
I think we’ve all shared that feeling of guilt or, “I must be a freak”, at some point or another, because of this silly sensitivity to certain sounds. I know I did at the time I vented my frustration to the world, via this site.
However, seeing that so many people share this affliction, to varying degrees of intensity, I no longer hesitate to tell people, “if you can’t chew your gum without all of us having to endure your disgusting mouth noises, stop chewing the gum.” I no longer worry about the reaction this gets, my sanity is worth more to me than their affection.
Linda,
I’m not sure what kind of advice I can give you, except that you need to stop blaming yourself for a condition you’ve played no part in creating. Also, I think you need to seek out additional professional help. I doubt this “sound sensitivity syndrome” is something well understood, so you may need to see several doctors before finding a treatment that works for you. Just don’t give up.
-phil
In response to Linda’s post:
It is a delibitating affliction and unless someone has it, they’re probably not going to understand it. Seems like most problems that are “mental” and not measurable are looked upon as a weakness rather than an legit problem. We’re supposed to “just stop”, “don’t listen for it”, “just ignore it”. Maybe an analogy would help one understand. Most people have some kind of pet peeve and if it’s a “noise” pet peeve it may help. Like someone being irritated by a lawn mower running, basketball pounding, vaccuum cleaner roaring, lots of kids playing in the pool hollering…ask them to image that pet peeve presenting itself several times daily (or constantly for some of us with the rude clueless co-workers. Don’t get me started, she’s chomping that damn gum it as I type this. Ick, that slimy little blob floating around in her mouth when she talks, then the mouth open chomping when she’s not talking. The wafting of spearmint odor, so disgusting..and we’re the ones with a “problem”) Anyway, if you can at least get some kind of connection maybe it would help him understand.
Response to RM
Almost NOTHING bothers my husband BUT me! Snoring does, but he deals with it. He doesn’t understand an analogy because things just aren’t that intense for him. HOWEVER….I have told him about how things bother me, but he just didn’t get it until now! I asked him to read this board and because he needs confirmation from other sources for anything I tell him, he got it from all of you. I took a personal risk writing to this board and showing it to him, but it paid off. I know we have a long way to go, but at least I have some peace at home for now. I am going to see a ear doctor for starters and use ear plugs and we are going to counseling. I want to thank all of those here who shared their pain and suggestions. It saved my marriage. Another thing. I used to work in offices with gum poppers and I know what you are going through. IT is impossible to live with 8 hours a day of insenitive nasty people. Having to stand in line front of them or sit in a movie (DONT anymore). I will continue to watch this board and hope we can find a ‘Cure’ for this. HEY RM if I could, I would go to your office and pop her right in the mouth for you!!!
What is this really called?
I don’t want to feel like a cliche on this board, but thank god I have found other people like me – I have often felt ashamed, embarrased, ‘not normal’ and consequently the only people that know is my partner and 1 close friend.
I live in Edinburgh and also suffer from this – with me, a complete wave of irrationability comes over me whenever someone eats around me, I don’t have to see them (though the whole jaw moving thing exacerbates me more) but the noise enough feels like mental torture – I really just want to smack them hard and in my mind I am swearing all kinds of unkind thoughts at them! (I am a placid person by nature).
This board has helped me regain some of my sanity, at the very least given me strength in knowing that the intense feelings of anger, shame, disgust (at the perpetrators and me!) and fear (of being in situations whenever friends come round with food or sitting on a bus forcing to hear someone eat crisps! etc. scream!!!) I feel does not make me alone – THANK YOU ALL OF YOU.
I have read the postings here about Obsessive Compulsive Disorders – but given human nature to try to ‘label’ every single thing – is there not a proper term that has been defined for this? Or indeed any links to any medical help / definitions would really be appreciated.
I’m not sure how common this is and before I feel brave enough to talk to my GP about this I would like to able to provide as much information / other people’s experiences as possible – indeed I do not even know how much awareness of this there is in the UK and whether or not I would be taken seriously.
What is this really called?
I don’t want to feel like a cliche on this board, but thank god I have found other people like me – I have often felt ashamed, embarrased, ‘not normal’ and consequently the only people that know is my partner and 1 close friend.
I live in Edinburgh and also suffer from this – with me, a complete wave of irrationability comes over me whenever someone eats around me, I don’t have to see them (though the whole jaw moving thing exacerbates me more) but the noise enough feels like mental torture – I really just want to smack them hard and in my mind I am swearing all kinds of unkind thoughts at them! (I am a placid person by nature).
This board has helped me regain some of my sanity, at the very least given me strength in knowing that the intense feelings of anger, shame, disgust (at the perpetrators and me!) and fear (of being in situations whenever friends come round with food or sitting on a bus forcing to hear someone eat crisps! etc. scream!!!) I feel does not make me alone – THANK YOU ALL OF YOU.
I have read the postings here about Obsessive Compulsive Disorders – but given human nature to try to ‘label’ every single thing – is there not a proper term that has been defined for this? Or indeed any links to any medical help / definitions would really be appreciated.
I’m not sure how common this is and before I feel brave enough to talk to my GP about this I would like to able to provide as much information / other people’s experiences as possible – indeed I do not even know how much awareness of this there is in the UK and whether or not I would be taken seriously.
On Hypnosis, etc.:
Long story short: I am going mad…I, unfortunately, understand every comment that has been made. While we are all planning evil plots of revenge against the gum chewers, I thought I might throw in a few thoughts regarding hypnosis. This problem has made me ill with nausea for several years. The very thought of gum is enough to cramp me up. Around 8 years ago, I decided to be hypnotized…for $45 I underwent this one-time therapy session (including an everyday relaxation tape) as a last-resort for my ear (and stomach) pain. When I explained my affliction to gum noise to the hypnotist, she was at first concerned that she couldn’t help me. However, in this one session, she revealed that the problem was rooted in dislike for my step-father (he made terrible mouth noises, had a fat tongue, and he looked like a chameleon). I never had thought of it before, and for a while her suggestions worked. In the session, she had me focus on a red stop sign every time I heard the noise. Every time I saw the color red, I was supposed to relax. Honestly, it really worked for a few months. Unfortunately I never returned because I was broke. I strongly feel that repeated hypnotic treatment would work to eliminate this mental block we all suffer from. It is really all mental; the mind is so powerful, which is why gum bothers us so much in the first place. We cannot control gum chewing. But, we can control how we respond to the gum cows. Believe me, if it were easy, I’d be cured. I am going to start meditating on it every day for 15 minutes, to train my mind to calm itself when faced with an ignorant co-worker or passerby. I realize that this is the only hope we have, and EVERYONE on this board should go see a hypnotist asap, including myself. It may not work at first, but keep at it. Tell me your progress. Thanks!
I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE! I love this site. For as long as I can remember I have been “noise sensitive” to everything…gum snappers, people who SUCK their gum, the sound of saliva in people’s mouth’s as they eat, pocket change jinglers, snorers, mouth smackers, loud keyboard typers, lawn mowers, basketballs bouncing endlessly, etc.
I am so crazed that I used to carry ear plugs with me at all times in case I was in the presence of noises that annoyed me. At work I cannot wear earplugs so I have a fan that I turn on whenever I hear a gum snapper in the distance, a popcorn eater, or a large group of people opening their soda cans! UGH!
Last night I said to my husband that I needed to look online for a support group because I am going crazy. Sometimes I feel I’m the only person who can hear or see the noises people make. Thank God my husband can see and hear what I do. However, he seems to have more patience than I do.
I barely enjoy going to the movies for fear that I will be sitting next to a snapper, an eater, or a candy bag opener. My husband is also noise sensitive (but not to my extent) so he is more than happy to move to different seats in the theatre to avoid noises. Getting on an airplane is equally disturbing to me. I spend so much time worrying that even if everything is quiet that suddenly I’ll hear that lovely little crumple of paper and a stick of gum going into someone’s mouth.
I nearly come out of my skin if a gum snapper is behind me in line at a store. I literally burn holes through them with my evil stare.
Again, thanks for sharing your stories. I appreciate knowing I’m not the only one with this condition.
i tottally agree with MIke Wilson. I suffer with this too. I find the noise of people eating food and crunching crisps etc absolutely unbearable, i’m fine with other noises its just eating, crunching,chewing, it sends me into an almost uncontrollable rage. I have often thought that it must be a known condition of some kind, as the level of irritation is so high, but i havent been able to find out any further information.?
I too suffer from the mouth noises problem. Although I have to say it has eased slightly with age (possibly because I can choose where I am more now). I think the condition is hereditry as my brother is the only other person I know who also suffers from it.
I don’t just find it annoying but infuriating to the point where I have worried that I might physically assualt somebody. Although so far I have only managed to assault myself by punching myself particularly hard in the forehead whilst I was trapped in the cinema with somebody guzzling popcorn behind me.
The probelm is it is so irrational that it is very difficult to mention it to anybody and most people find it difficult to understand why you would even find it annoying – let alone wanting to kill them. I find mentioning it to people is no good anyway – they may stop for a bit but because it is of such little relevance to them they are soon back to munching crisps, chewing gum and sucking the life out of boiled sweets in your ear.
I have thought maybe its some age old reaction. Perhaps when we were more like animals it was desirable to get an overwhelming rage when somebody else was eating so you could beat the shit of them and pinch their food. Unfortunately i don’t think thats acceptable in todays society.
Thank you so much for giving me a laugh in my day! If I didn’t stumble across this board, I may have ripped the teeth out of my co-worker, as she is currently cracking her gum and it feels like a pin sticking in my ear.
I have casually mentioned to her that I can hear her cracking all the way over at my desk, and her only reply was ‘yeah, I know it’s a bad habit.’ Acknowledging a bad habit does not make it okay!
Well, until I change my job or her teeth fall out, I will at least have this post to keep me sane.
Amazing. I had no idea there were so many people like me…. As soon as I hear gum-cracking, my ears automatically attune to it and I find myself WAITING for it to happen again. There is no way I can possibly block it out. I’ll sit through an entire movie in the theatre so mad that I can’t even focus on the movie itself…. The only time I’ve ever said anything to the offender was recently at work. It happened to be a guy who was trying to quit smoking, so he constantly was chewing Nicorette or something like it. He was on my team (I was his boss). I had always had a good work-relationship with my whole team, and he was no exception. I opted for the sarcastic approach. Every time I heard him crack, I’d ask him if the gum was good. When he said yes, I’d tell him that I knew it was good, because I was enjoying it too. He caught on, and it would stop…. for awhile.
Hang in there everyone. Until they start a gum-free state for us all to move to, we’ll just have to try not to go insane!
Wow, glad I found this board I was starting to believe I really was alone on this.
For me its more crunching sounds, chips, popcorn and such. My mum has a habit of chewing ice. I confronted her about it and she trys to not do it around me now, but she reacted as if I was overreacting. When she does it, I can hear it from over 100 feet away, through walls, in a crowded room. I’m just totaly attuned to the noise of it.
Then there’s my dad, he has a habit of mouth breathing and chewing with his mouth open. It gets me absolutely sick to my stomach when i see/hear it or even start to think about it.
It’s bothering me more and more as time goes on, I pick up on more sounds, from more sources and am starting to get very violent thoughts when I’m exposed to the stimuli. (to the point where I feel I want to kill the person making the offending noise).
I’ve searched far and wide all over the internet, and the only places I’ve found anything on this “disorder” is this board, a site about OCD, a small post about someone with add, and a support group for people with schizio personality disorder. I don’t meet any of the other symptoms of the above listed things, so i’ve ruled those out.
This board does lead me to believe that this is its own unique mental illness of some sort.
The post about the person with ADD (found here: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020628/msgs/111115.html )
said that Dexedrine helped with this, so I’m comforted that there is possible medication out there that can help.
I plan on seeing a doctor about this soon.
I just emailed our meeting moderator and asked him politely to dispose of his chewing gum before starting a meeting. For 75 minutes this morning, he moderated a meeting while happily chomping his gum with his mouth open like a blubbering idiot. I’ll let you know if he replies to my message, but I suspect he will take the message with a grain of salt.
Gum-chomping and other mouth noises drive me crazy. It’s gotten to the point that I simply refuse to eat meals with certain people because they are open-mouth eaters. Even my parents are offensive eaters, and so I was glad to drop them off the airport after a week of their chowing down.
My cousin is even worse when he slurps popsicles. Bite the god-damned popsicle already and suck on it with your mouth closed until it melts! Sheesh.
A non-mouth noise that really aggravates me is the pen clicking. Click it once to write and, when you put it away, click it once to close it. Stop the incessant clicking of the pin. These nervous people need to find an appropriate outlet for their insecurities.
The pocked coin clinging is another one. Leave the coins in a jar at home! I had a music professor who would jingle his change in his pocket while playing music for us to analyze. I couldn’t hear the music over his coins!
I’m glad someone else mentioned whistling. I hate whistlers. Why are they so happy anyway? Just shut up and go on with to-do list. I call them “canaries” to myself. They’re always off-tune and sound just awful.
Someone also mentioned snifflers. Blow your nose already, take Sudafed, go to the doctor, do something with the sniffles. I also despise the nose-whistlers, who have some kind of impediment in their nose canal and when they breath, they whistle. Blow out the obstruction already!!!!
Thank goodness I am not the only obsessive compulsive person offended by the dirty habits of others.
I am so glad I found you all. I don’t even know where to begin. Every now and then I have managed to find a blurb on the internet, mirroring my own feelings toward noises, specifically chewing gum/popping/smacking. For years I have felt like I am losing my mind. I don’t want to go on medication. I don’t want to end up with a glazed over ‘dumb’ look. At work, things are finally pretty good. I’m in a semi-private area. The pen-clicker got transferred. The ‘hummer/gum-popper’ moved cubicles. So, I’m sitting pretty. However, my main concern for the past several years has been my sister. She constantly chews and pops her gum. CONSTANTLY. And she always has this dumb grin on her face and she’s always ‘going for’ the pop. You know that look — the one where they are TRYING to pop the gum. Additionally, I am African American. I know there are poppers in every culture, put, darnit, if every AA woman I know isn’t popping her gum!!!!!! I am considering hypnosis. I’d like to hear more feedback from some other posters. I only go to movie matinees. You can strategically sit farthest from the poppers. If a popper is standing behind me in line, I leave the line and shop some more! The sound of gum-popping and smacking makes me angry!!!! I have been asking my sister for decades to stop and I always say please. Now that we are adults, I have just chosen not to be around her. But it takes work. I’m constantly strategizing how to avoid the popping. I don’t invite her to my home because when she leaves her house, she’s always chomping/popping. When I go to her home, she’s not chewing. But if things get quiet, she goes for the gum. I grab my bag to ’suddenly’ leave. She has no idea why, even after so many years. And if she suspects it’s the gum, then she will chew louder and pop pop pop and say ‘You ain’t ’bout to tell me I can’t chew gum up here in my house!!!” Ghetto b. Whew!!!!!!! I feel better now. Nice to know I’m not alone!!!!!
hi T-girl- just read your message and i gotta say- you really need to tell your sister. You will feel SOOOO much better if you do.I told my family about my problem and now they no longer chew gum around me. Its that simple. You must realise that if you dont say anything to her you may end up avoiding her and that would be terrible. Plus she will probably be pleased to find out that all you have is a phobia and that you’re not just permanently cranky- your walking out of her house at bizarre moments doesnt go unnoticed I’m sure. I have tried hypnotherapy but I am not sure that it works just yet. If the phobia is making you depressed then anti-depressants do help but that is not a decision to enter into lightly. If it helps, I feel exactly the same way as you so you r definitely not alone. I’m sure there are hundreds of us gum haters out there. all the best, sarah
What a comfort it is to have happened upon this community! I have always felt like an outsider for harboring such intense feelings of hatred for people who create unnecessary noise (i.e., gum chewing). I LOATHE it with a passion. I am sensitive to noise, in general. Even as I write this, I am cringing somewhat at the sound of the typing. (I try to press very lightly, though). It is nice to know that I am not alone in feeling this way. I, too, have felt enormous feelings of rage that have brought me close to tears, There have been times when I have just had to leave the dinner table, a room, whatever..
I am on Prozac. I’ve been all sorts of anti-depressants, but none seems to help. I have had anorexia and bulimia for the past seven years and have, therefore, been told by therapists that my irritability and hyper-sensitivity is caused by my malnourished state. However, I disagree. I have been this way as long as I can remember. Taking a test in school was always quite an ordeal. I NEVER could concentrate because of my desire to HARM the gum popper sitting beside me.
Oh dear, it is rather cathartic to vent such feelings. Thank you for letting me share.
It is a bit of a comfort to read these posts. The feeling of anger is overwhelming at times. I envision grabbing the gum out of the offender’s mouth and smashing it into their hair…nice, eh? The thought is a little embarrassing and I’d never admit it to anyone except fellow gum haters.
Everywhere you look, they’re out there…chomping and cracking mindlessly away. Aren’t there dental or jaw implications from constant chomping? Wouldn’t your salavory glands be on continuous overdrive? We need an article about how disgusting and rude this habit is so it can be distributed to the masses. At least it could be an excerpt in a ‘office etiquette’ article.
T-girl, I can relate to you not approaching your sister. There’s a co-worker that I’ve avoided saying anything to because I’d heard stories with the phrase “…and then I told him ‘you can’t tell me what to do.’” So it would make the situation worse and add more strain to a relationship that is already on edge.
I have a doctor’s appointment coming up and am thinking about saying something, but am afraid she’ll think I’m completely out of my mind and tell me I need counseling. I don’t think that’d help, but I’m not sure anything else would either.
I’m glad this board exists!
later.
Please allow me to add to the list the slurper! If the coffee is so hot that you have to slurp it up, then don’t drink it. Besides, I am already annoyed with the blubbering idiots who cannot function without their daily shot of caffeine. I like the smell of coffee but I hate the taste, and I hate the sound of someone slurping it instead of drinking it.
I am 40 years old and feel like I have missed a part of life because of this phobia of chewing gum. I recently have decided to go to college and try to get an education degree. I have four children and I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job at raising them. I’ve watched very closely how I’ve dealt with them about gum, because I don’t want them to have to live this way. I am very fortunate that my husband is as understanding as he it. I am so greatful to him. He, however, has no problem blocking the whole world out and concentrating on the project at hand. I have put alot of time and thought into this and have wondered Is this from my troubled childhood, then I think well I know other people who has had a much worse childhoods than I. therefore I’m back to thinking I’ve got a chemical imbalance or something. I have been through experiences time and time again with gum poppers. Some are kind and try, others just plain get mad, I even had someone tell me that it was MY problem. All I know is that certain sounds seem to stand out much sharper to me than others. There has to be something. I’ve even put a whole lot of thought into the fact that someone told me once that I was trying to control by asking them to stop popping. Because Lord knows that having control of anything or all is not worth having to live this way. It’s not control, at least I don’t think it is.
I was lying awake in bed the other night losing sleep because in math class there’s a girl who pops the whole classtime. I assume it’s not as loud to others since the teacher has never said anything to her. I just started school in August and we’ve not had to take a test yet. I’m just so afraid that when test day comes, I’ll bomb out and fail. For the class, she explains the problems and if I can’t concentrate I just bring it all home study until I figure it out or my husband helps me. I go to church and do love all the people there from the bottom of my heart, but I have to get up and move sometimes. Well, I guess I’m babbling on now. I would really like to do some research on this since I have found others like me. I was beginning to think that I was an alien from mars or something. If anyone is interested in helping me form a research questionaire for all of us to take, to see if we can come up with the truths of our problems, please contact me. I will be checking this site out agsin soon.
Thanks so much to whoever started this board. Who knows you may have just opened up a window to our futures.
I was wondering if this problem is hereditary. My brother and I seem to be the only people in my family that have this gum chewing issue. I have a baby now and i am worried that he will have the same problem when he gets older. Anyone here have children with the same phobia?
It’s so great to find this site with actual people who can understand my problem. I am currently a cart-pusher at the local Wal-Mart and thanks to this problem, there is not a single day I can do this job and not get crazy or homicidal. There are people all around me; co-workers, customers, and such who all constantly make those mind-grating gum-cracking noises and it has been driving me completely insane!!! It surprises me that some of you people have lived with this problem so long because have only had it for a year and I’m to a point where I want to either kill these people(in a slow, painful way) or myself. It never stops, even when I’m not at the workplace. I can’t go anywhere or do anything anymore because of this. Anymore I hit myself on the head extremely hard and eventually break down crying thanks to these rude, malicious people! And nobody I’ve told this to understands, not even my parents! I hear the same thing, “get over it.” “Ignore it.” “don’t let it bother you.” It’s just not that fucking easy!!! There is probably no point in my rant here other than to just share my feelings with you people because it appears that at least most of you understand my problem. Right when I thought I was alone…
I believe there is a post above that points to the idea that this could be a genetic thing. Oddly enough, my parents are not my biological parents, but my dad would get irritated by cracking gum and I remember my mom cracking her gum when I was very small. Because of this I used to think it was some psychological thing (don’t ask me what exactly), but gum is not my only noise sensitivity and my issues have definitely gotten worse as I’ve gotten older.
If anyone has approached their doctor on this and not been laughed at, please tell me how you did it!
As far as research goes, it would be interesting. Maybe someone with a background in OCD would be interested.
Matt…slurping coffee, you’re so right on this. Who knew working in an office would be this tormenting. How about the person who carries their snacks/lunch in a paper bag, crinkles the hell out of it while dragging their food out, then proceeds to eat loud crunchy snacks from a crinkly wrapper.
Stop the madness!!
\Hi RM- the way that i spoke to my doctor was that i kind of went around the houses so to speak and complained of other problems first ie feeling depressed, being fatigued. Eventually i said “and this is the other weird thing and i know you’ll laugh but i’ve developed a phobia of people chewing gum and its becoming out of control”. if you just refer to it as something a bit quirky it make sense to people. In fact, one of my co-workers who i have spoken to about my phobia calls it my “woody allenism”. cute, huh?all the best. x
oh yeah and darleen, i DEFINITELY think you should do the questionnaire idea- maybe we can find the answers we are all looking for if we poll our thoughts and feelings on the matter. x
I had mentioned getting a questionaire together and trying to do some kind of study on our problem with peoples rudeness in society. For right now, until my husband can help me figure out the best way to do this on the internet, I am going to ask a few questions. Anyone who wants to participate it will only help if we are all honest, of course with all the answers. If you are not comfortable with answering these questions in public, so to speak, then just think about them. I want to make clear that I am NOT a doctor or professional in any way, just a desperate individual in hopes of not having to live the rest of my life this way. I have had little success in finding people who have any compassion on me concerning this matter. Oh, yea my mom also suffers with this. I’m not sure if she has tried to hide it from me, since seeing how disturbed I am from it or if she really still has a hard time. She seems to try hard not to speak of it to me.
Maybe we can start our questions with our childhood.
I had a few experiences in my childhood that I blamed for many years. I will try to summerize them, but with all due respect to my mother whom I believe tries harder now that she’s older.
When I was about 9 or 10 years old I remember getting into the car with my twin sister, my mom told me to stop chewing my gum like that. Well being a child, I don’t think I even understood what she meant, I don’t remember if I just never listened or what, but evidentally I never changed what I was doing, because before I new what happened everything was black with only stars floating around in front of my eyes. I never went completely out but am pretty sure I was almost there. Anyways I believe being a child and not being able to coorinate this correctly in my mind, I was angry and dealt with it however it came to a 9 year old. After that I remember being even scared for my life at times, because I thought she hated me and wanted me dead. There’s more about my childhood. I never was sexually abused as a child that I remember. But there was a lot of anger in my dad and mom both. Even though I felt the bitter effects of their anger I truly yearned for their love. With my mom I still don’t feel like she cares too much for me. Nothing like a mother daughter relationship. I’m taking a chance on her maybe seeing this one day, but I have come to the point in my life that I have to bring everything out on the table in hopes of ever becoming normal and able to function in this society. Well I’ll leave you with that question for now, Think about your childhood, then if you want to make suggestions on what we need to address next, feel more than welcome. I just thank God that I have found you people. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts.
Until next time,
Darleen
I see more people have vented in the last several days. Great!
I like the idea of trying to find the ’source’ of the problem. I have been trying for years to figure out why I am this way. I will have to ponder that and post about it later with regard to my childhood.
As for the present, I see that many of you are made very angry by the offenders and label them as rude, malicious, etc. I have felt that way in the past and have even tried to find research regarding the bad effects of gum chewing, tried to figure out if an anti-gum law could be imposed, a gum tax… I just wanted it to stop.
However, in the past couple of years, I have tried very hard not to label the offenders as dumb, rude, etc. And I have given up on trying to find passive-aggressive ways to make the popping stop.
Instead, I am now concentrating on finding a way to stop the suffering. Whether through meds, or whatever I have to do.
I stopped concentrating on the offenders because it’s not going to change. People aren’t going to suddenly stop gum popping. Americans, unfortunately, love gum and the obnoxious noises it makes. Even intelligent people can be offenders. I often wonder how they can be taken seriously, but I try not to go there anymore. I’m concentrating on me and not the offenders anymore.
I’ve decided to talk with the offenders who are important in my life (such as my sister). I actually explained to her how I am feeling about the years of gum popping. I’m not sure how she is taking it or if she fully understands. I hope we will make progress. As for the other offenders, I’ll just have to let them be.
I think if we all band together, we can help each other with our problem. I have no idea how to approach my doctor about this. I have been on zoloft before for depression a few years back (it was situational depression and I am past that now). I didn’t notice any improvement with the gum popping.
In short, I will say that some of the nicest and smartest people I know snap and pop their gum. It was hard to even type that last sentence.
But I still wonder why the sounds made with chewing gum (slurping, smacking, chomping, popping) would be considered highly offensive if those same sounds were made while eating food at the dinner table. Outsiders will never understand us. I guess they would think I am weird, pretty much the same as I would I think somone who is afraid of balloons is weird. And if that person who couldn’t stand the sight of balloons asked me to get rid of my lovely balloon, I might tell them to take a hike (actually I wouldn’t because I would totally understand their ‘madness’ without totally understanding it…)….
I see more people have vented in the last several days. Great!
I like the idea of trying to find the ’source’ of the problem. I have been trying for years to figure out why I am this way. I will have to ponder that and post about it later with regard to my childhood.
As for the present, I see that many of you are made very angry by the offenders and label them as rude, malicious, etc. I have felt that way in the past and have even tried to find research regarding the bad effects of gum chewing, tried to figure out if an anti-gum law could be imposed, a gum tax… I just wanted it to stop.
However, in the past couple of years, I have tried very hard not to label the offenders as dumb, rude, etc. And I have given up on trying to find passive-aggressive ways to make the popping stop.
Instead, I am now concentrating on finding a way to stop the suffering. Whether through meds, or whatever I have to do.
I stopped concentrating on the offenders because it’s not going to change. People aren’t going to suddenly stop gum popping. Americans, unfortunately, love gum and the obnoxious noises it makes. Even intelligent people can be offenders. I often wonder how they can be taken seriously, but I try not to go there anymore. I’m concentrating on me and not the offenders anymore.
I’ve decided to talk with the offenders who are important in my life (such as my sister). I actually explained to her how I am feeling about the years of gum popping. I’m not sure how she is taking it or if she fully understands. I hope we will make progress. As for the other offenders, I’ll just have to let them be.
I think if we all band together, we can help each other with our problem. I have no idea how to approach my doctor about this. I have been on zoloft before for depression a few years back (it was situational depression and I am past that now). I didn’t notice any improvement with the gum popping.
In short, I will say that some of the nicest and smartest people I know snap and pop their gum. It was hard to even type that last sentence.
But I still wonder why the sounds made with chewing gum (slurping, smacking, chomping, popping) would be considered highly offensive if those same sounds were made while eating food at the dinner table. Outsiders will never understand us. I guess they would think I am weird, pretty much the same as I would I think somone who is afraid of balloons is weird. And if that person who couldn’t stand the sight of balloons asked me to get rid of my lovely balloon, I might tell them to take a hike (actually I wouldn’t because I would totally understand their ‘madness’ without totally understanding it…)….
Hi all!good on you t-girl for telling your sister!
It does seem there is a strong link between this phobia and our childhoods. I guess developing a phobia is, in a strange way, a method of coping/ “escaping” a stressful life so I think the fact it is actually chewing gum that is the problem is irrelevent. We could have developed a phobia about anything really.
Another thought- i noticed that most of you feel this phobia most accutely in the work place and was wondering if any of you are stressed out by your jobs- maybe that is something to consider- i certainly am stressed in mine.
Anyways, I started hypnotherapy today so i am going to give you all an update on how its going as the weeks go by so you dont all have to waste time and money on it if it doesnt work!
Also- does anyone cringe when they hear even the words, “chewing gum”? I do.
Love S xxx
I was surprised to see all of the posts when I checked this morning!
I think the reason I have the most problems at work is because the offenders are unavoidable. If I encounter someone in a store I can walk away. At work, if you’re in a meeting or in a cubical next to someone who is smacking away with their mouth open – you’re stuck.
Don’t the offenders wonder why teachers USED to punish you if you chewed gum? Do they think the teachers were just sadistic? Remember standing with gum on your nose up against the blackboard? (Oh, the good old days).
Eating noises bother me at the dinner table if they’re excessive, but people don’t usually chew food with their mouth open thus lessening or eliminating the smacking noise and there’s no popping. The thing that helps me cope at dinner when I’m bothered is knowing that it will end. People aren’t going to keep eating all night, whereas a co-worker will chew all day. People know not to chew food with their mouth open, so why do they think chewing gum with it open is acceptable?
I tend to think that this isn’t a “childhood trauma” thing but a chemical imbalance or an unfortunate genetic quirk causing sensitivity to particular noises. I’m at work and someone is crinkling a paper bag right now and it’s bugging me, but at least I know it won’t continue all day. Our society seems to really dig back and try to blame present things on the past or a bad childhood. I think it’d be interesting to survey not only our history, but physical characteristics. Wouldn’t it be strange if many of us had other measurable physical similarities?
I realize these people don’t think they’re being rude, however many if not most of them are old enough to remember the days when you’d get punished in school for having gum…what exactly do they think that was all about? And like I said before, if they know not to chew food with their mouth open why do they feel it’s ok for them to do so with gum. At work, there should be rules of office etiquette – I mean people aren’t running around the office belching loudly. What has happened to general good manners?
At this point I can’t accept that the people smacking away are “nice” people. I understand the illogic of this, but I just can’t do it.
Glad it’s almost the weekend. Thanks for all of the good posts!
RM, I know what you mean about the food noises. I have said exactly the same thing at least they’ll get through eating and be through. I’m not completely sold to the fact that my problem is due just to my childhood. I have pondered the points of a chemical imbalance or something. I’ve seemed to always have ear pressure, which I believe leads me to being aggitated more easily than other people. I definately believe that I have a super sense to some pitches of sound. Perhaps my mother has the same problem. I recently was finally diagnosed with allergies and have begun allergy shots each week, which have relieved my major midnight headaches that I had been having now for almost 2 years. During this 2 year span I would go to the doctor and tell them of my midnight headaches and my left ear pain that I thought was going to kill me. The doctor would look into my ear and say I don’t see anything wrong with your ear. It took me finally going in there crying before I could get any serious attention with this. I have suffered alot. Anyway, LOTS OF EAR PRESSURE.
My husband is presently trying to help me with a survey site. If and when we get it together, I will glady let you all know.
I wanted to share this experience with you. Wednesday I was just about to give up going to school. I truly cried to my husband. In one of my classes there’s this girl who makes medium pops throughout the entire class, every single day. Then only to go to the next class where I sat shoulder to shoulder with a cow muncher.(well a person has to get some kind of humor out of this) I was at my wits end. I have had negative experiences with approaching people concerning this matter. So I couldn’t bring myself to talk to them or the teachers. We have church on Thursday nights. I was so sunk into depression over this ignorance that I felt I had no choice but to ask the elders to pray for me. They annointed me with oil as it states in James chapter 5:14 & 15 to do. I went to school the next day, and when I went into the class the girl never even came. When I finished my test, I went outside and there she was lying on a bench as if she were sick. I then went to the next class (where I usually met cow muncher) She never came to class. I was amazed. Then when I saw her later in the lounge she told me that she had decided to drop the class. Wow!!! Makes me really wonder if someone there praying for me at church Thursday night had that faith it spoke of in that same scripture James chapter 5.
Sarah — I can’t wait to hear how the hypnotherapy goes. If it works for you, I’m going right behind you!
Darleen — I feel your pain. The thing I hate so much about our ’situation’ is all the work and stress and strain and grief that goes into dealing with it on a daily basis. I’ve been in your situation before and have been close to tears. I’ve even changed jobs — but that turned out to be a good move. But, still, the stress of going through all those changes — I just can’t keep living like that. I have concluded that people aren’t going to change, so I have to.
I did recently confront my sister. She was sympathetic, but now she won’t return phone calls, so maybe our relationship is over. She sent me a letter and it was filled with grief. I didn’t get the result I was aiming for and I think I have shattered her confidence because now she thinks I hate her or something, which I don’t.
t-girl
Pick a few of these peoples thoughts here and print them. Maybe she’ll love you enough to try to understand. Better run to school.
T-Girl- i honestly dont think your relationship with your sister is over. I am sure she is just freaked out-it is an odd thing to say to someone- isn’t it? Printing out some of these posts is a great idea. if she wont talk to you on the phone you could send them to her in the mail.
First session of hypnotherapy went well. My problem is that i dont really believe i can get rid of the phobia so i reckon thaqt is getting in the way a bit. Went out saturday night though to a party in a packed bar and had a great time plus went shopping in busy street all day so i guess that is a good sign as i havent done either for a while.
I would really liked to be “cured” from having gum popping/chewing/snapping bother me. It’s my problem and my reaction which is the same as all of yours (extreme frustration). Has anyone ever heard of hypnosis or something like that, that would allow us to not even pick up on it like it seems other folks can do? It obviously only affects only a smaller percentage of the human race. Other people aren’t even bothered or don’t seem to hear it. I want to be one of them!
Laurie,
I have been thinking the same thing lately. I want to be one of them. I want to be able to go to college and finish without having my nerves on end. I don’t know how you stand with going to church, but I had the elders annoint me with oil as it speaks of in the book of James, since then I have been much better. I do believe we have more sensitive sinces, which is going to mean we have to develop more tolorance than most people do. I know what your going through. I have been in places where I wanted to run as fast as I could out the door. And have left MANY places and MISSED many things over this. If changing me is possible, I want to change.
Finally – it’s taken a while, but I’ve found some people with the same problem! I’ve been irritated by noise longer than I care to remember. I hear what some say about it being hereditary, because both my mother and my sister suffer from the same problem. I invented excuses to eat separately from my parents when I was a child because I couldn’t stand the noise so much. My girlfriend gets increasingly frustrated with the problem and it’s time to do something about it.
Whilst I read many cases of what irritates people, I see little advice of what actually to do about it??
Does anyone have any advice / help??? I’m pulling my hair out in dispair sometimes, particularly with the gum chewer sitting next to me in my office!!!!
This is for Sarah — Do you have any updates on how your hypnotherapy is going? Please let us know. Thanks. I hope it is working.
hey T-girl- well it is early days yet so it is difficult to tell. My hypnotherapist has told me i should have patience and that these things can NEVER be cured over night contrary to what some of these internet ads with fast phobia cures tell us. I have definitely noticed that i dont think about it as much when i am not exposed to people chewing ie the night before knowing i have to get on the train for a long journey for example. I wanna see how it goes a bit more before i say its good or not.
How is it going with you t-Girl?
Thanks for the update, Sarah. Sounds like some progress has been made. I’m still holding out for the cure, and hopefully you are headed for it. As for me, things haven’t improved at all. I gathered the courage to let my sis know how i feel, she expressed some sympathy and concern, but now there is zero communication. I can’t take it back. We’ll see if time lessens the shock value of finding out that gum popping actually truly gets on someone’s nerves.
Sarah,
I am new to this board but follow a lot of postings having to do with reduced sound tolerance. I am having my son see a hypnotherapist because of his difficulty with eating noises of only his brother. By the way, search for the word “misophonia” on the internet and you will recognize your difficulties. My question is: would you mind giving a little detail on WHAT the hypnotherapist does for you? For my son, she gives him an “anchor”, such that when he makes a small movement with his hand, he becomes in control of his reactions and feelings. This helps somewhat and I have a whole treatment protocol for hhow to treat this very challenging problem, but am waiting until my son has made enough progress.
Good luck
Hi patty. Firstly, for me the sound of chewing gum is just one small part of my phobia so I wouldnt say that I had hyperacusis/ misophonia. i wish it were that simple- I’d just wear earplugs!It is a phobia with many levels, many of which are emotional and subconscious and probably due to past stresses etc. I would say that if your son has a phobia of only his brother’s eating noises that you should not discount the fact that it is a)so specific and b)that it may be less about noise phobia and more about any emotional issues he may have with his brother, however simple they may be. I am sure that your hypotherapist will have explained this to you. It is most likely that the root cause of his phobia is a stressful event ie for me it was working in a horrible job i really hated, rather than a gradual sensitivity to the noise. People dont become phobic about something without reason. A phobia is our mind’s way of protecting us from something which it perceives to be dangerous.For me, people chewing gum must be dangerous because it reminds me of that difficult time when i was under a lot of stress and a co-worker chewed gum constantly and loudly.Maybe your son’s hatred of his brother’s eating is an intolerance to his brother for some reason. Who knows why- it could even be a jealousy. I am guessing which is unfair and intrusive because i don’t know you or your family and i honestly do not want to offend you. I am not a doctor and i really dont know it all, else i would be cured by now but I do know plenty about phobias, as do all of the people who visit this page, because we live it every day.
Getting back to the question you asked though, I think the trigger response thing in hypnotherapy is ok but it didnt really help me. I found it be a bit gimmicky and the subconscious really isnt bright enough to do gimmicks. My hypnotherapist at the moment is great because she prescribes to that viewpoint and for this reason she is desensitising me under hypnosis by “tricking” my subconscious to get used to the situations and words of which I am most scared, such as “chewing”. Above all, she tapes every session and asks that I listen to it every day which is a fantastic way to drum the suggestions home. I really do believe that we are making some headway together.
Two things two consider: there are no fast cures, not every therapist will be right for your son.
Please write back as i would be interested to know what you mean by having a treatment protocol for your son. Also, just to let you know that as he is so young, he may well grow out of it naturally. It is soooo much easier for kids to get out of phobias. When i was seven I was terrified of dogs and yet i absolutely love them now. Bad comparison i know, but you get my drift.
All the best
Sarah. xxx
Sarah,
Thank you so much for your information and for your thoughts on the origins of phobias and aversions. As for phobia vs. misophonia, one big differentiation is whether someone experiences fear vs. anger and the over-riding urge to get the person to just stop what they’re doing, either by running away or whacking them! Maybe after a while, if the aversion is so strong, then one could become panicy when anticipating the situation. But I have read many, many descriptions now and what I notice is how often individuals describe rage, anger, and intolerance (not fear) to the aversive sound which is often bodily noises but not always. But if you have a phobia and other phobic reactions, then cognitive behavior therapy is THE way to go.
I certainly agree about the psychogenic nature of my son’s aversion to his brother’s eating. We have been working on this for four years now! (Granted, for the first two we were in the dark about the nature of the problem) We have made wonderful progress by addressing the problems between them, which mostly involved teaching the older son to be more assertive with the younger son. A whole family approach had to be undertaken, with the goal of
helping my older son feel more in control of his life, plus directly treating depression and anxiety (again, CBT (cognitive-behavior therapy) is the way to go, way to go, way to go.) My older sister (who has OCD) had the eating aversion thing her whole life and finally got rid of it (mostly) after finally getting CBT for her OCD. The formula she and I have some up with is “DDM”–Drain the sound of meaning, Distract yourself by shifting your attentional focus, and Monitor these internal behaviors while you’re exposed to the aversive noise. Of course, this is all much more easily said than done.But she has done it, and I’ve read about others doing it too (see some postings on boards about hyperacusis) Apart from that my “protocol” is very far-reaching, and includes first having yourself checked in terms of audiologic function (there’s a lot more to examine than just how well you hear; you have to find an audiologist specially trained in tinnitus, hyperacusis, and balance) then addressing over-arching psychological issues such as anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. This is not to say one would have them all, but I think sometimes the sound/concept aversion is part of a larger problem. Then understanding if you have a number of sensory hypersensitivities (“sensory integration disorder”) and doing what you can about that, and then understanding how the problem may have started (helps with cognitive restructuring) and what role this problem may play in your life currently. Finally, perhaps working with therapists who work with imagery, EMDR, or hypnosis to help “Drain” that meaning from the sounds you hate so much. This last thing is what we are on now. Some audiologists have a protocol where they very gradually desensitize you to the noise, some have you listen to pleasant music at the same time, and we are using White Noise generators, an in-the-ear device that you turn up until you can just barely hear the irritating noise. Then you gradually get used to horrible noise and turn the White Noise Generators down bit by bit as your brain learns to tolerate the aversive noise. Lord knows this does not happen quickly, but I am only getting to understand it more fully now. Sorry this is so long but that’s my insight in a nutshell and again I appreciate you sharing your experience.
Please continue to let us know how the hypnosis is going–and consider finding a top-notch cognitive behavior therapist too.
Keep searching and stay hopeful,
Patty
Hi, my name is Dave. I’m 22 and I have been suffering from this problem almost ever since I can remember. As just a kid, my whole family knew about it and they knew that I totally couldn’t stand to be put into those kind of situations. They used to call it “my chewing problem.”
But everytime I got upset about it, absolutely nobody could be understanding about it. And now whenever my dad can tell that I’m getting irritated by it (my dad is one of the worlds loudest chewers) he always tries to make me feel immature about it, as if that should help me out.
Pretty much what he would say is “how old are you now?” Like I should have grown out of it or something. He would even try embarrasment tactics like announcing my problem when I had friends over at the house, and so forth.
Nobody has understood my problem fully, I don’t think. And I have been suffering from it probably, nearly since kindergarten.
The loud chewing… the crunching… it even bothers me to listen to people talk with their mouths full, even if they aren’t chewing it. And I can always tell when people do have food in their mouth, because my ears pick up on the slightest changes in the way their voices sound when they have food in their mouth, and they’re talking.
I’ve flipped out on my family as well as my friends. I would sometimes even get mildly violent with siblings when I was younger, and I was always known as “the good natured kid” (aside from this problem). And I once threatned a friend whom I was giving a ride home from downtown to, that if he didn’t dispose of his gum, I would leave him stranded on the side of the freeway.
I’ve never quite snapped as an adult, but sometimes I think I’ve come really close.
And I’ve never fully figured out a way to come to gripps with my problem aside from just shunning people when they’re eating.
Hi Dave. Just in the short time since I’ve found out about this board, I feel like I understand ‘our’ problem so much. Most of us here understand what you are going through.
Rest assured, you are not mental. The reading and research I have done lately all point to misophonia. But as for treatment, I have no idea. I think in my case, it is misophonia that has developed into a phonophobia when I know I am going to be in those stressful situations with gum poppers, etc.
Don’t give up just because no one understands. My family just ignores me or acts like I am being immature. I am just relieved to know that I am not crazy, there is a name for my condition, and maybe one day there will be effective treatment. Until then, I am hoping to hear more about the hypnotherapy, and may also check into getting a sound masking device to put inside my ear. I am tired of living like this.
I am feeling extra stressed out now because my work situation is about to change and I’m move to a new workspace at my job. Right now I am finally away from all the gum poppers and work has been very pleasant. But now I fear working around poppers again. I’m trying not to dwell on that too much.
If you think the gum chewing is bad, try listening to sucking noises! The guy in the cube next to me makes sucking sounds while chewing tobacco! The way our desks are set up, we face each other with just the cube wall between us! While in my cube one day, he made the sound and I commented, “Oh that’s what the sound is. I thought your mouse was squeaking.” He didn’t say anything and it still goes on! I guess he figures since I know what it is, it is OK to make the sound!
I had thought my intollerance was due to being taught that gum popping and mouth noises were RUDE. I was never allowed to make disgusting noises and I expect others to do the same. Now, I’m wondering if my Dad suffered the same noise problem. He died 30 years ago so I can’t ask. My sister has the same problem which led me to believe it was the up-bringing. I have slept with a fan running to drown out breathing noises since I was a child and quit a job once because my co-worker cracked her gum. I move around in movie theatres to avoid the popcorn chompers. When I could no longer tolerate my husband’s snoring (after years of fans and ear plugs) and was told it was “My Problem”, I moved to a different bedroom and have been there for the past 18 years. You can rightly imagine the condition of my marriage..ha I found this board while searching for a way to tell the newly hired co-worker that her gum is driving me NUTS! I’m in a job that requires concentration and I CAN’T CONCENTRATE. I’m considering quiting work again but at my age.. 50…starting a new job isn’t very appealing…although it’s a better alternative to the all consuming cracking noise in my brain!! I asked another co-worker if the new girls gum bothered her. She asked “what gum?” I’m considering approaching the gum cracker with “I have a problem, can you help me” rather than “You’re a rude, disgusting jerk”…maybe that would work?
Sheila,
I’m just glad to know that I am not as abnormal as I have thought in the past 30 years. Before I found this board I just thought that I was an abnormal idiot. That’s because of the way I have been treated just about everytime that I have chose to confront the popper. You said something that stands out to me not only because of the All Caps, but I have recently got the nerve to go back to school. There’s a girl in my math class that chooses to crack her gum throughout the entire class on many days. I just cannot CONCENTRATE! You said the same thing. There’s is something about our concentration or hearing abilities or something. I have such pressure on my ears most of the time and I wonder if anyone else here has this pressure that I have or maybe you have lived with it all your life and are so used to it that you’ve not realized. I don’t know. I’m just searching for clues at how to get over the feelings that I have each time that I hear this sound. It’s not that I thing the person is doing it to me. It is simply that I cannot focus on the matter at hand with ANY constant repetitive sounds, although I would prefer to listen to the loud sound of a weedeater on the outside of the open window than to have to hear someone crack their gum throughout whatever I’m doing.
To all who are interested in relief from this reduced noise tolerance—- after three years of various treatment approaches (for my teenaged son who cannot tolerate the sound of his brother’s eating, chewing,or sniffing), we are finally making noticable progress with HYPNOSIS. This subject has been brought up earlier, by Sarah. But the hypnosis alone is not sufficient. We have spent lots of time on emotional issues in the family–the one that helped with the chewing issue the most directly was increasing my son’s ability to be assertive with his younger brother and not feel pushed around and dominated by him. My teenaged son also has extra sensitive hearing, uses a white noise maker to go to sleep, etc., and we worked with an audiologist at a Tinnitus and Hyperacusis clinic to reduce his hyperacusis (with White Noise Generators, and in-the-ear device). Next, an extremely important feature was working over a couple of years with a good cognitive-behavior therapist to have my son learn ways of getting his emotions and reactions under control. There are about 5 or 6 major techniques one has to learn so that they are not COMPELLED to attend to the distressing noise. Finally, with this as a backdrop, the hypnosis works by first providing a cued “anchor” for bringing on a calm feeling. My son has learned to make a small hand movement at any time and this calm feeling will come to him. THen, while in a trance, the hypnotist uses neurolinguistic programming therapy, an imagery-based technique that is powerful in changing the thought and feeling “picture” associated with any given event.Then, of course, my son has to practice his techniques when in the sound-distressful situation. We are at the point where he is no longer blowing up and stomping out of the room, his relationship with his brother is vastly improved, and he can tolerate the noises in many, but not yet all, circumstances. I’m thinking of writing up an article or book on this journey. How many people do you think would be interested in it?
I am a nurse and I work 12-hr shifts at night. There are nurses here who can pop gum for 12 solid hours. You’d think their jaws would get tired! I think it is a rude and disgusting habit. I was told one by someone that I don’t have enough “filters”, and I think they were right. I wish I did. This makes me nuts. I wrote Dear Abby about it once and her reply? “You need to find out why you’re so angry”. Indeed.
!
To patty-o,
I think it would help greatly if you could write an article on what you have experienced. I have tried researching this problem and find very little information covering anything other than acute hearing problems. At least if you could write a summary for posting to those on this forum, it would help alot of us! I, for one, would most definitely be interested!
Jon.
Here I am at work and every nerve in my body is on edge because sitting across the room is a thoughtless, inconsiderate, irritating boob popping her gum like the cow muncher she is. I am so glad that I found this website. I can’t believe this annoying habit bothers others as badly as it bothers me. Although, I have had time to read only a few of the posts, I feel so badly for everyone. Why is this quircky, annoying inconsideration of others so tormenting? I have to get back to work but I want to read each and every one of these posts. Thank you!!!!
I am so glad I’m not alone and I will write more later.
I have thought of bringing a small blackboard to work and (accidently) running my fingernails over it in defense.
Take care, Deb
Right now I am considering having myself institutionalized for this problem. I feel I have no choice considering that only about a few hours ago I had one of the biggest breakdowns ever. My head still hurts from where I was hitting myself in response to the insanity brought on by the people I refer to as being rude,malicious, etc. Has anybody else on here ever been institutionalized for this problem? I currently feel it’s the only way to save myself.
To Dwayne, You don’t have to be institutionalized but we all know how those breakdowns can occur. It is important for you to find a good therapist right away. One who can use behavior therapy and cognitive-behavior therapy to help you in many ways. The first will be to work hard and fast to reduce your general level of anxiety and stress. To be calmer overall will keep you from being so vulnerable to the sound aversions. Then find techniques that help you reframe the noises and distract yourself so that you are not listening harder and harder to them. There is a book on Tinnitus by two psychologists that have written-up protocols for how to learn to refocus on what sounds are available to listen to.
If you have general problems with being hypersensitive and easily upset, and your life is being run by this problem, then a therapist can perhaps help you find medication as well. Then look on websites about hyperacusis and misophonia and phonophobia until you read something that sounds helpful. there are lots of ways to approach this problem, each one helping somewhat but when put together eventually helping a lot. Please don’t despair and
try some outpatient therapy but with a behaviorally oriented practioner. Good luck.
I also have a coworker cracking her gum all the time. I want to find a polite way to ask her to stop. Maybe say, “I have a pet peeve about gum cracking. It is like nails on the chalkboard to me and it drives me nuts and distracts me from my work. Would you mind stopping?” Or, even simpler, “Would you mind not cracking your gum?” Simple, and to the point. What do you all think?
To all:
This board has been great to see others suffer from these exact same problems. Of course, I am not happy that you folks have to suffer too! I find it interesting that it is the same group of sounds listed here consistently: chewing, nose noises (sniffing, breathing), and keyboard typing. These all bother me as well and have affected relationships and my work environment.
I think one thing that can help is to just keep everyone who suffers from this in your prayers. Several thousand of us praying for each other is a great start! That can’t hurt at all!
Also, Patty-o, I think the idea of an article would be great and if you have time, could be very very useful. Your posts are the most helpful on this board because of your proactive advice. Putting it all together in an article would really really be great. You have had a ton of experience with this matter and an article like this could set people in the right direction and help avoid unproductive doctor visits and other unproductive alteratives. Let us know if you have anything put together and thanks for all the helpful posts so far! I really appreciate it as I finally will try to start dealing with this.
Good luck everyone. Hang in there and know you aren’t alone.
Thank god I’m not the only person in the world with a gum chewing phobia. I changed jobs because of it and am aiming to set myself up in a home based business to minimise exposure in the future.
Some say people like us should get therapy.
WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What’s next? Therapy to desensitise ourselves to people picking their noses? Don’t stand for it.
Peace, good health and prosperity to you all.
My grandfather (and subsequently the rest of my family) always quoted the following on the topic of gum:
“A gum-chewing maid and a cud-chewing cow;
Are quite the same, yet different somehow;
What’s the difference? Oh, I have it now;
It’s the intelligent look on the face of the cow.
I found this page while looking for suggestions on office etiquette. I close my office door, but can still hear the woman across the hall with her popping! And today, I don’t have earplugs or headphones.
I think the proper thing to do is to ask HR for anonymous assistance, but I don’t want them to think I’m whiny and cannot get along with others, as I only started this job four months ago.
Aaargh!
I don’t even know where to start. I have spent years trying to understand why I am so easily agitated and high strung when I feel like I am calm in nature. Why I am literally afraid (though I never realized it for fear until now) of going to the movies or even going into my bedroom and sleeping with my husband. Why I feel nauseated, chilled, dizzy and over run with anger when other peoples noises disturb me. Chewing, popping, smacking, slurping, all sorts of noises fit under my irritation level and most of them are not directly related to food or eating. I have problems with almost any noise another person makes that seems to be infringing on my personal experience of the world. I have spent so much time assuming that my responses were natural to such inconsideracies and that most people really didn’t like the man in the far right cubicle that clears his throat every 30 seconds for the entire day. I am starting to realize for the very first time that I really do have a problem beyond just not having enough “filters” or having better hearing that others.
I am filled with despair and hope all at the same time after reading every single one of these posts (thank you to all), because all I ever felt before was rage and despair. The one thing that continues to run in my head is this: What can I do to help myself? I am a college student with not enough money to rent a house so that I don’t have to deal with apartment living, let alone enough money for health insurance. What hope can I have of making some progress and what should I spend more of my time trying to work towards-working hard enough to be able to afford a house so that at least my home is a sanctuary even if the rest of the world is filled with distractions, or try and get insurance so that I can get diagnosed and treated first? I know treatment should be my first course of action, but I am to the point where I am afraid to sleep in my bedroom because I know that I will have to hear the neighbor who flips me off when I ask her to please not run the washing machine at midnight.
I apologize sincerely for this insane ramble…I just feel so tired and lost right now that it is hard to not want to spill years of frustration out all at once. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU everyone for being here to let me voice this. I feel secure about one thing now at least, I am not crazy and I am not alone.
I found this page while trying to find how many people were annoyed by this. Right now I’m sitting in a computer lab at my college. This girl sitting about 20 feet away is driving me insane. It’s so annoying. I had to put my earbuds in and hope that my batteries didn’t die before I finished doing my “homework”. Don’t they know how annoying that is??? The other day I was in class sitting right by this girl. She smacked gum with her mouth open the whole lecture. OVER ONE HOUR! The next class, I switched seats.
I found this page while trying to find how many people were annoyed by this. Right now I’m sitting in a computer lab at my college. This girl sitting about 20 feet away is driving me insane. It’s so annoying. I had to put my earbuds in and hope that my batteries didn’t die before I finished doing my “homework”. Don’t they know how annoying that is??? The other day I was in class sitting right by this girl. She smacked gum with her mouth open the whole lecture. OVER ONE HOUR! The next class, I switched seats.
I found this page while trying to find how many people were annoyed by this. Right now I’m sitting in a computer lab at my college. This girl sitting about 20 feet away is driving me insane. It’s so annoying. I had to put my earbuds in and hope that my batteries didn’t die before I finished doing my “homework”. Don’t they know how annoying that is??? The other day I was in class sitting right by this girl. She smacked gum with her mouth open the whole lecture. OVER ONE HOUR! The next class, I switched seats.
I found this page while trying to find how many people were annoyed by this. Right now I’m sitting in a computer lab at my college. This girl sitting about 20 feet away is driving me insane. It’s so annoying. I had to put my earbuds in and hope that my batteries didn’t die before I finished doing my “homework”. Don’t they know how annoying that is??? The other day I was in class sitting right by this girl. She smacked gum with her mouth open the whole lecture. OVER ONE HOUR! The next class, I switched seats.
I read a ton of articles about this gum
chewing and other annoying crap going
on at work.
There’s nothing wrong with YOU for being
annoyed – we are surrounded by pigs and
idiots, and I’ve seen some people make
noise on purpose. I’m not gonna cite
my history with dealing with slurping,
smacking, chomping morons, I will not
work with them. I’ve had some removed,
or removed myself. I certainly will
never visit a movie theater again – I
have my own at home.
Currently, the talking in my office area
is obnoxious and on purpose. The guy
thinks he is UTMOST IMPORTANT. He is
an idiot, and if/when I decide to leave,
if they don’t remove him, I will tell
my boss why. I left Lockheed because
of a tea sucking scumbag, and talking
fools who did nothing all day but shoot
the breeze.
I’m a Software Engineer and a Trainer.
I must think to produce. I will not
share an office area with idiots and
pigs.
You are fine. You don’t need headphones
or a visit to a Dr. Have the person
removed or leave. You are smart, they
are dumb.
Chris LaVenture
claventure@yahoo.com
I love this board!!!! My daughter thinks I’m crazy when I look at her with my “look”. She knows I can hear her mouth noises, and the sad part is that she tries really, really hard to be quiet. I can see her chewing very slowly to try to minimize the noise! But I can still hear it! AHHHHHH! My family laughs at me, my husband gets annoyed. But alas! I am not alone.
I was at a PTO meeting last night, and this 40-50 year old man was chewing, and chomping, and twisting and smacking his gum, and I could feel myself becoming enraged. Doesn’t he know how rediculous he looks?? Don’t these people know???
Obsessive/Compulsive … hmmmmmmmm. Definitely should not be ruled out. I wonder if my insurance will cover therapy for a low tolerance to mouth noises. It is embarassing, I am ashamed … Basically I really didn’t have to write anything because I read each and every post in awe … This is me. I am you. You are me. I was there in the movie theater, I was there at the office in my cubicle, I was there at the dinner table, in class … I have been everywhere and have experienced beyond the lack of concentration … I have experienced feeling the need to punch someone in the face.
Thank you all. Thank you thank you thank you.
Peace and love (I hope) – Jessica
WOW. I can’t believe people are still posting after 2 years. I confronted someone on the NYC subway of all places just yesterday. And to top it off, it seemed to have become a racist issue, because the popper in question was black, I am white, and a guy across the aisle who was also black took her side. However, I had noticed he was observing her and I think silently thinking, “how gross”. Didn’t matter. I turned to the lady and said, “would you mind chewing more quietly?” She looked terribly offended and told me I was out of line. My heart rate went up a little bit, and I said, “it’s rude!” She told me she hadn’t said anything about my peanuts, which I had been munching on with my mouth closed, and I said, looking back at my paper, “I doubt if you heard it”. I stopped talking and read my paper for a while and her chewing seemed to abate a LITTLE. We went at it again and I said it was NO BIG DEAL (that was the wrong move). But the guy across the aisle began making derogatory remarks and the two of them laughed, and when he got off he said something about my face, insinuating that it was hideous (when it’s not, it’s quite a lovely face) and wished her a good weekend most pleasantly. Well that REEEALLLLY got me.My blood pressure rose. At some point she had said that she was sitting there and I could just move. After silence, I turned to her (I was ready to admit defeat, only because I had made my point, my defense had been shot at, and I also thought it would be better to make peace.) and I said, you know…pause pause… she looked at me like I was crazy…. you may have a point. I could have moved. Have a nice weekend!
then I got up to leisurely put on my gloves and get ready to get off at the next stop. I could see her reflection in the door window. She wasn’t looking at me. I just hope that at least I made her aware of her grossness. But now having read all these blogs I wish I’d stuck to my guns!!!! I’ve been thinking about it all night. Point in my defense: the NYC subway system and cross-racial conversations and NOT the easiest things to negotiate.
I once had a vacation student work for me for eight weeks at work. On our first day together I tackfully mentioned that I had a g** c*****g problem (I am loath even to WRITE the expression). She agreed that it was disgusting and that it should be banned.
MY RELEIF!!!!
Was short lived because she then admitted that she was ADDICTED TO THE STUFF (you can’t win, can you?). She said that if she made any noise that I should point it out and ask her to stop. I told her that this was NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I had been so traumatised by my six months of hell at my last (temporary) job that even the SUSPICION that someone was c*****g g** had become enraging to me (so much for exposure therapy or whatever it’s called). So I put my foot down and said that when we were working together in the same lab/office SHE CHEWED NOTHING. She reluctantly agreed to this arrangement, on condition that I did not click my finger joints.
Shortly after she left I went to a wedding and found out that not only did all these relatives I hadn’t seen in 10-20 years c***** g** but closer ones had suddenly started doing it as well.
AM I IN THE BLOODY TWILIGHT ZONE OR WHAT?!!!!!!!!! (der der der der der der der der…funny man in suit comes out of elevator and says: “you’re in another dimension…a dimension of sound…a dimension of mind…” etc etc).
My life is completely f****d. GET ME OFF THIS STUPID PLANET.
Sorry for the rambling rant, but I am not in the best state of mind at the present time.
Peace, good health and prosperity to you all.
I received the Yes answer to my question regarding gum sounds. I hope this helps. Please visit my web link at the bottom.
Willaim Jackson wrote:
Dr. William Jackson
Chiropractor
State-Certified Humane Officer, Cruelty Investigator
445 Madison St. , Suite E, – Waukesha , WI 53188
petyellowpages@yahoo.com
drjackson@inet-web.com
The Hyperacusis Network
Attention: Dan Malcore
444 Edgewood Drive
Green Bay, Wisconsin 54302
Email: hyacusis@netnet.net
QUESTION:
Can Hyperacusis be trauma induced as in my recent history?
HISTORY:
On 08-02-03, I was rear-ended by a Semi-Truck and injured. At the time of impact, my car was stopped facing south, my head was in left rotation and bent backward about 60%, looking left and upward, in an effort to determine if I needed to pull down my sun visor as I was about to turn toward a low level Sun in the a.m. Clearly, this biomechanical state would have been adversely exaggerated by the whiplash-like loads of combined shear, bending, and compression. The results provide a mechanical basis for injury caused by whiplash loading.
Subsequent to this injury, the diagnosis of Cervical Facet Syndrome was made. I have noticed that “normal” noise is becoming traumatic. I type in a computer lab using ear plugs, rifel range type ears cover as well and things like gum noises cause me extreme emotional stress spikes.
Dr. Jackson
http://www.geocities.com/pleaseactkindly2us2004/Dr.J.Resume.htm
I have not been to this board in a while but thought I would visit again as I’ve discovered yet another noise that “bugs” me. In addition to my “pet peeve” of gum chewers and smackers, loud eaters, sucking noises, perpetual throat clearers and pounding basketballs, I have yet another. Keyboards and mouse clicking. Our office has just been rearranged and I can now hear a woman type and click that I never used to. I think she clicks her mouse about 120 times a minute…leading me to wonder what on Earth… Thank heavens for headphones, unfortunately, you can’t keep them on 24 hours a day. I’m starting to think we need our own community – wouldn’t it be great to work in an office where gum was never even considered (just go brush your teeth for goodness sakes) and world with no smacking, no suckers, no hard candy, people who don’t pound on their keyboards. Utopia…
I had to post another message.
I keep reading more and more about you people suffering at the hands of pigs. Some of you are indicating that YOU have a problem (psychological or physical or both). I’m telling you that you do not have the problem. It comes down to lack of manners. Do not tolerate people without manners. Here’s an example. This just happened:
My mentally deformed “cubemate” just came in, farted loudly 3 times, yelled over the phone for two hours, and left for his adventures throughout the building. My boss is going to be looking for work from me that should have been done this week. I’m going to tell him why I have very little done and request a transfer to another work area with the “Intelligent”. He knows my capabilities, because he’s seen my track record and my work. He is also very intelligent, cordial, hard working, and has manners. He will probably move me when I request, as I cannot control my output otherwise. Ideally, he should move the pig, because the rest of the people here are very polite and work hard, too.
She cracks her gum almost every afternoon. Her office (with an open door) is directly across from my cubicle (without a door at all.) She is new here. Everyone else laughs at my misery…they can’t hear her, or if they do, it’s only occasionally when they walk past. I never want to say anything when she’s being normal, but when she starts cracking, I envision the satisfaction of choking her to death while simultaneously snapping her neck… so I won’t bring it up after lunch.
I’m extremely annoyed that this person’s disgusting habit has become my problem to deal with, but I will deal with it just as we all must deal with telemarketers, unwanted perfume smells, and all the rest of the crap that obnoxious people donate to the world without respect for others.
I thought my sister and I were the only ones with gum chewing intolerance until I came upon this site. Gum chewing has driven me nuts for years. I haven’t been to the movies in years, the gum chewing, lollipop smacking and popcorn poping is dreadful. How about airplanes? I have thought of jumping off the plane! Now I don’t fly without my peronal CD player.
To make matters worse, I have passed my phobia to my daughters.They are both in college now, one is in medical school, and they have a terrible time concentrating on their exams whenever a “pig” is sitting next to them. They have asked the offender to please stop and even the professor for help, but to no avail. In high school gum chewing was prohibited, who dosen’t remember writing 100 times: I will not chew gum in class, if caught in the act. Why is this etiquete abondoned in college where tomorows profesionals are brewing?
Please, if somebody been able to deal with this problem, let me know how you handled it.
Thank you to all of you – it is a great relief to know ” I am not alone” as they say. My partner chews incessantly – it is not so much the noise as the continual jaw movement. I summed up courage to point out to him how infuriating and mid-blowing his constant fast chomping is, only to be told to “grow up!”
I have not enjoyed a trip to the theatre, cinema or concert for many many years as I can see him chewing like it was going out of fashion. It does not matter where I sit there is this contact movement – up and down chomp chomp chomp – I want to scream! Well ’nuff said – I dont go to the theatre with him any more. Thanks again for giving me someone to “tell”, pity he will not listen.
Greetings fellow anti-gum comrades,
Having sent two irate rants about gum chewing I feel I should contribute something a little more positive and helpful. I had always had a problem with people eating and chewing with their mouths open; gum was no exception but neither was it a special case either. In February 1997 I was made redundant from my job. After four months I finally got a temporary job with the Ministry of Defence, which had the possibility of becoming a permanent position (Americans note: defence is spelt with a ‘c’ in my country, just in case you didn’t know). After one week I discovered to my horror that I was to be working with several open mouth gum chewers. Within six months I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. After Christmas I took a leave of absence of two weeks, sitting alone in my flat staring into space and periodically screaming. On my return I finally confronted one of my superiors and told him about the problem, who told me to speak to my resource manager.
On telling him how I felt I was surprised, and relieved, to hear him say that he had the same problem. Arrangements were made for me to work alone with my own lab and office for most of the time.
The thing is this: I’m not sure why I didn’t tell anyone of my predicament earlier – I suppose it was the feeling that it was me that was at fault and of the consequences of complaining. However had I taken action sooner the problem might have been solved before my phobia was aggravated by six months of exposure. Before I was merely bothered by the sound of the offending activity. Now I am permanently adverse to the sight, smell and suspicion of it as well.
The moral is this: When in this situation at work, TALK TO SOMEBODY AND TALK SOON. This might not work so well in normal life outside the office – for all the sleaze of office life at least these days there is generally some form of diplomacy.
Peace, good health and prosperity to you all.
Luckily, my gum chewing offender has stopped for the time being. She had some dental problems and never seemed to pick it back up, but I’m waiting..every day watching for it to start back up. When she did do it I mentioned it to our boss and told him how distracting and irritating I found it. All he said was “Oh, I noticed that too.” But it didn’t really bother him or anyone else for that matter. He just thinks I’m an extremely irriatable person and I have to say he’s not far off.
Here’s my question to you, does anyone have a similar problem with the mouse clicks? While the gum chewer has ceased and I’m more grateful than anyone can imagine. I’m now in a position to hear every click of a co-workers mouse. And let me tell you, she clicks clicks clicks a lot, fast and erratic. Sometimes she clicks almost every second or more and I’m not exaggerating. She uses a laptop with external mouse, I which she’d use the “mouse” keys on the keyboard, I think their sound would be less penetrating. I cannot possibly tell her that I’m bothered by mouse clicking…I’d sound like a complete lunatic. Using headphones, radio, cd player but can’t keep them on ALL of the time.
The more comments I read on this board, the more I am longing for a cure for what ails us. It’s getting ridiculous and I’m ready for some relief.
I just moved to a new cubicle at work. I used to be off to myself and it was lovely. But now I am between two females who smack hard candy all day, or eat munchy snacks all day. It’s the smacking that bugs me, really. Oh, and they chomp/slurp/smack their gum too. They consider themselves to be the classy type too. But for me, I find this unclassy behavior. I know my hypersensitivity to the noises plays into my negative perception though.
Where’s the cure. This is driving me insane.
i think it is annoying habbit and i go 2 school and lots of kids do it 2 piss off the teacher the sly ones get away with smack smack smack i can point them out how come the retarded teachers cant man i want 2 smack smack smack the kids that do it ehhhhhhhh ~shelly~
I work with a guy who snorts like a pig and hacks like a cat with a furball CONSTANTLY. He has asthma. And I know his “noises” are the result of a medical condition, but they are literally driving me insane. To make matters worse, he even does it when he’s talking to me, or talking on the phone to other people.
I approached our HR rep and asked her to broach the subject with him, but she just turned it back on me. It’s one thing to tell someone that their gum-chewing is annoying. But it’s another thing entirely when the offender has a health issue. Then I went to my supervisor, who promised to talk to the guy, but it’s been a few months now and he hasn’t done a thing.
One of my other coworkers actually said something to the guy the other day, but all the offender could say way “I can’t help it. It’s an involuntary reaction.”
I’m one of the lucky few who actually has her own office, with a door that closes and everything. But since his cubical is right across from my door, I can hear his disgusting noises even with the door shut.
AAAAAHHHHH! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
P.S. He clips his nails in his cubicle, too!
OH what joy to read all of this. I hate mouth noises. I hate gum-popping/smacking. It is foul and so ghetto and slovenly. Maybe it is OCD on our parts but what happened to good manners? Just remember that at the end of the day, the real players in life do not chew gum. Does anyone remember a picture of Princess Diana or Jackie O chewing gum? The sound, the look, the horror. I will continue to get off trains if someone is chewing behind me. I will continue to look at my boss, who thinks she’s God’s gift to art directors and “taste” and yet chews her gum like a cow in heat. Nobody seems to know what class is anymore. Here’s to all of the gum-phobics who realize what a gross habit it is. I’d rather smell anyone’s bad breath any day than be subjected to that nauseating fake smackin’ smell and the selfish little bubbles and pops. So gross.
This is too cool. I have hated chewing sounds my entire life and I passionately despise the shlurping, shlomping, cracking, snackling, popping and snapping of GUM chewers most of all! So many of you have expressed my EXACT same feelings on this subject! It is such a comfort to see how many of us have the same feelings on this subject! We should get a petition going or something.
I have never had a positive experience confronting a gum chewer. I have tried politely asking them if they could tone it down, I have also tried a more blunt approach and on each occasion the chewer just shlomped and schmacked even louder and told me to get over it!
I’ve considered that I am too sensitive to the sounds of people eating, and I believe that I am and it is something I struggle with daily.
However I also think there is a problem with people who seem to think the world is interested in hearing their continual, mindless masticating!
For example, a fun trip to the mall is ruined when a gum-smacker has to CRACK their gum with a thunderous sound that echoes throughout the mall. A movie is ruined when a gum smacker sits next to me and continually cracks and pops her gum against her teeth throughout the movie. Or worse yet – the movie goes into an EATING scene featuring SURROUND-SOUND! GROSS!
At work I am convinced that Swamp Thing inhabits the next cubicle because the of constant squishing and squashing sounds which emanate from her area.
And why is it that gum chewers have to chomp on their wad for hours upon hours on end? If they could maybe have a ten minute gum-break it would be tolerable – but most gum-chewers I’ve known have to chew every waking hour.
There is no escape and some days I think I will go crazy. I crank my headphones so loud I am starting to suffer hearing loss, and even then it isn’t loud enough to drown out the continual shlurping and shlomping of Swamp Thing. Sometimes I go to the restroom just to get away, and I find myself making sure to time my breaks at different times than hers so that I can enjoy a few gum-free minutes while she is away from her desk.
Anyway, I could blather on and on but I am just comforted to read so many posts from others who have the same feelings on this subject.
If only we all worked together we could have a gum-free environment!
Deb
oh my god.i love all of you. i identify with absolutely everything. i am up late reading this b/c i can’t sleep again – i hear the hubby’s snoring/snorting/gagging sounds thru my earplugs, over the fan… had to crank up the volume on the tv to 10 tonight just to get thru dinner. the thing that gets me most at work is the “heavy typers” – you know, the ones who sound like they are putting their fingers thru the keyboard?, but the popcorn-snackers come in a close second. i used to take zoloft, celexa, paxil, prozac for minor OCD/depression, but i never noticed it helping with the sounds. i think it just made me less likely to be violently angry at the offendees. so, what exactly is this thing called that we all have? and why don’t doctors seem to know about it?
I’ve been following this list since the beginning and have shown it to many people now. I’ve had hypersensitivity to sound, mostly chewing & eating related, for almost my entire life. I just found a Livejournal community called Sense Defence which seems to deal with some of these same issues.
http://www.livejournal.com/community/sensedefence/ in case you are interested in joining.
Also, I would totally vote for a gum-free nation, or even state.
Yeah I am on Paxil right now for anxiety, and it has helped in a lot of ways – but it doesn’t do a thing to help my sensitivity to sound.
Gah! I was trapped on the bus today with a gum-chomping driver who had to crack his gum the entire half hour ride home. At first I thought the bus was making the odd creaking and popping noises – then I noticed that the driver was merrily masticating with his mouth wide open and popping like almost every two seconds. It was horrible! And there was no escape as his noise echoed to the back of the bus. I felt like pointing out the “no eating” rule to him. Tried to put on my headphones but my batteries were dead. Arrrhhhhhggggg.
Deb
I’ve just spent the good part of an hour reading every post, like I’m sure a lot of you have.
*cue cliche* I also am sooo glad to have found more like myself.
I’m 23, and can remember having problems with this all my life. Unlike most of you,(at least from most of the comments) I also have ‘transient’dislikes of certain sounds.
My list includes, but is not limited to
mouth noises, chewing, breathing, sniffing, throat clearing etc. Lately, after having broken up with a girlfriend, i’ve noticed the sounds of local pidgeons annoy the hell out of me. I’m now a good shot with a rock. I don’t even have to throw anything anymore. I can ‘dummy’throw.
I’ve noticed all annoying sounds get worse when I’m thinking about them. But, of course you become obsessed with them. I have a new g/f now, and she’s great. But, as i knew it probably would I’m getting annoyed by breathing sounds she makes. It drives me insane and I get really angry and violent feelings.
I’ve recently been trying acupuncture and meditation. While i feel better for it, this hasn’t helped as I would have hoped. My next step is hypnotherapy, and I’ll let you know how it goes.
In the meantime, don’t do as I do and hit things (especially not people!)
Cya
Oh, I almost forgot. I’m a live sound engineer, so desensitizing myself to sound is NOT an option. I rely on my hearing for my money. Part of my skill is hearing things others don’t.
(ps: keyboard noises hurt too, but only when it’s someone else)
(pps: i feel like a mongrel for getting upset about breathing noises from my girl, I just can’t help it. Surely there’s a way out of this torment?)
I feel blessed that my sensitivity to sound doesn’t seem to extend much past eating/gum chewing noises. Every now and then keyboard and mouse noises will bug me, but not nearly to the negree that eating sounds do. I can usually tune out the keyboard sounds if I crank my headphones a bit.
Talking at work irritates me when I’m trying to concentrate, especially when it gets loud… but once again it doesn’t make me want to get up and run like hell the way gum-chewing does.
Breathing sounds can get on my nerves, especially people who breathe loud. My fiance doesn’t breathe loud, but he does snore. That drove me nuts for a long time – but he finally discovered a way to sleep that stops his snoring for the most part (thank the gods my fiance is understanding about my issues with his snoring!! If he wasn’t we never would have made it.) His breathing when we were trying to get to sleep, used to bug me… but I have found that turning on the fan helps me tune him off. I have the fan on every night when we sleep and even when I sleep alone now I turn on the fan because just the soothing, continual sound it makes puts me right to sleep.
Dunno if that’s helpful to anyone, but it works really well for me.
Unfortunately – nothing helps me deal with gum-smackers and I have to really struggle hard to supress the primal violent feelings that well up whenever I am exposed to someone’s shlomping and shlurping. Grrrr.
Deb
i also have a dislike to probably 50%
of the sounds i hear. I cannot type or use the mouse on my pc without earplugs in! The Dr. has me on zoloft and clonanzepam. It doesn’t work though.
Checking this board when I’m annoyed by a co-worker usually makes me feel somewhat better. The woman that shares a “panel” with me apparently has a scratchy throat today as she’s clearing it every few seconds. Headphones won’t cover it, I’d be deaf by the end of the day. The only thing that makes it bareable is that I’m greatful she’s not chomping gum! I can also relate to being annoyed by the heavy breathing. What are you supposed to say? “Would you stop that annoying breathing…in and out, in and out…it never ends.” haha
It annoys me too. I never say anything until I’m REALLY mad, then all my anger comes out and the person thinks I really hate them. I wish I could just be honest from the start without seeming too picky at the same time. It usually goes something like: “Oh, for F***’s sake, throw that F****** gum in the bin before I wrap it round your neck!” Then people start thinking I’ve flipped because I’m usually fairly quiet and polite!
Does anyone in this community really
know how this “Sound(s) Aggravation
can be treated, because i have 50% of
sounds bother me! I’ve been on 4 medications, but still no help.Thanks.
I have been looking for you guys for YEARS! I am also bothered by mouth sounds (gum popping, chomping, eating, sucking, slurping, fingernail biting, some whistling etc.). I have spent countless hours and thousands of dollars on this problem over the past 13 years or so. I have gotten different diagnoses depending on whom I spoke with: obsession, PTSD, selective hyperacusis or misophonia. I could go on for hours on this subject but in this post I’d like to focus on some things that have worked for me.
I carry around a small MP3 player with inconspicuous earbuds and rechargeable batteries. When I hear annoying noises I listen to pink noise (similar to white noise). This masks all outside noise much better than music.
Also in theaters and airplanes I have asked poppers the following: “Excuse me, I wonder if you could help me out. I have a hearing disability which reduces my tolerance to the popping.” EVERYONE who I asked this of stopped. (They were usually apologetic.)
However, asking co-workers to accommodate me in two previous jobs was generally COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. They would stop for awhile then would revert to their old ways. Then they viewed me in a negative way and it caused me more problems. It’s not like a war veteran who ducks for cover when a car backfires. THAT most people would understand. It seems with our problem they don’t really have a CONTEXT to put it in. At my present job I have let NO ONE know about my problem and I’ve been getting by with my trusty MP3 player for over 18 months now.
Gumblaster
I’m sitting next to a supremely annoying gum chomper right now and googled “how to politely tell someone to stop chomping gum” just for some relief. I found this hilarious series of posts. She is of the variety that does not make consistent noises, which would be easy enough for me to tune out. Instead, she chews civilly for a few minutes, then initiates a long series of chomps, smacks, snaps, and sucks. I’m going to lose my mind, and I cannot leave. Thanks for the temporary relief and entertainment.
OK, here’s a momentary humor-break for all of us who are struggling to tolerate the gummers! Enjoy!! ~Deb
THE VARIOUS TYPES OF GUM-CHEWERS
A study of the genus Masticatus Gummus
SNAP-CRACKLE-POP (Snappus Disgustus)
This chewer has developed a distinctive style of chewing typified by constant crackling, snapping and popping of gum. The chewer has specialized jaw muscles which enable it to chew for days on end. Indeed, this species’ jaws have evolved to the point where quiet chewing is no longer possible. Some experts believe the loud, aggressive chewing behavior developed as a kind of primitive display intended to awe potential rivals or flush prey out of seclusion.
One of the most common breeds, Snappus Disgustus’ habitat extends throughout the human population. To mark its territory, this chewer often leaves sticky wads on park benches, under tables or on sidewalks.
THE SNAPPER (Snappus Irritatus)
A subspecies of Snap-Crackle-Pop, Snappers are distinguished by their characteristic snapping of gum against the inside of the mouth. While many other species of Gummus Smackus openly display their cud-chewing by forming large bubbles and open-mouthed chomping, Snappers prefers to hide their cud inside their cavern-like mouths, relying upon a specialized auditory system which amplifies the continual snapping of the gum against the insides of the teeth and cheeks. Less common than Snappus Disgustus, this species is none-the-less frequently spotted in movie theaters, where it continually snaps its gum territorially, ensuring that that rivals do not claim any nearby seats.
THE POPPER (Bubblicious Fruitus)
Poppers have developed a unique mating ritual distantly related to that of certain amphibians which puff out their chins and cheeks to attract the opposite sex. Females of Bubblicious Fruitus compete for the attention of the males by blowing large, pink bubbles which they loudly pop and then suck back into their mouths. It is believed that the males are drawn to whichever female can produce the larger bubbles thereby demonstrating superior sucking and blowing ability. The males correspondingly chew their cud lazily and stare vacuously while the females strive to out-bubble each other.
THE BREATHER (Expellus Mintus)
This species of gum-chewer is not so much distinguished by aggressive chewing, but rather by its minty-clean freshness. Breathers chew gum with varying degrees of loudness, often equal to the daunting displays of Snappus Disgustus, however all Breathers also possess a unique ability to expel their breath at great distances so that their minty scent can be detected from far away. Only the strongest mint and wintergreen-flavored gum appeal to this chewer. Those who study Expellus Mintus believe that this chewer’s powerful breath serves as both a defense against predators and as a lure to the opposite sex. Predators who get too close to a Breather will encounter a wall of overpowering, noxious wintergreen whereas potential mates are drawn to the minty-fresh scent from miles away.
SWAMP THING (Slurpus Disgustus)
These chewers are endowed with an overabundance of saliva which enables them to produce rich, frothy slurping and slopping sounds as they chew their cud. Slurpus Disgustus lacks the strong jaw muscles necessary to produce the constant cracking and chomping of the more exuberant species, however a Swamp Thing is able to compete on an auditory level by producing an abundance of sloshing, slurping and sucking sounds similar to the sounds a dog makes when eating.
MARATHON CHEWERS (Neverendus Masticatus)
The Marathon Chewer is distinguished by an unparalleled ability to chew its cud endlessly. The length of time one of these amazing chewers can chomp on a single wad remains a mystery to scientists, as a used wad deposited by Neverendus Masticatus has never been found. It is believed that this chewer is born with a wad of gum already formed in its mouth, which it chews on throughout its life cycle. Only more study on this unusual species will reveal the truth.
SPEED RACER (Rapidus Chompus)
The fastest of the gum chewers, Speed Racer us known for its rapid up and down jaw movement which can cause dizziness and nausea in onlookers. These chewers have a unique spring-like bone structure which enables them to chew much more rapidly than other species. Although the purpose of this extra-fast chewing is unknown, scientists speculate that it may have evolved during a time when the species was deprived of gum and therefore had to chomp as quickly as possible whenever an opportunity to chew gum occurred.
It is comforting to know I am not alone in this. I have a huge intolerance to mouth noises. Thankfully I do not get violent thoughts. However, I completely lose any ability to concentrate. If I am out to a meal with someone who makes chewing noises or talks with food in their mouth I cannot even listen to what they are saying because I’m so busy trying not to think about how much I dislike what they’re doing. Unless I say something, I know my mood also changes and I get very distant and cranky. It’s a problem.
By the way, don’t you hate it when people eat or suck candy or chew gum while they speak to you on the phone?!? It’s like they don’t realize their speech is altered when something is in their mouth! I usually find an excuse to get off the phone or call back.. sometimes I forgo the excuse and just tell the truth.. then I hang up
An earlier post mentioned a possible cause of our condition being a serotonin deficiency. I get mild but frequent headaches, which a headache specialist just recently diagnosed as migraines. The medicine sample she gave me was described on one website to ‘mimic certain actions of serotonin’. I am very inclined to think my problems go hand in hand.
Does anyone else have a problem with headaches/migraines?
Thanks!
Crys
I have issues with people who always have to eat at their desk. Not only do I have to deal with their mouth noises, but also the stink of their food while they are eating. Yuck. Don’t they know that we have a cafeteria set up especially for eating??? Gross.
Deb
I’m a student and class is the worst. I can’t listen to headphones because I have to hear the lecture so I sit there with one finger jammed up my ear while the other one takes notes. I also get very violent thoughts and become physically sick! All these years, I’ve been told that it’s nothing and that I just need to hear it more to get used to it! I think I’d pull my hair out if I heard it more! I can pinpoint ANYONE chewing within 100 feet, no matter what and I NEVER EVER forget who has chewed in the past. All this time I thought that I was crazy and the only one! This board is great!
I have two co-workers on both sides of my cubicle who know it bothers me and others, yet they continue to slobber on their gum. The only solution I’ve come up with is earbuds playing music or static from the radio, but I get tired of listening to that all day. I’m going to look into getting some high quality ear plugs.
I can’t help feeling that people with this disgusting habit have lower intelligence as well as no manners, and I have zero respect for them. Everywhere you go – work, school, store, riding the bus – there’s always someone chomping away. It seems like it is getting worse all the time. We are a society of slobs.
Let me know how you go with the meds Crys, I wouldn’t say I get frequent headaches, but I do get them occasionally. Has anyone out there used any seratonin altering drugs like ecstacy and had any problems? (or benefits) I’ve found that aside from generally feeling a bit ‘down’ afterwards (as you always will, eventually) it hasn’t really helped or worsened my problem.
Keep the posts coming (hopefully more answers!)
Much like many who have already posted, I am SO happy to have found this board. For years I thought I was the only person bothered by the gum-chewing slobs of the world. Don’t people realize how moronic they look with their jaws constantly moving up and down with a spit-filled rubbery ball rolling around in their gaping mouths. Why is it that NOBODY seems to be able to chew gum imperceptibly?? If others can see the gum or (MUCH worse) hear the gum, you’re chewing it wrong! I don’t understand why we must be subjected to the cacophony of snaps, pops, slobbery sounds, etc. that seem to go along with the chewing. I’m often tempted to go up to people snapping their gum and either clap my hands loudly by their ears or belch in their faces — not very ladylike, but just as gross as what they subject me and the rest of the world to.
I can hear gum snaps, pops, crackles in a crowd — almost as if my ears are specially attuned to that particular sound. My last trip to Disneyland was almost ruined by those rude people. It’s not an attractive habit — bad enough when teenagers do it, but even worse when well-dressed “professional” people do the same thing. How professional is that?? You’d think people would grow out of it, but apparently not.
Right now a guy in my cubicle is chewing gum … loudly with his mouth open (do these people eat other food this way?? Sadly, the answer in the case of my coworker is “Yes”). He sounds like a cow with its foot stuck in the mud … the slurping and squishing and sloshing is making me almost ill. I’m sure it’s made worse by the fact that he insists on chewing 2 or 3 pieces of gum at a time. Thankfully my other gum chewing coworker is gone this week or I’d be subjected to his lovely mouth noises as well. And I work in a situation where I am not able to wear earplugs. It’s taking every bit of my self-control to not yell and scream. The only thing keeping me sane at this point is this board and the comforting knowledge that I am not alone.
I’m bothered by all sorts of mouth noises, but primarily gum noises and the chewing of loud food (chips, carrots, celery, etc). I think I’ve always been bothered by it to an extent, but it’s getting worse as I get older. I would love to be able to ignore such noises, as most people seem to be able to do, but I cannot. I wish I knew what the cause of it is and how I can let it not bother me so much. I , too, get frequent headaches and migraines … perhaps that is an underlying cause? I don’t know, but at least I know I’m not alone … thanks!
Mel
I learned very early in life that gum-chewing is looked down upon by certain members of society. I am an African-american female and I find that most times it is another African-American female popping gum so loud as to distract one from what one is doing.
I have asked a few females to stop.
I have to tell you, I asked politely, but readied myself for any negative responses. I never received any. The three people that I asked all were somewhat amused when I asked them. If they had responded negatively, or nastily, I would just have politely informed them that its really rude and inconsiderate, but if you feel compelled to continue, I can’t stop you.
I feel if you politely say something, the person will be receptive. If the person responds defensively, just say “well I thought I would ask” if you choose not to comply, well then okay. Most people will feel uncomfortable after that. Even if they continue to chew they will be forever aware that it is very annoying to you and it may be annoying to others who are afraid to say something.
I hope this is somewhat helpful.
Good Luck!
I just had an idea.
If you give me her telephone number, I will call her and politely inform her that she is annoying many of her co-workers,etc. etc.
I honestly feel like I’m going crazy. I posted here in Nov 2002 and believe it or not, I am STILL with the same job! I am at the point where I want to smack these discusting people upside their heads (or stick em in a pig sty) :p Not only does the gum bother me, I am annoyed by everything they do……the open mouth chewing of food – GROSS! The slurping of coffee – umm, hello….have you ever tried tipping the cup a bit? The extra loud keyboard typing, always using speaker phone, etc….
Did I mention, I’m also very close to the restroom? Ugh…..someone shoot me!
Ooops! Sorry for the typos :/
Hi folks. It was around a year ago when I posted last, and I am (unfortunately) back. I am in dire need of the understanding and comfort this board provides. I had what I call an AGV today (Anti-Gum Victory). I was doomed to spend a 3 hour one-on-one meeting with a “Snappus Irritatus” today. So, I sucked it up and said, “Can I ask you a favor? I have this weird aversion to gum chewing. I know it may sound strange, but the sound is a major pet peeve of mine and I’d like to know if you could spit your gum out until we are done.” He was totally understanding! He actually said he’d never heard that before, but asked if I hated the sound of cotton. I didn’t think I did, and he went on to explain how no one has ever had a similar problem as him. He cannot stand the sound/feel of cotton balls (such as in medicine bottles). I was so happy that I said something and that he understood. Now if only my Slurpervisor had the same understanding…this guy is a Gum-Shifter with a case of the Phone Slammies on the side. He rolls his gum around in his mouth. I see the packet of gum on his desk and consider swiping it when he is away from his desk. I will write more on him later.
I,am one of you. I HATE gum noise and teeth cleaning noise so much that I feel like I,am losing control. There has to be a way to hypnotize or deal with this problem, besides drugs. I read several of these responses and can feel your pains, literally! As soon as I hear someone pop, crack or smack thier gum I feel instant hate towards that individual. We need to start a support group or association of anti-gum poppers or something. I,am a pretty laid back individual except when someone stars with the gum. I wish we could come up with an alternitive to dealing with this problem. Thank you for letting me vent , I was at the mall tonight and was in a footlocker store when this chick comes walking in snapping her gum in sync with her walk. I instantly got mad and mumbled “Thats extermely obnoxious” and walked out of the store. I then came home and found this sight. We can beat this guys! We just need the tools and the know how…anybody know how?
I definitely feel your pain. Stick up for yourself and tell her what’s up. She might taunt you, but you could ask to move your desk. Or she might care enough to stop. This is a compromise she’s going to have to make for you. Remember, everyone shares the workplace. Besides, you may save the ears of other coworkers to shy to say anything.
My advice, why not? Things can’t get any worse.
Hiya Folks!
Brett above has mentioned starting a support group…..it could probably be done through Yahoo! Groups easily enough, and at this point, I’m willing to look into it and see what needs to be done in order to accomplish such a thing. If there is truly an interest in such a thing, please email me. I’m totally at my wits end here…..I feel so insane and alone. I am totally isolated in my inability to deal with this affliction….my inability to tolerate being near others who are popping gum, chewing both it and food with their mouths open — smacking and carrying on. Through these board postings I truly know that I am not alone…..but I’m starting to believe that perhaps we can come together and support each other as a result. What do you say….can we all come together as a group???? I’ll await your replies!!!
Thanks for reading…..:)
I’m on a customer service committee at work. Our group has decided to ban gum chewing by our 350 employees because of all the reasons listed above. The “behavior standard”, as we call, it will go into effect in June. I’m sure there will be both grumbling and celebration.
Other suggestions for those of you who have neared your wits end—-put a suggestion box in your department. Once a month take the suggestions out and read them at a staff meeting. No names need to be given. It’s a way to provide feedback to co-workers without being confrontational. Good Luck.
AHHHHH! I have found a new type of gum chewer…the Roller! A guy who sits behind my desk at the office rolls the gum around his tongue, pauses for 3 seconds to chew at rapid speed practically OUTSIDE of his mouth, only to return to rolling it around in a Tazmanian Devil Spit Tornado…help!
Oh thank god there are other people out there like me! I have had this gum phobia for YEARS and it’s terrible….i really wish i didn’t hate it so much but I do. It totally affects my day-to-day functioning. There are people that I _like_ but don’t want to hang out with simply because they chew gum. And it’s really bizarre because most of the time, it’s females who are polite in other ways (ie, generally aren’t trashy) but they just end up looking so unprofessional and hooker-like. When they eat food, it’s not like they display the contents of their mouths to you, but gum is a whole other story. Strange. And the NOISE of saliva moving around in their mouths! urrghghhhh!!! SO disgusting. it makes me want to throw up. Anyway, I have seriously been considering hypnosis or something because my work environment is going to become unbearable, I just can’t ask EVERYONE to stop chewing….
Thanks for being out there for me! I really thought that I was the only one and after reading your remarks, I plucked up the courage to say something to a co-worker and she was _fine_ with it! It’s made a huge difference. One thing I would say is, don’t suggest that someone chews “quietly” or whatever. The best thing to do is ask them not to chew gum at all. Because most of the time, they simply don’t realise that they are being noisy and will revert to old habits and you’ll be back at square one….
Good luck to you all! don’t be scared…you have nothing to lose really.
Pam count me in! I will email you when I gethome from work. I’m going bonkers today as everone on my row is snaping gum. Thats the other really nice thing about smackers. They always like to be generous and pass the gum around. And then we have a whole herd of bovines chomping their cud. I thought I’d go homicidal on this woman that rides my bus. Every night i am treated to her loud snapping, popping and sucking of gum. I always move away fromm her – she looks at me like she doesn’t understand why I move away, and I don’t care. I can still hear her at the other end of the bus. There is no escape from the bovine cud-chewers! Arrgh. I’d love a support group of other gum haters!
Count me in! I’m going nuts listening to the gum chompers at work. And you just gotta love how generous they are with their cud – they always pass it out to everyone to make sure the whole herd has something to chomp on. Now my whole row is schlomping and schlurping. ***shudder***
Hi, Everyone
I cannot begin to express. What finding this thread has done for me. I thought I was so alone and helpless. I am at the point where I just cannot take it anymore and I need help desperately. I share absolutely everything you have all mentioned. And it is such an enormous relief to find others like me. I am a computer technician for the government. So I am very up on the technology end of things. I will take 100% care of setting up a PHP chat forum and message board. I have the resources to do it and I will. I would love nothing more than to help out as much as possible. I will begin work immediately on this for all of us. So we can have a safe haven for us were we could feel at home. A place for us to help each other and try to over come this. I will do this as soon as you all give me a go. I don’t want to intrude on anyone if they have already started. But the offer is there if you would like me to help out. Thank you all very much you have been such a huge help.
Sincerely,
Rob
Wow, what a great thing to find out that there are so many of us! Not to mention how many great writers there are among us. I could sit here and read all day and be totally entertained.
I deal with the gum smacking/popping (loudly!) every day at work. There are two offenders; they are nice enough ladies (I use that term loosely), just annoying/rude as hell! I honestly don’t know how it’s physically possible to make so much noise with a stupid little piece of gum, and for so many hours…every damn day. I dread going to work and usually have a headache by the end of the day because of it. I have a hard time at movie theaters as well; popcorn is just as evil as gum if you ask me. My boyfriend recommended I take 5-HTP, and over the counter amino acid supplement. I guess his sister takes it to calm her nerves. I’m trying it, I just started today I’ll try almost anything at this point. I’d never thought of hypnotherapy before reading some of your comments, I may look into that. At least now I know I’m not alone like my friends and family have always led me to believe.
Thanks all for validating my ‘neurosis’ and making my day with your great commentaries!
-Rita
Hello fellow sufferers, I’ve spent all my life learning how to avoid the constant barrage of stimuli which creates our “insanity.” I am now self employed so I’m not forced into the situations of the past, however, I’ve lived in the country for the past 27 years because I could not tolerate sounds, such as BASS, filtering through my living quarters from neighbors. After all these years someone has moved in about a thousand yards down the road with amplified speakers set up in his back yard so that he can listen to music while he “appreciates” nature. Yes; you can add penetrating bass to the list of annoyances I deal with in addition to the chewing, popping etc noises. It seems that I can hear it at levels that other people can’t hear it. Is this a problem with anyone else?
I am also afflicted with extreme sensitivity to gum chewing and eating noise. At this very moment I’m sitting next to a coworker who has to be one of the worst gum chewers/eaters around. It would figure that I would get her right next to my cubicle. I took the advice of previous posts here to politely tell her that her gum chewing was bothering me. Unfortunately, she only chews less loudly and I can hear it just as though she had made no change at all. I told her this about 3 months ago and have been suffering through each day, waiting for the right opportunity to just ask her to not chew gum at all. I always lose my nerve though, because I don’t want to further strain our working relationship. At the same time, I dread coming into work to hear her chew all day long every day. I really feel like it is having an effect not only my work performance, but on my health. I always have a tightness in my chest and usually leave work at the end of the day with a headache. I really must say something to her before I lose my sanity. Thanks to all for your posts. At least I,m not suffering alone.
I would be all for an online discussion group! There are so many days that I want to run out of the office screaming. (Tulip – are they hiring where you work?!)
My father was very strict about table manners when we were growing up, and I wonder if that has something to do with my reaction. I can’t stand loud sloppy eaters either; though at least it doesn’t go on for hours at a time like the damn gum. Crunching doesn’t bother me as it can’t be helped with things like potato chips. It’s the DELIBERATE noise-making that gets to me.
I once had a coworker in the next cubicle who told me that he couldn’t stand the sound of someone crunching snack foods, so I made sure I went elsewhere if I wanted a snack. Why can’t gum chewers show the same consideration?
I have been afflicted with this for my entire life and it’s never gotten any better. I can’t stand it when people chew gum loudly or crack their gum. It’s awful to listen to some cow chewing their gum over the phone too. Don’t these people realize how stupid they sound? They have no manners at all. I can’t stand to listen to any kind of crunching or chewing or loud breathing. All of these noises make me feel like I’m losing my sanity. I once had a job where there was a gum cracker to my left, a loud gum chewer to my right and a loud breather behind me. Talk about losing it! I quit that job in a hurry. How can you pay attention to anything you’re supposed to be doing when you have to deal with that kind of stuff???
My suggestion to everyone is to wear earplugs at night and at the movie theater. If it weren’t for earplugs, I wouldn’t be able to go to the movies so thank God for earplugs! I have just now started doing things that I’ve never been able to do because of this paralyzing disability. Nobody takes you seriously when you tell them what the problem is. I don’t understand why. Some people do it all the more when they find out you have a weakness-why? Why would anyone do something on purpose to get on someone’s nerves? That is just careless! Why can’t people show some consideration and stop the offending actions? Thank God for all those who understand. I have a friend that believes me and she doesn’t chew gum around me and doesn’t eat crunchy food either. Thanks! Anyone want to contact me about this email me slyfoxy46628@yahoo.com
Sheryl
Dear Chris,
May I suggest you approach your boss about the problem. I suffered in silence for six months at my previous job, causing my phobia to get worse (stuff exposure therapy). However, after approaching my superiors about it arrangements were made for me to work alone in my own lab and office. Perhaps your boss/bosses will understand and be willing to sort something out.
If someone tells you to have therapy, tell them to go to hell. What’s next? Therapy to make you tolerant of people picking their noses and eating the extracts? Therapy to tolerate being called a c**t?
As the Manic Street Preachers said:
‘If you tolerate this, your children will be next’.
Peace, good health and prosperity to you all.
Why do people crack their gum?
I think they like the echoes in their skulls.
OK, that was mean! TGIF, if I can get through today without throttling someone…
I can’t hardly stand to go to most public places anymore for fear there might be someone making mouth noises! I went to the doctor the other day and everything was going well until a girl walked in and immediately started cracking her gum! I just about walked out of the waiting room but I stayed and listened to that crap for 15 more minutes! That took a lot of tolerance for me!
Why is it that I find most African American women like to crack their gum like this? Is it something with the race? I just don’t understand! I just want to go up to them and tell them to shut the hell up!!! Thanks for listening.
Sheryl
I just stumbled upon this post – looking for a solution to silence a co-worker who is an incessant gum snapper. I am so relieved to find others out there who are as tormented by this disgusting habit. Over the years, I have been very vocal with my family regarding this issue – which led to regular teasing from brothers and sisters when growing up. They knew it drove me crazy so they not only continued to chomp, but would pull their gum from their mouths and swing it around playing “tarzan” with it. We’ve all grown up, but I’m still disgusted by this nasty habit. Thanks so much for the messages posted here. I’m pinning some of these messages on the office bulletin board. At a minimum, it will create discussion. At best, maybe I’ll silence a few gum snappers.
wow. long time since i’ve posted. i will say that i still have an aversion to gum snapping/smacking. i read the comment above about african american women. as an african american woman, imagine my level of frustration at having to deal this all my life. my mom. my sisters. all poppers. constantly. when the aversion began in my teens, i counted the days until i would leave home for college.
i know females who chew gum snap gum pop gum ALL DAY LONG. no joke. ALL DAY. no breaks. they even eat with a wad of gum hidden mysteriously in their mouths. and when they finish eating, the wad mysteriously reappears. pop pop pop. at church. at work. i can’t even attempt to go to a black hair salon. ain’t happenin’. everyone is pop pop poppin.
what makes matters worse is that african american men seem to like it. like it’s a sexy thing to them. ugh.
however, the talent for the popping transcends race. we know that.
i will report that for the last 2 months i have been taking L5HTP and have noticed a real reduction at my anger towards the offending noises. when i take this supplement regularly, i feel so much better and can cope a little easier when i come in contact with the noise, instead of immediately getting angry and wanting to snap someone’s neck.
i don’t want to post any brand names on this board, but if anyone wants more information, feel free to email by clicking on my name. i’m sure all the brands of this are the same, i’m guessing. it hasn’t worked a miracle but it has really, really helped me. i was losing it.
I’ve noticed a few comments from T-Girl, Linda and Sheryl about African American women tending to be prolific gum poppers. I’ve also noticed this and they also seem to blow a lot of bubbles and loudly crack those too. I’m curious as to why? Is it like a power thing or something or maybe even an attention getting scheme? Any African American women out there, please let me know!!
Curious…why is it that African American women seem to pop their gum so much? They also seem to love to blow large bubbles and pop them loudly! It’s so annoying!!
test
I never thought there were other people who have this problem. I cannot stand loud breathing, chewing, slurping, crunching ect. I must have something to drown the sound out. It is absoutly terrible. I am young and still live with my parents, and my father is a repeat offender to the things i listed above. It has deffinitly affected our relationship, I practilly have to hide in my room for most of the day avoiding the horrible sounds. Please give me advice on how to cope and better my relationship with my father.
mara
Hello, I’m a hong kong student.I would like to know the definition of
gum-chewing. Is it referred to chewing gum loudly with the mouth opened?
Thank you.
I was amazed to find this site. I’m sitting here at my desk at work listening to the sound that I’ve become all to familiar with. Of course that would be the sound of incessent gum popping. Who knew that there was a whole group of us with this same problem. My annoyance sits right next to me, and pops gum pretty much all day. My skin crawls each time I hear her open another piece, because I know what’s coming next….POP!!! POP!!! POP!!! I’ve come close to confronting her about it, but haven’t done so yet. I notice now that more and more in my office are starting this annoying trend. They have to know how it sounds. It makes it very difficult to concentrate on work, at least for me. I tell myself sometimes that if I hear just one more pop..then it’s all over. I wonder just how much more I can handle before I go completely insane. Someone in a earlier post mentioned being annoyed by people who type to loudly. That blew my mind! My main gum popper is a crazy loud typer. I call her the “loud clacker/gum smacker”. Of course I keep that little pet name to myself.
I appreciate all the posts. I got a kick out of reading them. We fellow gumma-phobes got to stick together!
Gum chewing is chewing gum with your mouth closed and no popping of the gum. Gum smacking is chewing gum like a cow and sometimes popping it. Gum poppers smack like a cow and snap their gum every 2 1/2 seconds. LOL
Thanks T-Girl for the info. Glad to see you here!
t-girl
I have read some of your posts and am really sorry that your sister doesn’t understand what the problem is. For the longest time my family didn’t understand either. I think it was the way I handled it mostly. When they’d start chewing gum and popping bubbles I’d instantly fly into a rage and demand that they spit the gum out or quit eating chips or whatever they were doing to offend me. It’s taken me like 25 years to learn that it’s easier for them if I ask politely to stop than to get mad and demand they stop. I don’t know how you handle the situation with your family though. Sometimes we get madder at our families because they love us. I hope your sister comes to her senses and realizes that this is not worth giving up her realtionship with you. This thing that afflicts us is real and debilitating to us and we can’t help it no matter what anybody says. No, it’s not in our heads, something we make up just to be anal. If that were the case, I could sure as heck find better stuff to be anal about, how about you?? LOL You can contact me if you wanna talk at slyfoxy46628@yahoo.com Have a great day all!
Sheryl
hey, i am going to be a freshman in college next year and a friend of mine sent me this website today. I thought i was alone in this world, honestly. There is nothing more horrific and terrifying than being around people who chew loudly. Its like everything around me pauses and mutes out as i scan the premesis for the culprate who i will then stare at with a disgusted glare. Then my eyes get stuck on the mouth of this baffoon and i cant hear anything but the smacking. I cant function, honestly it like paralyzes me. This may be more severe than some of your cases but let me tell you, taking final exams in highschool near people who chew loudly… oh man i thought i was going to kill someone. The worst part is that all of us do feel reserved in talking to people about it, for some reason i always feel embarrassed or ashamed. But i knew i had to do something, so all my friends now know and are conscious of it and respectful (sometimes) of it. The way i went about helping it is: you have to be honest and say something like: “Listen, im really sorry if this sounds rude, but i dont mean it to be. Its nothing about you personally, I just have this really weird problem where any type of chewing noises literally drive me insane, ive had it forever now and it really sucks because it honestly drives me insane. I know it sounds really weird and stupid, but its just this one little thing that if you could be more conscious i would honestly really appreciate it.” Something like that, maybe more brief, but thats the main idea. Anyways, unless they are trying annoye me (which they now know how to do) for the most part they are good. And if they are chewing loudly i can openly ask them to stop because they now understand. anyways thats all i have to say and its really nice to know that there are others out there like me. However the predicament remains of how to address the issue to someone you dont know so well… anyone have any ideas?
Oh my goodness, I am so happy to have found this web site! I have a major problem with people chomping their food and gum. Since I was a small child, I shot evil glances at my father across the dinner table because of the loud chewing noises he made. Now I am in my late 20’s and the problem continues. I sometimes dread being around my family because of the chewing issues. My mom must have caught the “gross chewing syndrome” from my dad, because now I’m not sure who is worse. She chews (and snaps) gum constantly… I want to hide all the gum in the house so that no one can chew it. Ughghgh. Whenever I say anything, they get annoyed and think I need to “get over it”.
What a great find you all are! I’m sitting at my desk right now and, as I write this, all 3 of my gum-snapping co-workers are going at it! No wait…..one of them has spit her gum out and is now chomping on a carrot. She’s also the one who has to bang the keyboard louding when typing. When the gum-chompers aren’t going at it, I have the fingernail clippers to keep me annoyed. I hate that!! snip…snip…snip. 3 men in my group clip their nails every day. Hmmm…..where are the loose nail pieces landing? Then if that isn’t quite enough to make me tear my hair out, the woman right on the other side of my cubicle wall has fake fingernails and constantly drums them on her desk. Apparently I stopped take my medication too soon. Thanks for the laughs!
Wow. As someone mentioned before, I have found my people. I would like to comment on the hereditary topic. My mom has the same “hypersensitivity” that I do, and I truly believe that seeing her reactions to gum, nail clipping, loud chewing, etc. trained me from an early age to react in the same manner.
I share most of the symptoms listed here, and my vision is of me taking the person’s gum out of their mouth and sticking it to their forehead! I also get anxious going to the movies, at ballgames, anyplace I can’t leave immediately. There will inevitably be a popper nearby for me to shoot lasers at with my eyes. When I go places with my mom, the stress increases, because I know it bothers her too, and I want to somehow protect her from it.. which is nuts since I can’t stand it either.
I am willing to undergo hypnosis if there are proven results. However, I don’t want to spend hours and hours of “let’s try this” and “how about this”. I need a fix, but I don’t know if I want to be a guinea pig to get it.
Thanks for letting me vent. I’ll be checking here for progress…
Thank you so much for all the insight. I’ve really thought I have this sick problem and it’s up to me to get over it. For years gum-cracking has gotten the best of me. I am able to hear people cracking and snapping over stock car races.I started threatening people that I would rip their tongues out of their mouths. For some it has helped. But the noises at work have gotten the best of me. The pounding of key-boards, the clipping of nails, loud chewing, gum cracking, loud talking … I have complained so much (also suffer from migraine headaches) that one of my bosses has put me in a seperate office. It has helped tremendously and I am so very grateful. I am getting so much more done and am a much more productive worker (plus I complain less). I just have decided to tell it like it is. If they have the right to be obnoxious with noises, then I have the right to complain.
Thanks all for listening.
Dear Fellow Tormented,
Has anyone searched ‘gum’ and ‘anti-gum’ on the web? Well, DON’T! It’s very depressing reading. It seems that those of us who hate gum and peoples use of it are scum of the earth fascists who are opposed to freedom and have no legitimate grievances.
This to me is an example of how the meaning of the term ‘freedom’ has been distorted my modern liberal thinking. Originally it meant (these are my words and my interpretation):
“The right and ability to do anything that is neither amoral nor infringes the rights and freedoms of anyone else”.
Now the meaning has been changed to:
“The right and ability to do anything that is not unfashionable and anyone who objects on any grounds whatsoever is a stupid c*nt”.
Does anyone know of cheap one way flights to MARS please?!!
Peace, good health and prosperity to you all and may Singapore be damned to hell for re-legalising that spearmint flavoured filth.
Neil
I am shocked — never in my wildest dreams did I think that anyone else was as bad as me. But you are! Thank you! Just some insight into my issues with not only gum, but ANY food or beverage…
The woman who sits across from me at works chews the newest type of gum that comes in the cardboard sleeve that you pullout and pop the piece out of the back thru the foil. Everytime I hear her drawer open, the gum come out, and the smack smack smack I want to smack her. I mean really lady, must you gnaw on the stuff?! But in the end, it doesn’t matter. Because no matter how it is being chewed, I would find an issue with it.
Secondly, another irritating sound? The tip tap type of the computer keyboard. Those who pound on it, those who type so fast you wonder if they’re publishing their third novel, whatever.
Werid?
In any event, I will watch my boyfriend (whom I love very much) gulp back a can of soda, smack his lips repeatedly and I inevitably shoot him a dirty look. I feel bad that I do this.
I have made people self-conscious, annoyed, angry, defensive and insulted with my comments and dirty looks. And I don’t want to do this anymore. I am thankful I found this site.
Welcome to all the newcomers. Isn’t it great to finally find people who understand and sympathize with you on this crazy thing? I know the day I found this website I was in heaven because for the first time I realized it wasn’t just me who had the problem and when you find that out it makes it ok to be like this. Thank you to everyone on this board who has written! Welcome home!
Sheryl
I’ve heard that a re-make of Willie Wonka And The Chocolate Factory is going to come out, with Tim
Burton directing. Can’t wait to see the part with “Violet” the gum-chewing girl. I wonder what will befall her (cue evil laughter: bwa ha ha ha ha!)
“Violet” is but one of the nicknames of my worst tormentors. One of the polite names!
I’m so glad this board exists.
Yesterday I was in a store and there was a guy in his late 40’s to early 50’s behind us in line chewing with his mouth open, no popping, but I could hear these slimey mouth noises so clearly he may as well been an inch from my ear. I looked at him, he’s oblivious and I have to admit – he didn’t look terribly obnoxious – he wasn’t chewing with the gaping mouth like many offenders, but I could still hear the nasty wet slimey noises. To top it off a guy in front of us was writing a check and taking forever (dropped the pen, didn’t know the date, didn’t even start the check until the cashier was completely done ringing things up, fumbling to find his driver’s license). So my agony of listening to this moron behind us was prolonged by the moron in front. Needless to say I wanted to choke both of them. When we left the store, my husband told me I needed medication and that I’m too uptight. (Although he was irritated by the check writer and delay he caused – made a rather loud comment about not believing people still mess with checks these days, he just was not bothered by the chewer.)
My issue with chewing seems to be getting worse, I can hardly stand to be around people eating, unless there’s a lot of background noise.
I spend my days at work with headphones. Thankfully my gum chewing co-worker has given up the habit – not sure if it’s the many hints I dropped over the YEARS of agony I endured or a dental issue she had. I think it might have started with the dental issue, then I really dropped the hints like crazy while she wasn’t chewing. Regardless, I’m always watching her mouth, waiting to see that gum reappear one day. She is a keyboard pounder and super fast mouse clicker too, but I tell myself that at least it’s not the gum. I tried looking up silent mice, they don’t seem to exist except for gaming. Have also tried to tout the virtues of the touch pad vs. the external mouse, to no avail (it must not be loud enough). For some reason I imagine her thinking that she needs to hear those many clicks.
Everyone just thinks I’m a freak and my husband has just about had it. Can’t understand why no one else even notices these things that drive me crazy.
I just want a world of peace and quiet!
I feel better after the rant, thanks!
you lot have been suffering for years! I have had a problem with people chewing gum loudly since my dad started chewing gum about 10 years ago to try and smoke less. he still smokes as much as ever and chews gum whenever he’s not eating or smoking! I’ve asked him to stop in the past but he doesn’t listen…
anyway, i now have to sit next to someone at work who chews from the moment she arrives till when she leaves. the first time I had to sit next to her, after an office move, I honestly thought she had one of those chinese water gardens on her desk until I looked up and saw her chewing like an angry cow.
luckily she works from home some days and I’m actually at the point where I try to work from home on the days she’s in the office! that didn’t work today – and she’s driving me mad. she also shouts down the phone for hours on end so I’m assuming she’s completely oblivious to ths habit…
help!!! any ideas?
Hey madness, why don’t you tell this offender what is wrong? Sometimes people can sympathize but most of the time these idiots chew all the louder just to get on your last nerve. If she wants to chew her gum and be rude, why can’t you be rude and mention it to her? One turn deserves another right? I hope she understands and quits being rude! Good luck.
I feel your pain SO much. I was researching tonight on gum cracking/snapping/cracking/popping because my reactions to it make me feel like a freak!!! I want to scream “STOP IT!! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!!”
I have been in a van pool all week with some coworkers for a special out of town assignment. I am the driver. A very nice girl sits behind me and has begun this ATTROCIOUS snap/crack/pop routine for the full hour there and back.
I stuffed cotton in my ears (saying my ears hurt with the AC on) and even though I could no longer hear the talking among the other riders, I could still her her smacking, cracking gum.
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Am I nuts to have it affect me like this??
I react a bit when people slurp popsicles or eat with their mouths open. But, gum chewing is my MAIN peeve and source of irritation.
If I were to sit there and snap my fingers for the entire hour drive, people would be annoyed….so why is no one else in the vanpool annoyued by the gum noises?
No one else makes these noises chewing THEIR gum.
Why am I always the freak?
I once spoke to a coworker and told her that just like some people can’t handle fingers on chalkboards or forks on ironstone dinner ware, I react to gum popping….especially in work environments. She was LIVID, did it louder and out of spite and told the office I was a freak, so i don’t dare go there again and I CRANK my earphone music to TRY and override her incessant popping/cracking. (However, there WERE five others in my office who did come to me and tell me on the side they agreed)
Whew! Thanks for the rant!!! I feel better, though I still dread tomorrow’s ride.
I’ve had the same reaction when I’ve tried to talk to gum poppers – no matter how politely I approached them! Either they get angry, or they think it’s FUNNY and pop/crack louder and more often. (Til I want to pop THEM)
I wish the Dear Abby or Miss Manners-type columns would bring this up – I’ve written a few letters but never got a response. How about a letter writing campaign to them?
Jan,
Actually I did find an article by Miss Manners when I did a newspaper scan on the subject. Here it is:
COPYRIGHT © The Star-Ledger 1996
Date: 1996/02/13 Tuesday Page: 026 Section: STATE
Ex-cop’s gum-popping wife causes serious marital strife
Dear Miss Manners:
My wife and I have an ongoing conflict that may seem childish and petty, but it is grating on my nerves. My dear partner likes to pop bubble gum at the most inappropriate time. After a year in Vietnam, 18 years as a police officer and being a victim of Addison’s disease for five years, it is difficult to understand why she likes to aggravate me with continual popping sounds. I don’t mind the chewing, it’s the noise that gets to me, especially when we are in bed and I am trying to sleep. I have told her that it is rude and inconsiderate. She tells me that I have no right to tell her what she can or can not do. The Addison’s disease really adds a complication. My adrenal glands shut down and I cannot manufacture the chemicals required to keep me alive. A daily dose of prednisone helps, but being in bed with someone who makes noises like a sniper quickly depletes my body of adrenaline, corti sone, etc. I end up in bad shape.
Gentle Reader: This is not a happy situation. Perhaps you do not need Miss Manners to tell you that. Unfortunately, you do need to have Miss Manners tell you that invoking a rule of etiquette (such as “don’t pop gum into the dreams of people who have been under gunfire” or “be kind to your husband if he can provide a doctor’s certificate”) doesn’t work with people who do not agree to the mannerly proposition that one should be considerate of others. Miss Manners doesn’t want to suggest that there might be some deep marital problems there. But for a wife to claim that she has a right to make life unbearable for her husband is not a good sign.
I’m willing to write a letter to any and all that I have to to get this subject out in the public. I want all these people to know that it is not good manners to be chewing like a friggin’ cow and snapping/popping/cracking gum like there is no tomorrow. If everyone is with this campaign, let’s get together and do something about the RUDE world we live in! Who’s with us??
Hi all again.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and I’ve made a few observations. As good as it is to talk about our problem, we MUST be more focused on finding a solution.
It’s not just the gum!
Many (including myself) have complained of more than just an aversion to the gum. Breathing, popcorn, typing and eating are but a few more. These are all related. We are all having similar reactions. Tempers flare inside, but we ALL seem to hold it in for way too long. WHY???
Parents may hold the key.
My earliest recollections of my peeve were of my father clearing his throat (constantly i might add) and my mother ‘crunching’ her food more than i thought was humanly possible. Some have mentioned their parents in their posts. Can you remember when you first was annoyed by this crap?? Consulting with my mother revealed she always remembers my ’strange’ behaviour.
Stay tuned for more observations…..and in the meantime…..DO SOMETHING!!!!! There’s no point in us bitching and not trying new things.
CYA
I’d hate to say something that would normally make me feel extermely guilty in public, but since you can all relate, here it goes:
The thing that I find most therapeutic is revenge.
When I hear a gum snapper, I snap it myself. Just as rude. When I’m in the movie theater and I hear a rustling bag of potato chips (or crisps, depending on what side of the “pond” you are located) I rustle back, for twice as long a duration. I mimic the sounds constantly. Especially when somebody chews gum with their mouth closed and the sound is nasally and comes out their sinuses. I truly delight in seeing the original offender get at least as agitated as me. I know acting this way is morally wrong, but God it feels good.
The worst problem I am dealing with right now is a co-worker who brings in an entire Igloo Cooler full of ICE CHIPS! (I kid you not). She chews ice chips all day long, every day. It’s constant and doesn’t stop. What’s equally bad, if not worse is the sound of the ice chips sliding back and forth in her plastic cup (“schnyalff schnyauwwlff”). I made a light-hearted joke to her and said “you’re gonna wear your teeth down,” and she said “sorry sir, I can’t help it.” She must have an obsessive compulsive disorder of her own; one known as an oral fixation. The problem is, I am in a slightly more strict environment: the Army. I’m not even going to attempt complaining about the situation to my boss.
Of course I have tried treatment with a military mental health professional. I have been there three times and he hasn’t diagnosed me with anything yet. He just tells me to take a deep breath and relax. I get symptoms that are similar to anxiety attacks: nausea, profuse sweating, an adrenaline rush and I start to cry. I also get muscle cramps and pains in my arms and legs. I feel my therapist so far is trying to diagnose the symptoms rather than the root problem.
I too, feel that I have been emotionally abused as a child. My mother had a habit of hitting me for doing absolutely nothing. When I asked her what I did wrong she would hit me harder for “talking back.” Then she crafted the issue to make it my fault by using my question as an example. My grandmother was the same way….bless her soul. Quite frankly I think the two of them would hit me and say mean sarcastic things to me WHILE they were chewing obnoxiously and I created an aversion to it, which sadly I feel is irreversible.
I think maybe we should all build a commune off in the woods someplace and live together. The only requirements for admittance are that we promise not to chew anything in front of each other.
Cheers!
Hey Steve, I’ve read that the ice crunching thing is a result of sexual frustration. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the source – but I really did read it and it wasn’t a joke. I also know someone who has had some serious dental problems that they’ve attributed to constant ice crunching. Thousands of dollars worth of implants.
A solution to our problem would be great, but reading these posts, I’m not too hopeful for one. I don’t think most offenders are offended by duplications of their actions. A co-worker who’s about 10 feet away is POUNDING on her keyboard right now, but I don’t think she’d notice if I started pounding away. Seems most people have more “filters” than we do.
The parent connection is an interesting thought, from Kurt’s post. I’m adopted, yet my dad (no genetic connection of course) shares a bit of the same aversion to gum as I do -only I think his is more of an adversion to popping – not necessarily chewing. Oddly enough, I remember my mom popping gum when I was very young (sadly enough, it’s one of my earliest memories) and part of that memory is my dad asking her to stop. She still chews, but I mentioned (repeatedly) that a co-worker was driving me nuts with her gum chewing and she finally got the hint and doesn’t do it around me. However, she’ll still make this weird mouth smack noise for no reason…like she’s lost without the gum. Another strange thing, if someone crunches ice – it will drive her nuts, but gum is no problem.
I’m not close to either parent and had more conflict with my dad than mom when growing up. I have no siblings to compare to. It’d be interesting to find a genetic relative to find out if anyone I’m genetically linked to has this “problem”.
Therapeutic revenge story: I was once in a temporary job where I had nothing to lose, sitting next to a popping dumb-gumhead. Got a hold of a sheet of plastic bubble wrap, and when she popped, I’d immediately pop one of the bubbles in the wrap. POP – POP! POP – POP! Til the supervisor came out and told us ALL to knock it off. Problem solved… temporarily.
Unfortunately, such tactics in a permanent work setting can escalate into a nasty situation which I want to avoid at all costs. The pig next to me usually has HER headphones on while she slobbers, clicks, snaps and pops away. MY headphones are my only defense. I also time my breaks and lunch at opposite times for relief. Sigh…
It’s just so sad that these people don’t understand or seem to care about how they look. They look like stupid slobs that have no manners at all. Where were these people’s parents at? I know if I had a kid and they chewed like that they’d be in trouble. You don’t chew like a cow! Plus, what is up with these people that feel it necessary to eat or chew their cud while on the phone? I can’t tell you how that infuriates me! I’d like to reach through the phone and choke them! I think for me, part of the anger is that I know I can’t stop the sound. I’m ok with doing any and all of the sounds I complain about because I know if I’m making them, I can stop at any time but I can’t stop the noise when someone else is doing it. Has anybody ever thought about that? My doctor just put me on Lexapro and I am going in for counseling. Hopefully this helps-I doubt it but maybe.
Sheryl: What sort of drug is Lexapro? Please keep us informed of your progress.
I’m going one more time on August 19th to see the army doctor and if he doesn’t provide me with any additional suggestions I may visit a civilian doctor.
Here’s one more thing I would like everyone to consider: Could it be a form of attention defecit disorder that is bothering us? I’ve seen people on this message board discuss things like obsessive/compulsive, depression, hyperacusis, and misophonia, etc. etc. but no word of ADD. There is a website out there somewhere that has about 6 different variations of ADD, all attributed to different brain mappings. There are slightly different symptoms for each type. I have pretty much a blanket form of each type, but one stands out more than the rest for me. Most of them involve the inability to concentrate and being easily distracted.
As far as the horrible noises go, I feel that I can’t quite categorize them as “distractions” because they drive me crazy even if I’m not trying to concentrate on anything else. But they ESPECIALLY distract me if I am trying to concentrate on a task. If the task involves finer motor skills, the noises cause me to get really clumsy and drop stuff on the floor, mess it up, etc.
I might persue the inattentive ADD angle. Best of luck to everyone, and please keep posting, because it feels better to know that there are others out there like me.
Cheers!
Steve: Lexapro is an anti depressive medicine. I think you’re right about the ADD but I think it’s a mixture of these things for us. If I’m hearing noise I can’t concentrate on anything else but that noise and it drives me crazy. Then I think that I tune my hearing to listen for those noises because I know they drive me crazy-I wait for it to happen because I know it’s inevitable.
My experience with Lexapro has been ok but I had the chance to test it out with the noises today. My friend has been stapling, stapling, stapling papers today and it has driven me nuts. It’s a constant thwap thwap thwap and I had to turn up my headphones to not go crazy. I found that the Lexapro hasn’t dulled my senses to the point where noises don’t drive me crazy. I don’t think anything will. I’m still afraid to go to certain places for fear of these dreaded noises! Why can’t we just live in a noise free world? LOL Hope everybody is doing good!
I refuse to believe that I have ADD, ADHD, Obsessive/Compulsive, Depression or any other disorder. I am normal, these obnoxious noise makers are the ones with the disorder, lack of common courtesy. I do admit that their lack of courtesy may soon send me over the edge into clinical insanity, then, and only then, can people tell me that I have a disorder!
Just have to share with you all. I found out this weekend that my new next-door neighbor plays the drums (I live in an apartment). CAN YOU BELEIVE IT?!!! What moron plays the drums in an apartment!
I went to a health seminar this weekend, I may have found a magic pill (all natural, not a prescription). I’ll keep you posted…
I can’t believe there are so many like me. This is amazing.
An hour ago I was actually crying while clicking on random mental health websites trying desperately to find a name for whatever afflicts me. Then I stumbled on these postings and I feel like I’m with family or something. I don’t feel as alone. Still at a higher blood pressure than the general oblivious public but not alone. Thanks, everyone.
I was hired a week ago at a GREAT job after months of searching for anything, and have found that I have several disgusting co-workers that I MUST AVOID at all costs. As of yet I have no idea which cubicle they will decide to put me in but I feel intense, encompassing dread when considering the possibilities for neighbors. I would definitely consider headphones but unfortunately my job entails frequent client calls (inbound and outbound), using a regular headset that only covers one ear. That dread never goes away. To make matters worse, the company is sending all of us new co-workers to New York for 2 weeks of training. This means rooming with someone (educated guess it’s going to be Kari, my worst gum-snapping/smacking nightmare). This also means 8am-5pm in a quiet classroom environment with this girl plus whomever Corporate decides to torment me with. Oh yes, and she will be on the plane ride from Seattle as well. Does anyone else take exception to the advice, “Chew gum on the plane ride so the pressure in your ears stay equalized.”??? I’m breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about being trapped on an airplane with 150 gum-gnawers. Like many of you I also hate to SEE others chew gum, especially when it’s open-mouthed. When I inadvertently see someone in their car window doing that while driving through an intersection I am filled with a consuming disgust and hatred, even though I cannot hear it or see it any longer.
This is taking over my life. I am terrified at how unhappy I may be at my job. I fear I might die if I have to sit there in silence and endure it. I have planned my life around this obsession. I feel real and deep hatred for people who chew gum even once loudly. I cannot spend any time with my mom. She always looks at me like I’m some kind of mystery when I reiterate the fact that I hate to hear her snap her gum.
I’m curious: has anyone else developed a disgust for people who slurp drinks (basically any noise made while drinking)??? I have trained my boyfriend to abstain from this but I feel like a tyrannical crazy bi*ch of a girlfriend. I’m sure many of you can relate.
THANK YOU. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to hear your experiences. Find your comfort zone and do what it takes to live your life there. No matter how sensitive WE are, it is THEY who are being rude and obnoxious.
I’m curious about the miracle pill Rita spoke of. I’m apprehensive about saying anything to my Doctor, I’m afraid she’ll think I’m crazy – just like everyone else (except all of you) does. My life is pretty much a living hell. I hate my neighborhood because of constant basketball players and the noise they create, office is hell because of chewers and loud keyboard pounders and normal activities like going to the movies are almost out of the question. My husband thinks I’m nuts and doesn’t understand why “everyone” else has no problem with these noises.
As for the slurping/eating noises Sarah mentioned – yes, they bug me too. Another one that gets me is when someone is scraping the bottom of a bowl (clink, clink, clink). One thing I noticed, if someone chews gum with their mouth open there’s a good chance they eat in a similar way. Disgusting..
i want to thank sheryl for telling me about this board. i can relate to ALL of these posts and some had me LAUGHING so much because we all seem to have a good sense of humor, even though we’re “going crazy”………….i have been diagnosed a.d.d. and o.c.d. but i never believed it and didn’t want to take their medications to make me like a “zombie”…………..i have always been bothered by chewing sounds, started as a kid when dad would CHEW LIKE A COW while telling us kids to “chew with your mouth closed” and mom, snapping her gum, i would have to leave the room without telling her why. i couldn’t escape the dinner table and my dad’s chewing. what a nightmare. also, he whistled (no tune) just whistled LOUD AND SHRILL and i wanted to run but nooooooo, i could not go out. these sounds acutally make me twitch, cringe….i was in a meeting once and a girl was snapping her gum and that is all i could hear, i looked around and it didn’t seem to be bothering anyone else and i looked at her like “i’m going to rip that right out of your mouth” but she just didn’t get it. i had to leave the meeting. there is another board, they hyperacusis network and you can check out the bulletin board there, many posts about eating noises and all the others. most recently, i cannot tolerate ANYONE on the keyboard except “me” of couse and the basketball player who’s BOUNCING BALL over my back fence forces me to close my window and i can still hear it. marsha johnson, ms, from the hyperacusis network, you can read her posts there, is trying to help me now, through e-mail and she even called me. very nice woman. thanks again, sheryl, for sending me to this board. i just hope we can figure out a solution. donnie
W, a friend of mine told me about the ‘magic pill’ I mentioned. I haven’t tried it yet, I just know my friend really likes it. It can’t be bought at the store, she ordered it to be shipped to me, to arrive in a week or so. I’ve asked her for more info. I’ll share ASAP, I completely understand everyone’s desperation!!
It is such a relief to find people with the same issue. I work in a cubicle across from a gum snapper. I guess I’m overly sensitive to noises because no one else seems to notice.
But, get this, they snap it in any situation…whether it be DURING church services (yes, we go to the same church), in a meeting, on the phone, etc. And speaking of church, I think it should be called Church of the Gum Snappers. I can’t believe the manners. They have none. They do this during church services, during Bible class, etc. They’re so loud people turn around. They even pop gum. I admit I pop bubbles but not during meetings and services and I rarely do it. But come on how rude is to be popping whatever during meetings, on the phone,…it’s like cell phone etiquette….people have NONE.
I think I’m going deaf from having my earphones on EVERYDAY, except on every other Friday when they’re not at work.
I so wish I could put a little popper right behind their ear that would go off every couple of minutes to DRIVE THEM CRAZY LIKE IT DRIVING ME!!! AAARGHHHH
My cubicle neighbor walked away a few minutes ago…..I live for moments like this….nice and quiet…..
But not only do they snap gum but they talk loud, laugh loud,….and they have co-worker friends that talk and laugh just as loud.
AM I CRAZY….AM I A NUT JOB?!?!?!?!?
You’re not crazy Geeyanna, unless we all are because obviously we’re all just as bothered by these noises. I feel like I’m not being kind to my ears either as I have to crank my music up so loud to drown out the gum sounds.
A friend of mine recommended an herbal supplement called Nutri Calm(sp?). I’ve ordered it, but not received it yet. It’s available at http://www.myherblady.com/.
Looking forward to calmer days with Nutri Calm…I pray that the stuff actually works!!
Rita,
Let me know how it works for you. And thanks for the response.
Donnie,
I spoke with Marsha Johnson as well. She seems to be one of the few people treating our problem, which she calls “Soft Sound Sensitivity Syndrome”. Her methodology seems sound (no pun intended). I am considering it myself. Please keep us posted on your progress.
Anyone can read more about it here:
http://www.hyperacusis.org/wst_page9.html
Mark (AKA Gumblaster)
mark, glad to see you here. i agree, we are NOT CRAZY but obviously, way more sensitive to these gross sounds than other people. thanks for posting the hyperacusis website. any of you that think you’re “crazy”, go there and scroll down to some of the subjects like “eating sounds make you crazy”, etc. and, geeyanna, you, especially, check out the site. it was the first place i found online that made me feel like i was NOT alone. there are a lot of us and “i feel” that these peole who think we “want” to hear them snap, chew, click, shuffle when they walk, THEY have the problem!!!!!! everyone, hang in there. donnie
At this very moment I’m having a bowl of Rice Crispies and I didn’t even have to go through the trouble of getting the cereal and milk. I keep turning up my radio higher and higher, I should be deaf by the end of the month.
I need a break from all the noise so I’m taking a day off. Too bad I have to come back. I keep reminding myself I could be jobless and on the street.
Donnie, thanks for encouragement. I’m definitely visiting the site when I get home. And I think I’ll invest in some type of herbal supplement. Hopefully, that will help.
The hyperacusis site is the best, I printed the soft-sound sensitivity section off and have a check up in November – I may take it along. I try to make it through by continuously telling myself it could be worse. At least we can read each others rants and don’t have some kind physically debilitating disease. I’ll be interested to hear if the “nutri-calm” works.
I didn’t take the time to read the responses so sorry if I’m repeating
tell the boss, let him/her tell this rude person to stop asap. Tell the boss you don’t want to be identified as the tattle tale lol
I hate gum chewing smackers too
if it is interferring in your work day then you boss should be aware of it
I love both this site and the hyperacusis site. I found Donnie there and now her and I are pen pals! Thanks to Hyperacusis, I found I’m not alone either and it makes me feel a little better knowing that. I also appreciate this site-there’s alot of funny and nice people on here. Recently I started taking Lexapro for depression but it hasn’t done anything for my fear of noises. Why do people have to make so many noises? Can’t they just be quiet??? Take care all and have a good quiet night.
I have to say I’ve noticed that some people seem to be a source of all kinds of irritating noise. If they chew and snap gum, they seem to eat annoyingly loud – mouth open, make slurping noises when drinking, pound their keyboard and have that extra saliva sound when talking (know what I mean?). Or maybe I just start to focus on one person when I know they’re an offender and after that every move they make irks me.
Make sure your gum-chewing associate is in hearing range and tell a story to another co-worker that invloves a character that chews gum loudly and make that character sound as despicable as possible, i.e. “I was waiting for the bus when this gum-smacking hooker approached an elderly gentlemen next me…” If she doesn’t get the hint, repeat the story or make up another one involving the irritating habit. If all fails, kill her.
I’m not on the same page as all of you, but i do live with someone who is. This condition has deeply affected our lives. A simple joy such as a eating dinner together as a family is more of a nuisance due to the sounds. I love my husband dearly as does our son. We hope to live a normal life together one day. I am hoping to find a cure for this condition. In the mean time my son and I have chosen to give my husband a break from noises by trying to avoid noise producing situations around him. However, it seems that the more we try to help, the more he is disturbed when noise evoking situations occur. I hope that our actions are not some how making his condition worse….
Thankfully, he does not look at us like we are rude or pigs, but he realizes he is the one with the problem. However, he does get extremely irritated. I can’t help it that I breathe a certain way or noises are produced when we eat….we try very hard to be considerate. I am just thankfull that we had it out and the truth about the seriousness of his condition came out. I knew certain noises annoyed him, but just not to the extent it does. Knowing the intesity and truth of the situation is the first step, as a family, that we can hopefully get to the bottom of this mess…please let me know if someone finds help. He is truly my everything. I can’t and won’t be without him, but I want the quality of our life to be optimal. I am sorry that all of you have to live with this condition..is it because you’re so smart and notice everything. My husband is extremely intelligent…I don’t know, but if you do please tell me the answers..mary@maryjaneporter.com
I am Mary’s Husband from the post above. It is a relief to find that the issues I have been dealing with for pretty much since I can rememeber, is not just a mental issue with myself, but possibly a condition that I have. What that tells me is that there may be hope. I have the same issue with noises and I get the same emotions from them as I have read many others do. It is a horrible thing to go through and I have finally just put the foot down and decided to seek help. I have seen a doctor who has now referred me to a neurologist. He feels it might be some type of ADD. I am not sure if he is right, but it does make sense, since the noises grab our attention and that is what annoys us. Or at least I think that is what does it. When I hear them I can not focus on what I want to focus on instead I wait for the next time and seek out where it comes from, then all my attention goes to trying to ignore it or get away from it. If maybe there is something that can allow me not to be distracted by it, then possibly it would help. If anybody has already gone this route and it has not helped, please let me know. I will also keep you informed of my progress.
Tim
I must say I don’t know how I happened to choose this site but I’m very glad I did. It helps alot to know there are people I can relate to.
I like John Gault’s solution, although a bit extreme. I’ve often thought of hiring someone to kidnap the people in the condo upstairs and locking them up in a room with loud music and other indescribable and annoying noises.
Too funny, Geeyanna and John! Sometimes when I feel like I’m going to “lose it” with one of these pigs, I try to envision similar scenes.
Has anyone seen a movie called “Serial Mom” starring Kathleen Turner? It’s a great comedy, and she has a “thing” about gum-chewing. I love the part where she hits an obnoxious teacher with her car; he hits the road and the gum flops out of his mouth. Damn near leaves me cheering!
Or fixing it so whenever they try to talk a big bubble comes out instead and when they pop it, it sticks to their face….it covers their entire face except their eyes so you can see the fear, embarrassment, and terror in them…because the gum won’t come off….I think there’s a movie like that with aliens that stick to your face.
That reminds me of that scene in the play “Chicago” when the jailbird women tell their story of how they got there in the song “He Had it Coming”. One said:
“You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie. Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew — POP. Well, I came home this one day and I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and there’s Bernie layin’ on the couch, drinkin’ a beer and chewin’. No, not chewin’. Poppin’. So I said to him, I said, “Bernie, you pop that gum one more time . . . ” and he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots . . . into his head.”
Mark (AKA Gumblaster)
LOL at all the recent posts! I think of all kinds of things to do to offenders. Like, I’d like to give them a chemo treatment in their teeth. I also focus on the offending sound and can’t focus on anything else but the NOISE! I can relate to Tim and Mary-my family has a hard time with me, especially when I get mad and practically bark their heads off telling them to spit out their gum. I’ve learned to chill out and ask nicely to have them spit out the gum and they relate better that way. Don’t get me wrong-I still am furious when I see them chew gum but I know that if I yell they’re two times as likely not to spit it out as if I be nice. I still want to rip their heads off. It’s irrational yes but I can’t help what goes through my mind. Tim, I hope the neurologist helps. I’m going trough counseling now and on Lexapro for depression. Have a great quiet day all.
I definitely feel better knowing that I am not the only one with this issue about gum. I used to equate people who smack gum with cows, but then I thought to myself, “What did a cow ever do to you to be so offensive to it?” So I quit equating them. Now I just feel that they are the most disgusting people alive.
It is definitely manners, most people will be louder and more obnoxious if they know it bothers you. Oh, how nice.
I like this site. I would like more recommendations on what to do. I have been suffering with this problem since I was a teenager. The only way I made it through college when I was in my mid-late 20’s was a diskman and earplugs.
I like the way a lot of people use them at work, but I don’t have the type of job where it is practical to use headphones or earplugs.
I am definitely hypersensitive to sounds. I can hear it quite well from far away. I also freak out if I know someone is chewing gum around me, whether they are making noise “yet” or not. This, I am sure is because of the anticipation of the noise they are going to make.
I read earlier about a woman who was writing about her husband’s problem. She said he knew it wasn’t anything with them, but that her husband had problems. I feel that this is wrong. Using the fact that people like her husband are hypersensitive doesn’t make smacking right…..
Teresa,
I am the woman who was writing about my husband’s problem. You’re right, smacking is not right. However, what one considers to be smacking can be a problem. I’m not sure of the severity of your sensitivity to sound, but in reagrds to my husband, his sensitivity is a major problem of his, which in turn has become a problme of ours. I am very courteous eater and do not chew gum. If my lips happen to have a bit of saliva on them and a slight sound is made, which irritates my husband, this is no fault of my own. He also makes such sounds, which he can not stop. He has a problem with soft sound sensitivity. If I was rude and chompped gum and ate with my mouth open I would agree with you, but I don’t. I have tried my hardest not to make any sounds, but my hardest is not good enough. I am a healthy young female. So, natural noises I make are sure to be a lot less abrupt than that of an older unhealthy person, which brings me back to the fact that this is a problem of my husbands. He can not stop the world from moving their mouths or breathing. So, the next logical step to solving his problem is to look into the only source he has control over, which is himself. We are looking for help. If we find any I will post an update.
You are correct, Mary, I agree. That does present a problem. I mistook what you wrote and thought you were meaning that it was only the problem of the person with the sensitivity and that people in general didn’t need to be polite. I apologize for the misunderstanding.
Please, Teresa, no need to apologize and I thank you for sharing!
Wow………I can’t tell you what a relief this is to find this site. I thought I was overly critical of people and it was me. I rarely meet anyone who shares these same sentiments about this nasty gum chewing habit. I always have people say to me- ignore it. Yeah, right. All I feel is RAGE when I listen to this nasty noise! I am getting ready to take the CPA exam and am more afraid of the noise I will encounter in the room not the test! Trying to find some anti-hearing device that will give me some relief. A huge thank you to the person that started this thread.
And yes, I have confronted people chomping & cracking their gum- they will stop for a little bit and start right back up again. So, I tend to find myself avoiding them and continuing the friendship. If someone asked me to stop doing something, I would happily oblige. However most people don’t understand what we go through and just think WE are being rude.
hi there all, have just read all the posts over a few cups of tea.Well, strangely enough gum smacking popping does not bother me at all.Lucky me you say…well…no.For me, like some of the other posts it can be anything from whistling to pen clicking to finger drumming.
It must be the exact same root problem as I have been nodding my head in sympathy with every post.It sends me almost homicidal and the many mentions of “fists slamming into faces” made me smile in agreement.Like most of us , I have felt it was just me and was a freak.
I dont have any other family members who have this problem and I dont recall any situation that made me hate pen clickers or whistlers in the past.It didnt bother me at all at school and probably only started as I nudged 30.I have no idea how…there doesnt seem to be a defining moment.10 years ago , I was fine…now I avoid all situations where I “may” be exposed, not just the obvious situations where its almost guaranteed.If i had the money I feel I would buy a wee island and leave society.I dont want to but thats the way it is.
Incidentally, although it probably is more successfull with some more than others ,I went to a few hypnotherapy sessions and there was no noticeable change.The hypnotherapist was using a volume control technique.Picturing a tv style volume to turn it right down.At fifty quid a session , I couldnt go on.It may work but I think it would need a bank loan.
Quality of life is so much lower than it could be.I am not sure if there is a cure.Anybody who has succesfully beaten it would surely have left us a “how to” guide knowing what we are going through!Or maybe thats just my Scottish outlook..ha ha.Any suggestions before I lose my job, my house etc.regards,
billy
Thank the Goddess this site is working again! For a while there I couldn’t make any posts at all.
Glad to see there is still a place where we can talk about loud gum smackers. I empathize so strongly with what everyone is saying…
Mary – I ried to email you at the link you gave above (several months ago)but my email bounced. Did anyone ever set up a place where we can chat online about this?
That would be rally cool…
Yes, there’s a community called SenseDefense on Livejournal that’s about sensory issues like this in general, and there are a lot of folks with the chewing problem as well. The community is here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/sensedefence/, you can join it here: http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=sensedefence, and if you don’t have an LJ account, you can get a free one here: https://www.livejournal.com/create.bml
S,
Thank you very much for posting that site about Sensory Defensiveness. I had heard about Disorder of Sensory Integration before but the most of the symptoms didn’t apply. But when I did an internet search on “Sensory Defensiveness” it blew my mind.
Besides being annoyed by mouth sounds I am also very particular about the fabric of clothes that I wear.
I took the test on the site below and I scored a 10 which means “definite sensory defensiveness”.
http://www.temple.edu/OT/Neuro_Behavioral_Center2.htm
Is there anyone else on this board particular about the feel of fabrics?
Mark
I’m very sensitive to wool. In fact, I can’t wear it.
Hello all! I have been reading all the posts on this board with so many mixed feelings. On the one hand I don’t wish this horror on anyone, yet at the same time such a feeling of relief that I am not the only one. That other people such as myself know the madness that this condition brings. I admire all of us for the courage to seek out help and comfort as well as well as speak your truths. Your willingness to try and find a way out of the trap of it. I so want that for us all. It’s interesting how so many of us have the same sounds that affect us the way they do. The gum cracking, the pen clicking. By some blessing I was able to let go of the keyboard typing thing. But the gum and the pen clicking remain sheer torture. Certain birds like blue jays and ones that just sit and chirp slowly and monotonously, as well as children screeching and crowing at the top of their lungs almost send me to the ground in agony. For myself, I sense that there is a huge psychological component. Very controlling, jealous, cruel, manipulative & loud mother.(Father & grandparents too) I remember at age of about 3 & 4 my father snoring and clicking his dentures in the night and I felt I would go mad even back then.. My first ex used to suck his teeth and that would also make me totally nuts. Even when people suck their fingers really loud to get all the drippy food off them freaks me out too. I just hate how it seems to have such a great power over me. That I am not able to filter the sounds out. I have looked into autism as well as hearing damage, of which I know I had a wicked ear infection as a kid, that I am sure left some mmjor damage, as well as an aspirin overdose which I hear might be a contributer. I don’t like the huge anger that hits me instantly, and the way I have to run away quickly so I don’t freak other people out. I hate planning when and where I go all the time. Hoping and praying no one will be chewing gum in line so I don’t have to lose my place. I limit myself in amazing ways because of this, and I really feel as if I have no choice. I finally flipped out last week at work, because of the same thing you all have spoken of (it was because of you brave souls that I was able to do this!) Thank you!! This woman kept doing it even after she was asked not to. Finally I told my supervisor that I was freaking out. My supervisor is a very cool person and she told her no gum…ever. I know they think I am a freak but I don’t care. It’s real to me and I deserve consideration as much as the next person. I am the kind of person that if you told me you could not tolerate something I would not forget 10 times in a row and wonder why you avoided me. I get it!! I would do everything in my power to ease your suffering and not disregard your feelings as ridiculous. I realize that the more people involved and the more dislikes involved the more complicatd it all becomes, but the willingness is there. I love it that you all get it too!! It’s a respect thing I guess. Too bad we have to just about win the lottery to pay for any kind of treatment, not to meniton finding proper treatment in the first place!!!
Respectfully……Lisa
I like my European friends’ sarcastic view of gumchewing:
1. America, the country where ADULTS chew gum.
2. Gumchewing: A sign of VAST intellectual reserves.
HA!
Only kids chew gum in Europe? That sounds like heaven.
I found that in N. Ireland. They consider it very rude to smack gum.
Today, when I was at work, a woman was there in the break room. She was talking with me and stuck in a piece of gum and started smacking on it while having a conversation with me. I couldn’t handle it. I just slammed my hands on the table, got up, said I was leaving and left. It was not very polite, but I find this to be typical. People smack gum in your face and wonder whatever the problem could be when you become uncomfortable. Don’t they understand that it is disgusting to do that?
I agree with Lisa-it is a respect thing and anyone who says they forget not to pop and smack their gum is full of crap! You aren’t forgetting, I told you like 10 times that it bothers me and you forget every single time? Bull!! I think these people are just rude and don’t give a crap about anyone else’s feelings and the world revolves around them and who cares about anyone else’s dislikes! Someone in my office told me a dislike of theirs and I respect that. If someone can come to me and tell me something that bothers them, it must be a pretty big bother for them to tell me and so I refrain from doing what they dislike. I would wish it on everyone else in the whole world and then maybe this world would be a lot quiter. I wish there was a cure but doesn’t seem like there is so I wish people would just cut out the noise! Hope everyone is doing well.
Sheryl
Hi everyone!
WOW!! I last posted on May 11th, 2004 and didn’t see any other posts after that. I rather unwillingly let go of this board……
Today I was driven back to it by an old man with false teeth who happily crunched away on Doritos as he read the newspaper…..THAT happened YESTERDAY AFTERNOON……but the sound stayed in my ears for nearly two hours, and today I’m finding that the incident has gotten the better of me……
The madness of this affliction!!! There is no rhyme or reason to it….!!!! Although gum chewing is not necessary in order to survive, people DO have to EAT occasionally!!!! I struggle so…..and at times such as these, I lose all ability to cope…..I avoid any and all situations which will set this off….yet some are unavoidable…..
And…..when faced with situations such as these I become so angry. Yesterday all I wanted to do was to choke that old man until he turned blue in the face……where does that anger come from??? The helplessness of the situation??? The inability to cope????
Lately I’ve been losing hope….people whistling, breathing, eating, popping gum, finger nail clipping, clicking pens, picking at their hands and nails……all of these noises and more will make me stark raving insane. I’ve been attempting to deal with this for so long — with the trained professionals (who usually put me back in therapy and on yet another wonderful new drug), and also on my own…..and it seems there is no real solution, let alone any type of cure….I have resigned myself to the fact that this is an affliction that I will most likely have for the rest of my life……
If this board ever did/does get a chatroom going, please let me know!
Thanks!
– Pam
Pam,
I understand how you feel with the helplessness and the inability to cope. I have avoided a lot of social situations just to avoid the sound, some like work or school, you can’t get out of, so what do you do? For me, in college I wore earplugs and couldn’t really hear the teacher. In work, I leave. Fortunately, I have had employment situations where that is an option.
Eating bothers me, too, if they are smacking or sucking on their teeth. I just figure that it is all the same basic sound, which is why it bothers me. It is probably the same with you.
Another thing I find with gum and food is the anticipation of the person who will smack but hasn’t smacked yet. This is almost as bad as the actual smacking, in my opinion. I am very tensed up waiting for them to make the noise. It is aweful.
From reading about all of your experiences and insights, I’ve been thinking about the irritation that wells up inside me when I hear gum chewing/popping (even mild), as well as crunching and throat clearing, and a few other common noises. The idea that the problem may be mine more then theirs has me considering the possible causes.
If this is a disorder we’re suffering from, I agree with the idea that it affects mostly people of above-average intelligence because 1) the posts on this site are uncommonly articulate and well-written compared to those on an average bbs, and 2) it implies that I’m smart.
My boss (female, late 20s) chews gum for about 6 out of 8 working hours and pops it, pretty mildly but I still can’t stand the sound of it. (Parents tell their kids to chew with their mouths closed at meals. Why not also when chewing gum?)
My co-worker and good friend (female, mid 40s) occasionally chews gum like a pit bull gnashing on a rawhide chew toy. One time, while chewing like this, she confided in me that she was doing the same thing at her last therapy session when her therapist gently asked her, “do you chew gum when you’re on dates?”
“I’m so sorry, how embarrassing!” my friend said to her therapist.
“Oh, it doesn’t bother me, but it may bother the person you’re dating,” her therapist replied.
All of us know that my friend’s therapist must’ve been lying to be polite. (She must also be pretty intelligent, being a shrink and all. She must be one of us.)
Here are the results of my own self-head-shrinking: I remember that growing up, dinnertime was usually a very tense and stressful part of the day. My mother was overworked, and usually in a bad mood by evening time. The same went for my father. Mom ate voraciously, often angrily and always noisily. I grew to loathe the sound of chewing and smacking and even that scraping sound the fork makes when you bite it with your teeth when you’re taking a bite. Grumpy old dad cleared his throat loudly about every 30 seconds, or so it seemed.
But was it the sounds themselves that bothered me so much? Or was it that I associated these sounds with the tension and overall bad mood that loomed over the table at dinnertime? (Why the hell did they have to insist that we all ate dinner together every night, anyway?)
I wonder if it was this mild trauma of my childhood that programmed me to despise the sounds of chewing, throat clearing and teeth scraping on a fork. (Remember in Clockwork Orange, the way the reprogrammed Alex got sick whenever he heard the music of Beethoven?)
So now that I have this fresh new insight into my problem, what steps have I been taking to get some relief? Well, the same thing as before. Cramming earphones into my ears and cranking up the Internet radio at work. And trying to remind myself that people don’t mean to be annoying, although I’m nowhere near the point of really believing it. But I’m trying.
Hello, Everyone
I can no longer sit by and watch you all cope with this on your own. I too as I have previously posted. Am a severe gum-phobe also to an extreme. And I feel as if I can somehow contribute. To helping us all have a place of our own. And yes, No gum chewing or chewing for that matter allowed lol. So i am going to begin the process. Of putting a forum for us togather ASAP. I feel that way to many people feel on thier own and completly hopeless as i did. And once i found this site and read everyone’s posts i was absolutly exstatic. I feel the need to pass that on and to try to help other’s of the same affliction in need. I am going to need some help putting this togather for us. Such as a name for the site / forums. And forum topic setup etc. So if anyone would like to help out it would be great. I am more than open to anyone’s opinions and idea’s. As this will be “our” site. Made by Anti-Popper’s for Anti-Popper’s. I can be reached via e-mail at HaXHaX1424@hotmail.com or by AIM/AOL at HaXHaX1424. I look forward to hearing from you all. And the more help the merrier. Also i feel i should add. I recieved therepy for this when I was 18 years old. They couldn’t help much or solve the probelm. But they did do a mental eval on me. As some of you had mentioned that intelligence may play a factor. My theripist told me that was true. Supposedly many people with above normal intelligence are afflicted by this. I was found to have an IQ of 136 and he thought that played a role. I also have ADHD/ADD. And i feel as if the ADD play’s a role too. As if i just focus in on what i don’t want to hear. I would do anything to have the ability to turn this off or filter it out. But i can’t for the life of me do that. Well im going to go get started on the forum for us. I look forward to it’s launch and hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Rob
Contact E-Mail: HaXHaX1424@hotmail.com
I wonder what happened to Phil, the brave soul who started this whole thing?
What a relief to find this site. I can sympathize with everyone on here. Although my sensitivity to actual gum chewing is not as pronounced as most of you, crunching sounds ( Chips,Popcorn, Hard Candy) will quickly put me over the edge. I have read several people’s comments mention the rage that build towards the offender( movie theatres especially). My wife thinks Im crazy when I mention the irrational feelings that overcome me when I am in that situation. Glad to see its not just me. And of course I live in the US where people just love to eat as loudly as possible!
God, what a relief to “meet” you all.
I spent about a half an hour in the car with my sister today, who just chews the gum with her mouth wide open, hideously. I am not “allowed” to say anything to anyone in my family, because I am the “crazy one.” I’ve been this way for at least 20 years. Family gets furious, even if I ask politely. So today I turned up the radio in the car, but of course I could hear my sister’s gum above it all.
I am so sorry for those of you who have to work with people who do this. I am a professor in an urban college with lots and lots of gum chewers and I flat-out forbid gum, put it in my syllabus etc. And so do some other professors. What’s funny is when I remind a student- “lost the gum, please” they are generally embarrassed and get rid of it right away. I feel lucky I work in an environment I have so much control over.
Why is it so hard to tell people their gum bothers us? I have a friend who is ridiculous with it, insouciant teenaged chewing, and one night, in a rather swank restaurant, I ask her in the nicest way possible if she could please stop. She immediately left the table and stayed in the ladies room for fifteen minutes, and then didn’t speak to me for two days. I don’t see much of her anymore, even though she constantly invites me to the movies, where she chews gum all the while. Wonder why I never go??
Obviously the world won’t change. Which sucks. Because even though there is something hypersentitive about us, this ghastly open-mouthed chewing is really about incivility.
I totally agree with everyone. I truly believe the people who do this have absolutely no respect for the people around them. If I approached my co-worker about it she would totally flip out, not talk to me, have an attitude, etc., etc. I don’t know what would be worse? To have a Rice Crispie with alot of attitude or just a Rice Crispie. I was wondering where my milk was this morning. You know? To go with the “Rice Crispies”, SNAP, CRACKLE, POP…..
I’ve only mentioned my irritations to one person because everyone else would think I’m nuts.
Unfortunately, I live in a condo and I can hear EVERYTHING from all four walls (ie. heels on the floor, people running across the room, music, tv, talking). It’s like this incessant clicking in my ear that never stops. That’s how annoying it is. I ask my husband if he can hear the noises and he CAN’T!!! I don’t understand it. He can hear the obvious, loud “jack-hammer type” noises but that’s it. It’s driving me freakin’ nuts. Didn’t that guy on Silence of the Lambs have a muzzle and was strapped up from head to toe like an animal? An animal, that’s what they act like, an animal, stupid who doesn’t know what it’s doing so you have to put a muzzle on it. I wish I could blink and shut people up in that manner.
I wonder how long it will take until I’m deaf from my earphones? I think that would be a blessing in disguise.
I look forward to when we have a chatroom!!
If any psychologists out there are following all this, I’ll bet that with enough research a really good book could be written on this topic. I’d write it myself except that I don’t know much about psychology or doing research. Plus I’m too mentally exhausted every evening after 8 hours of working a dull job and listening to gum chewers.
I wonder, though, if eliminating all the sounds that currently irritate me would solve the problem, or if I would just find some new sounds to obsess on.
It also seems to me that people who chew gum all day long are dealing with some sort of stress or tension by gnashing constantly on chewing gum. There has got to be something about chomping that provides them with some sort of tension relief, and it must be an addiction like any other.
Personally, if I chew gum for more than a few minutes, I begin to feel sick and my jaws and teeth start hurting. I don’t think I could chew the same piece for hours on end if my life depended on it.
I’m guessing they must have a need to chew the same way others have a need to smoke, or drink, etc.
But I watch my supervisor chewing and chewing and chewing for hours and can’t help but wonder, don’t her jaws get tired? You’d think that eventually her jaws would come unhinged and just hang open or something. Our teeth and jaws are clearly meant to bite and chew the food we eat and not to chew endlessly on a wad of rubber.
So I’m thinking, chewers must have some issues of their own. It’s just not natural!
I’m trying to deal with this problem by 1) understanding the reasons for my own hypersensitivity, and 2) understanding and sympathizing with the noise makers. But it’s not working!! I want to grab that gum and shove it down their throats!!
OK calm down. Breathe deeply. Put those earphones in and crank up that music. Anyone heard the new Green Day album? It’s really good (and noisy enough to drown them out).
It also seems like the chewers have a need to be noticed. I don’t think, at least with my co-worker, it ends with gum. They talk loud, laugh loud, interrupt conversations to make sure they are the focus of attention.
Any thoughts?
You may be on to something. The co-worker I mentioned earlier who chews REALLY loudly and obnoxiosly also has a borderline neurotic need for recognition in the office, and gets very upset if she senses anyone else taking any credit for something that was her idea. She is extremely sensitive to others on our team “leaving her out” of conversations, etc.
And when you think about it, how could anyone making that much noise chewing and smacking not want attention on some level, even negative attention?
If that’s the case, maybe it would help to completely ignore them when they’re chewing and pay attention to them on the rare occasions when they’re not chewing. (Much as I hate doing this kind of thing). This would probably work better with a significant other than it would with a co-worker (cow-worker?) though.
Good point. I’d give accolades to my significant other way before I’d consider giving them to my cow-worker. Yes, however unfortunate it may or may not be I’d prefer not encouraging them, possibly blowing up their heads even more.
BIG LOVE TO ALL, that is except for my cube-mate!
We have been in the same office for almost 4 months, and everyday becomes harder and harder for me to sit in my chair. I work for an Indian firm, and am 1 of 2 Americans that work here. Obviously, the culture is different, but I assume that etiquette is not?!
My cube-mate makes all the nasty noises… chews gum like the sacred Himdu cow chewing CUD, burping, farting, loud exhales after a drink of tea…
I AM GOING OUT OF MY MIND!
I need to grow some balls, and tell this guy about my frustration. I have tried the RADIO ON AT FULL BLAST, and it did not work.
AAARGGGGGHHHHH!
Does anyone have any ideas on how to approach this culture clash?!
EOJ
FORUMS UPDATE,
Hello All,
I wanted to update everyone on the forums. I have been developing for us. Everything is coming out great. I have the PHP Config done and the layout is complete. But I have come to a few decisions I need help making. First we need a name for the site. I was thinking http://www.antigum.org or something to that effect. So please everyone give me some ideas. Also I need the topics everyone would like to discuss in the forums. And were going to need moderators and such. So if anyone is interested in being a moderator please let me know. I expect to have this complete and up in 3 weeks max. If everyone could give me some feedback and ideas it would be great. So please feel free to contact me or just post your ideas here. Thank You for all your help in advance.
P.S – Is there a medical name for what this problem is called ?
Sincerely,
Rob
http://WWW.SHOOTTHEMINTHEHEAD.COM Just kidding. The antigum.org sounds good.
Many kudos to you Rob for doing this. How about a forum that discusses or posts the websites to go to that explain the problem/solution (like the websites people have bee giving here)? Maybe a forum that covers gum chewing or chewing only and then other forums that discuss the different types of hyperacusis issues?
Rob,
Thanks for your efforts to set up the site.
The answer to your question “is there a medical name for this?” seems to be the mystery of the ages.
My latest discovery is that I suffer from “Sensory Defensiveness” because even though my main troubles are mouth sounds, I am also hypersensistive to many clothing fabrics. But there is already a forum for Sensory Defensiveness (as referenced in a previous post).
It begs the question of what we want to focus on.
Antigum.org puts the focus on gum and others in society who rudely make sounds with it that bother a subset of the population (us).
SoftSoundSensitivity.org (which is available) implies the problem is mainly ours and how we cope around people whose etiquette varies and to explore treatment for it. (I made reference to Soft Sound Sensitivity Syndrome in a previous post.)
Even though I like Antigum.org because it is mainly gum poppers/clickers/snappers that make annoying, repetitive sounds for prolonged periods of time, I prefer SoftSoundSensitivity.org because currently there is no site to explore this (possible) subset of hyperacusis or sensory defensiveness.
That’s my 2 cents.
Mark
Yes, Rob, this will be a great place for us to vent! And also, we can help each other understand and deal with our end of the problem (our sensitivity) and also brainstorm ways to educate the noisemakers on improving their manners.
EOJ, your cube-mate farts at his desk?? Oh, man, that goes way beyond just making unpleasant sounds. I’m inclined to think that it might not be a cultural thing though, because I have some Indian co-workers who are beyond polite. But I guess every culture has some real slobs, and your cube mate is one of them. I’m so sorry!!
It’s a losing game to fight this thing, this hypersensitivity to sounds: smacking, chomping, whatever they may be. To begin with, gum chewers know very well that they’re being offensive (some teacher along the line made them spit it out). It’s a power trip that they’re on, and you’re playing right into their hands by revealing that the gum chewing is getting to you.
Remember the old prayer? God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change… That’s the key. Serene acceptance is the thing to aim at. Give up trying to change the world. You can only change yourself. It’s entirely possible and it gives you an unimaginably superior power over the gum chewers of the world (and the boom boxers and all others who get their kicks from making other people miserable).
I was almost psychotic with a hypersensitivity to sounds for the first thirty years of my life. I was in such a mess over it that I made up my mind that I simply had to do something about it. It was truly a matter of “either solve this problem or die.” I succeeded in figuring out a system of coping (with the timely help of a brilliant psychiatrist) and for most of the last thirty-five years I’ve lived in nearly perfect peace with obnoxious sounds and the people who make them. I’m just not bothered anymore, and I feel quite triumphant about it.
I’ve described my system of coping with sounds in a book I’ve written about coping with pain. I could tell you that you need to go out and buy my book, but I’m sure I’d be thoroughly scolded for spamming. In memory of my mother, whose life was ruined by her “neurotic” reaction to noises, I’d really like to give this information away for free. But it’s a 15 page chapter and too long to post on a message board like this. I’ve thought of putting the whole thing on my website, but the website promotes my book, so that doesn’t seem quite kosher either. Any suggestions? Any interest?
Hello,
I really appreciate everyone’s great feedback. Your all being a huge help to the community. And Gumguru that was very impressive. And it personally makes allot of sense to me. I am very interested in your book. If you could e-mail me or post the information on where to buy it, that would be great. And also I agree with everyone that antigum.org is too specific. Because it’s allot more than just gum that bothers most of us. I can’t stand chips, gum, and popcorn. I won’t go to the movies or restaurants because of this. If I were president I would make gum, chips, anything crunchy illegal. And if you were a slob in public you would be kaned on national TV. Sorry for that minor rant. But I am going to narrow it down to the following names. SoftSoundSensitivity.org, hypersensitivesounds.org, and shoottheminthehead.org lol sorry I had to say it. As for the forum topics I am thinking the following. Fist topic, Hypersensitivity. Second topic, General Information, Third topic, Coping and Help, Fourth topic, Educating Others, Fifth topic, Rants, Sixth topic, Miscellaneous, Seventh Topic, Your Story. That is a very rough idea of the setup. I need better ideas for topics. So please feel free to post topics you would like discussed. And im going to need people to research this problem and hopefully write articles for the education of hypersensitivity. And anything else anyone thinks would be a great addition. Thank you all for all your great help so far. It’s really going to hopefully help educate others and help some people cope. Keep the great ideas coming everyone.
Sincerely,
Rob
gumguru-I’d really like to know what your book is. Please email me at slyfoxy46628@yahoo.com If I could be like you it would be great! I’ve lived with this for the last 33 years and don’t want to live my next 33 years with this problem. Thanks
Sheryl
I second Sheryl’s statement. My email is geeyanna@yahoo.com
Thanks,
Geeyanna
Dear gumguru,
I would like a copy of your book, it you could email me at tjvossler@yahoo.com.
I am looking forward to the site, ya’ll.
dear gumguru, i would also like a copy of yourbook., Hyperacusis, misophonia, phonophobia. obssevive compulse cleaning, panick attacks, you name it , i think ive got it.My life so far has been hell with sound sensitivity and after recently giving birth and discovering this website ive been to the doctor who has booked me in for a hearing test.My mother also was soundsensitive but it diassapeared when she was fourty(bassically when she started to go deaf.)I cant wait that long and I dont want to pass these problems onto my daughter. my email address is lealea109@hotmail.com.My heart goes out to all of you who suffer from these crippling disorders,problems and irratations. By the way gum chewing is my highest offender.
Fingernails on a chalkboard, squeaking a balloon with your hands, firecrackers exploding 2 inches from my head…none of these sounds bothers me at all. But gum chewing. I cannot stand it. The softest chewing irritates me. The sound of snapping gum makes me go postal (and feel sick!).
Please, what is it about the sound of gum chewing??
Lately I’ve been contemplating exactly what happens to me when I do hear a gum or food mouth noise, and it’s not so much that I hear the noise, I FEEL the noise immediately. It’s like my brain doesn’t have the device you need to filter out unwanted stuff. It skips over my body’s ability to reason and goes right to my nerves. I instantly get what feels like a chill up my spine, muscle cramps, and perspiration, all simultaneously. The worst part of it is, the only time I’ve noticed that noises like these don’t bother me is when I’m fairly buzzed on alcohol. What is my only alternative? To become an alcoholic? You can see how this one problem might gravitate into something far more severe. Most of you have indicated that psychoactive medication hasn’t worked. Is this still true? What do you make of my involuntary neurological symptoms?
Why do so many of us hate confrontation?
Kerry Patterson:
The reason people don’t like to do it typically is because they move silence to violence.They hold it inside until they become angry.
Kerry Patterson author of the book, Crucial Confrontation…
It would be like taking out a bowl full of cottage cheese that’s already gone rancid, sticking it on your counter and coming back a week later hoping it got better. It gets worse inside and so the silence, eventually when we do speak it comes out as violence. That violence of course then gives us a warning that says, ” Oh don’t confront again because next time you confront there will be another battle.” It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But Kerry says effective confrontation doesn’t require a battle. And he’s researched and studied this whole subject of effective confrontation a lot.
In fact we’ve observed tens of thousands of people of which hundreds were very effective and never got into battle, they didn’t walk away, they didn’t sugar coat, they stepped up and said can we talk. Now that skill, that capacity to hold that confrontation makes all the difference.
It’s very empowering, says Kerry, to realize that you could confront just about anybody, with just about anything and not have it turn into a big fight. It’s all in how you do it.
More often than not when you describe it in a non-confrontive(sic) way the other individual comes around and the problem is solved in the first sentence or two. Most problems that we have come because we come in charged reloaded for bear, angry and attacking. The other person becomes defensive and it’s a downward spiral from that point on.
Regarding confrontation, Eddie, most of us hold it inside because there are SO many people that are rude and desensitized to the world around them, that confronting each individual person would be impossible, if not counterproductive. There’s no point in trying, because if I talk to 50 people today in my office, there will just be another 50 people tomorrow in the shopping mall, and another 50 people two days from now in the train station. If they’re all so air-headed and nobody seems to care but me, maybe it IS me…
I also have problems with all mouth sounds and all sounds associated with food, like spoons, knocking up against cups/bowls when people are stirring or eating, forks hitting against plates when people are eating. Even the sound of eating utensils hitting against teeth while people are eating make me wince in pain. However, gum and food smacking, the sound of people talking with their mouth full, crunching and slurping, sipping etc. are by far the most irritating. Since I lack a better word, all these sounds are painful to me. I can feel my entire body tense up every time I hear one of these sounds! Sometimes I even visibly shake and twitch because the sounds just drive me crazy. If I am not at my desk and/or unable to use headphones, I even go as far as covering up my ears with my fingers. My last job, I really didn’t like my boss and he didn’t like me either, so you can imagine the effect of his smacking and slurping on me was multiplied 10-fold. My work area was right next to his, and our work areas were not completely separated, so I heard EVERYTHING he did.
It started with just him seeming to eat ALL the time, whether it is chips from the vending machine, or slurping/sipping on coffee or even soda, there were “mouth” sounds always coming from him. I can kind of understand why people slurp or sip coffee, even though I think if they waited until the coffee was cool enough to drink so they wouldn’t have to slurp. But sipping a cold soda?!!! I never got that and that makes it sound even worse to me. I hate when people get a can of soda and just half way open it and suck the soda out!
Back to my boss, every 30 minutes he would get some chips out the vending machine, and he would chew with his mouth wide open, smacking as loudly as he possibly can. When he wasn’t stuffing his face with chips, he would eat pistachios or candy and suck on them with his mouth wide open and then crunch on them deliberately and obnoxiously. After my 2nd day of putting up with this, I brought in my headphones, and blasted classical music in my ear so I could get some work done in peace. It seemed my boss noticed that I was aggravated by the sounds, so instead of trying to be courteous and try to cut back, he seemed to even do it louder! No problem, I just blasted the music even louder and always played “louder” type songs. He then took it a step further, he started bringing whole economy sized boxes of cereal (Raisin Brand) to work, and would proceed to eat a bowl of cereal at his desk milk and all with dishes he brought from home. From the sound of him pouring the cereal into the bowl to the sound of him slurping the milk through his mouth along with the mouth open chewing and smacking was blood curdling. He seemed to enjoy trying to aggravate me; all he proceeding in doing is making me hate him even more. I always made sure I had my CD’s and headphones, one day I forgot my CD’s and I was about to go to a store to buy ANYTHING, then on my way to my car, I found a demo CD on the ground in the parking garage. I played that CD all day even though it only had 3 versions of the same song on it. On more than one occasion, I wanted to just pick up that bowl of cereal and throw it in his face and tell him to eat like an adult and not a #$!@ 2-year old. We got laid off after I had only been there 2 months, and honestly I couldn’t be happier. No more of my boss and more importantly no more of his disgusting sounds.
Now at my new job, there is this lady who sits in the cube next to me who has gum in her mouth ALL DAY EVERY DAY. She chews it loudly with her mouth open, and every time I hear the gum “pop”. I shake, cringe and tense up almost to the point of tears. Thankfully I got my trusty headphones and CD’s, so I can drown out most of the sounds and get work done. Even with the head phones, I still can occasionally here a “pop” here and there. Another thing I do to minimize the time I have to deal with the gum sound, is the same I did with my last boss, I always go to lunch after she comes back from hers. That’s at least 2 hours I don’t have to deal with those irritating sounds!
Another mouth sound I’ve had to deal with at work is people crunching ice. URGHHHHH!!! Thankfully no one does this here…..yet!! There definitely needs to be etiquette when it comes to chewing gum and just eating at your desk in general. I know I personally can’t get any work done if I am always cringing and shaking trying to cope with irritating sounds.
A few other “non-food” sounds I hate are people clipping their nails, constant sniffing or coughing, the sound of keyboards and clicking mice get to me, if the room is otherwise quiet. The sound of people breathing, even if it’s not really “snoring” keeps me up all night. Hearing someone say the same word repeatedly in the EXACT same tone in a conversation irks me. Buzzing sounds from bugs also has an effect on me. Every time I hear a buzzing sound in real life, or even on TV or the radio, I MUST rub my nose, even though I don’t think it really itches.
Gumguru, I am interested in taking a look at your book too! Please send me an email WdnUlik2no@hotmail.com with more info. Thanks!
I haven’t visited in a while… and wow, there’s a lot of new posts. I just have to say, I’m envious of the professor who can tell students to lose the gum. I was shopping last weekend and every corner I turned there was some cow chomping away and of course, I would keep running into the same people – and they seem to be personal space invaders too. If I want to look at something and someone else is looking at it, I’ll wait – these people push their way right in – totally invading my space. I really think confrontation is useless, as we’re the “crazy ones” and there’s no way we could confront everyone who was an offender – I would have spent the whole day telling people that their habit is bothersome to some people and probably arguing with them about who’s problem this really is. Interesting theory on the gum chompers needing attention. The woman I work with becomes upset if left out of a project or meeting, even though it’s not really efficient or logical to have two people working on the same thing or sitting through the same meeting most times. She definitely takes these decisions personally and becomes upset. She had dental issues and stopped with the gum for a while, during that time I dropped hints like mad about not going to the movies because of gum chewers, etc and she never did pick the habit up again, after years of 8 hour continual chomping I am most grateful. I too would wait for her to return from lunch before I would go as to have a break. Not sure if my hints did it or if the dental problem never allowed her to pick it up again. I would imagine the latter, I have to believe she didn’t realize how torturous the chomping was. I still harbor negative feelings toward her, and she seems to click her mouse button constantly at lightening speed (I have no idea what she could possibly be doing that would warrant so many clicks at a time) and she’s a loud fast typer. So, I am still a prisoner of the headphones, but when I have to work with her I am glad there’s no little minty blob of goo floating around in her mouth. I wish companies would put an office etiquette section in their handbooks. I do notice that she always has a tick-tac or altoid in her mouth now. And it’s really noticeable and she talks I can see it, whereas I think most people could have something and it would not necessarily be noticeable. It gives her a lisp. Perhaps “their” issue is an oral fixation. I would think they’d have long term issues with their jaw (but my offender is in her 50s and proudly would say “I’ve chewed gum since I was a teenager”), like someone else said – I don’t think the human jaw was meant to chomp all day long. Other noises get me too, that’s why I’m hesitant to think it’s a childhood trauma thing.
I’m glad we’ve all found this page!
I am so glad I came accross this thread. I just did a search on gum chewing etiquette, and this came up. I’m in the same position myself. My cube neighbor has a horrible habit of this nonsense. I just want to smack her! I’ll have to survive through my headphones in the mean time.
What’s Crackin! – Just need to go Play Bingo – for my Online Bingo Habit! But I cannot Find a Good Bingo Online website to cover my bingo addiction!
What’s Crackin! – Just need to go Play Bingo – for my Online Bingo Habit! But I cannot Find a Good Bingo Online website to cover my bingo addiction!
I can definately relate to all of your stories! I can “feel” the noise too and no matter what, an overpowering rage comes over me and I don’t know what to do. I find myself waiting to hear the next intrusion of noise and that makes me even angrier. I can’t control my feeling of rage when I hear some cow chewing gum or some stuffed up person breathe loud or keep sniffling, loud music, mouse clickers, clocks ticking, and it’s getting worse as I get older. I thought it was bad when I was younger but it seems to be getting worse every day. I can barely tolerate any noise and I seem to become an even bigger b—h than I used to be about it. I don’t care any longer who I confront because it is them who are the rude ones! I recently went to a therapist about this problem and she gave me a test on stimulus barrier and it said that I am borderline psychotic when it comes to the noises. Can you believe this? If I couldn’t control my reactions I’d have probably murdalized someone by now! LOL
The therapist mentioned some medication and I haven’t had time to do any research on them yet but when I do I will let all of you know. In the meantime, all of you have a nice quiet night! Has anyone ever decided to ban together in this crusade and talk about it publicly instead of just on a website? I think we ought to bring it in the open where everyone can see how rude and disgusting they are!!!!
She is at it again. Smacking gum as loudly as she can. I can hear her over my headphones and the sound makes my stomach burn everytime I hear it. I HATE it! Sometimes I think people who chew gum like this with all the smacking, popping and open mouth chewing think they are “cool” and so much better and above every one else. I am about to send a complaint to HR because I can’t take this any longer. I can’t work at all. Only problem is that I am new here and don’t know who HR is and don’t want to be a trouble maker, so I will remain anonymous. But everyone will know its me that complained. Others here have complained about annoying sounds on the company “Community” board, but you know no one ever pays attention to that, I doubt that people even read them at all!
Chris,
It’s been my experience that complaining to my managers was ineffective and asking co-workers if they could stop was counterproductive. (And I did ask nicely.) The problem is most people don’t understand it. It is not within their realm of experience.
I have found that listening to music still allows some of the offending sounds to leak in during the quieter passages. I would recommend listening to a broad spectrum sound like white noise. I use pink noise from a CD that I got from the Oregon Hearing Research Center — Hyperacusis.net sells them as well. I’ve also seen sites where you can download one in MP3 format for about $5 but I haven’t tried them.
Have you ever listened to someone with with 4 teeth in his mouth eat 2 packages of Skittles? That’s the guy who shares my cube. When I listen to my pink noise I don’t hear it AT ALL.
Good luck.
My mom and I have had the same problems all of our lives. Her since she was about 11 or 12 and I developed the problem when I was about 8. I was wondering if it could be genetic! Family members are aware of our “issue” but since they don’t have it, they aren’t sensitive to the problem and go as far enough as to chew in our faces grotestquly and loudly as a joke. HA HA. Not funny. I am 17 years old and am in a Highschool/College program at College of San Mateo called Middle College. This program is getting highschool credits for graduation via college classes. Right now we are workikng on a Controversial Issue Essay. My topic? GUM CHEWING AND CONSUMTION OF FOOD IN OFFICE AND EDUCATIONAL SETTINGS. It is almost impossible to work in any of my classrooms when 1/3 or even 2/3 of the class are smacking gum loudly and openly. If a dirty look is given their way because of their discusting habit, they are confused as to why. I want to scream ” Didn’t your mother ever teach you to chew with your mouth closed? ” Apparently, etiquette and general common sense has been lost over the years. I have to ride the bus to head up to CSM and while doing so I am bombarded with SOUNDS. Why should I have to deafen myself with headphones or wear painful earplugs every day ( that do work, but also don’t let me lsiten to the teacher’s lectures ) when there’s an easier solution. Don’t chew gum rudely. Is that asking too much? It seemingly is. If people knew how much pain a lot of us go through every day I am sure they would sympathize. It seems that no one does though. I have been too shy to say anything over the years to friends or family because I always get the same response “that is your problem, not mine” How insensitive!! Many people just take me for crazy or rude if I say anything. If we can come together to form a larger voice than a larger percentage of the population will hear us. People may start to be able to see things from our point of veiw and realize that they look like fools chewing obnoxiously while off in a glazed over daze. We need to speak up! If anyone is interested in telling me stories as so I can support my essay with anecdotes of your experiences PLEASE e-mail them to me at Knotverynice@aol.com
It’s good to know my mom and I aren’t the only ones!!
gumguru I am VERY interested in your book. I have tried to calm my nerves and look past the sound before but it only works until i start thinking about it again.
Please send information on your book ( where i can purchase it ) to knotverynice@aol.com
thank you so much!!
Hi Carissa:
You can get my book in any bookstore or through my website: TriggerPointBook.com
But I’m happy enough to send you the chapter as an attachment to email if you’d like. Believe me, I feel for you.
Clair Davies (gumguru)
That’s ok, I thought I had the same problem, but when my mum gave me some advice I realized that it shouldn’t annoy me if there is something more interested you are in. If you really like your job, you could stop thinking about your ‘problem’ and focus on what you really want to do in life. I hope this helps you, and I thank u for making me not feel I am alone.
Right On Carissa!! It would great if more of us could find the courage to speak up and make ourselves heard. I have thought about writing to Dr. Phil about it. I know it’s easier said than done, but it is so wonderful when you find people who are understanding and “get” how serious a problem this is for all of us. I wish you all a peaceful & gum free day!!
Wow indeed! I also thought I was the only creature in the world with this affliction.
Gum popping in others leads to vein-popping in me! I wish it were only gum-popping. I can’t stand ice crunching or really, any eating noises. Snoring – even heavy breathing, drives me crazy. Computer keyboards clicking next to me will drive me nuts. I once sat next to a gal who did ‘Instant Messaging’ ALL DAY!! I stuck silicon earplugs in my ear and then covered them with headphones with the volume turned up on STATIC just to escape. Our company had a downsizing and I WAS ACTUALLY RELEIVED TO BE LAID OFF!! That’s how bad it can be for me.
I have on many occasions approached people and asked them if they could please stop popping their gum. I usually approach them in a very low key way and promise them that my sensitivity is actually my problem and not theirs and they usually comply, even though some look at me like I’m from Mars. I think most gum-poppers don’t even realize what they are doing, but even if they do, they think it is just part of chewing gum and not abnormal at all.
But how do you approach someone in a Mexican restaurant and ask them not to crunch their tortilla chips?? The answer is you don’t without looking like some kind of freak. So I literally wear silicone earplugs to the restaurant. It is odd, but that is where I am. I wish to God I wasn’t bothered by noises such as these, but this aversion to noise has been with me since I can remember.
I am generally against hypnosis, but I would be willing to try nearly anything to be rid of this affliction.
What to do?
Emergency Payday Loans – Payday Advance
My name is Clair Davies. I’m a recovering noise neurotic. I used to be a real “noise nut,” as bad as any who have posted here. I have a deep understanding of the misery and desperation of this affliction. But I don’t have the problem anymore. I’ve written about my solution for noise neurosis in Chapter 12 of my book, The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook; Your Self-Treatment Guide for Pain Relief. (The connection is that muscle tension makes trigger points worse,)
The central idea in my solution for noise hypersensitivity is that nervous tension and muscle tension are intimately linked. If you can decrease your muscle tension, a decrease in nervous tension will occur at virtually the same time. This is something psychologists have known for a hundred years or more. Notice how tense your body gets when noise is bothering you. My solution is a method of systematic relaxation of the muscles. When you get really good at it, you can defuse your anxiety regarding noise in twenty seconds or less. I’ve been doing it with increasing success for thirty-five years.
You can get the book if you like (that would be a very nice thing to do). But I’m willing to send you Chapter 12 for free as an attachment to email. All you have to do is ask (clairdavies@aol.com). This is a Pro Bono thing with me in memory of my mother and my former self, whose lives were made absolutely wretched by this ridiculous condition.
There’s more about my solution to noise hypersensitivity in my posting dated October 7, 2004.
Hello Everyone,
The site is complete all it needs is a domain name. If someone could please pick a name for the site I will have it up in 5 days. Sorry I have not been here in a while but I have been very busy. So everyone please post ideas the sooner we pick something the sooner its up. Thanks for the help and your site will be up soon.
Rob,
As per my post of Oct 7, 2004 I recommend SoftSoundSensitivity.org.
But whatever you pick thanks again for doing this!
Mark
She’s gone!!!
Finally the lady who sat next to my cube who would chew and smack gum loudly with her mouth open is finally gone!! I think she moved to another cube on a different floor, but I don’t care where she is now, just as long as she is not near me. I can work in peace now, and I don’t have to blast my headphones anymore! I was counting down the day that she would finally move to her new cube and it finally came. I feel sorry for her new coworkers now.
Rob:
I have some serious and some not so serious names for you. Of course you HAVE to have meta-tags in place for folks who are just Googling madly for some common sufferers and solutions. I am sure you knew that already.
noisesmakemenuts
noisesmakemecrazy
noisesdrivemecrazy
relieffromnoise(s)
noisesensitive
noiseknowledge
noisesensitivity
noiserelief
soundsensitive
hypersoundsensitivity
noiseneurosis
extremesoundsensitivity
noisesufferers
noisesufferersanonymous
Hope these help a bit.
Hi Rob:
Great input from Jack! I have something to offer regarding meta tags. It’s the description meta tag that draws the traffic. The keywords belong in that statement, which should be no longer than 25 words. The keywords meta tag has been so abused that the search engines now pretty much ignore it. I’ve more than tripled the traffic to my website in the last year by tuning up my description meta tags. Check the code on any of my pages to see what I’ve done. I’ve had over 400,000 visitors this year to Triggerpointbook.com
Hello all,
Thanks for all the great advice. I am thinking http://www.hypersensativesounds.org. Do you all like that? As it seems to be a mix of everyone’s great ideas. Also and most importantly I need to finish the topics in the forums. There’s going to be phpBB forums and I just need topics at this point to finish. For example Welcome, General, Rant Anti-Gum lol those are all just examples but you know what im talking about. It’s not going to be a massive extensive site on opening day but it will be out there. It will grow as I get time to finish it up. As always feel free to help out anyone want to moderate and design lol. Please email me your suggestions and ideas at HaXHaX1424@hotmail.com. Thanks everyone
Opening day is 7 days away !
Wow Jack, when I read your post, I had to comment because you sound almost just like me. I hate all those sounds too, crunching ice, food and gum smacking and fingernail clipping (in no particular order) has to be ther worse for me. Buzzing sounds also get to me, whenever I see that trident commercial on TV, I have to either cover my ears or leave the room.
When I got laid off from my last job I was relieved too. My boss would stuff his face with cereal, chips, candy every hour, and he would chew like a 2 year old, mouth wide open, smacking and what not, drove me crazy. I’m glad I was only there for 2 months, because it couldn’t take it much longer. Not to mention that my boss was a complete A-hole!! The headphones with music really helped though. At my new job, this lady who used to sit next to me would chew her gum with her mouth wide open and pop it every 2 – 5 seconds, it drove me crazy. On top of that the guy across from me would bang on his keyboard non-stop, that constant sound of loud fast keyboard clicking first thing in the morning drove me crazy too. Thankfully they both moved so I can work in peace now. I wonder if that explains why my constant headaches are starting to go away.
While I was dealing with the sounds, I found that stuffing a piece of rolled up napkin in my ear and then playing music in headphones did a fairly good job in filtering out the gum popping.
I don’t know I guess grown people must just think its “cool” or “cute” to chew with their mouths open and slurp and smack all the time.
Rob:
The only problem I see with your name is that hypersensativesounds sounds a bit like you are offering soothing sounds or music. One thing is for sure, none of us find solace in the sounds we are all talking about.
Hypersoundsensative might be a better way to order those 3 words.
Just a suggestion.
Incidentally Chris J., fingernail clipping is on my list of sounds to banish as well. Drives me nuts. Not to mention the fact that 90% of people who do it don’t even bother to have a trash can under where their clippings fall. That’s doubly offensive.
Rob, the site’s going to be the ultimate holiday gift for all of us. Thanks!!
Hello Everyone,
I purchased the domain name SoftSoundSensitivity.org. Thanks for the great idea Mark. The site will be opening hopefully in 2 days as of this point. What topics would you all like to discuss. Thanks for all the great feedback guys.
Hello Everyone,
GREAT NEWS!!!
I just officially launched the site for everyone. Please come and join us make sure to register it’s free. I look forward to seeing everyone joining our new community. Spread the word and see you all soon.
VISIT HERE
softsoundsensitivity.org
Sincerely,
Rob
Rob, it looks like the live chat on softsoundsensitivity.org is already working! I went in and started a chat room, no problem. Actually, there was one problem…nobody there yet to chat with!
Looking forward to seeing more of you there!
COME JOIN EVERYONE!!!
Our new suppot site is up visit it here and join the forums it’s free. The Live chat has passed testing also and is working great.
http://www.softsoundsensitivity.org
We look forward to seeing you all there.
Sincerely,
Rob
question:::
gum chewing and popping drives me insane; to the point where i cry. i was just wondering, if you were to pop or chew gum would it bother you? cuz i could chew and pop gum for days and it would never bother me, but if someone else pops it just once, i tear up…
That’s true, huh? The sound of chewing gum myself doesn’t bother me; it’s only when someone else is doing it.
I can’t chew gum for more than a couple minutes, though, because it makes me feel sick and makes my teeth and jaws hurt. I just don’t think it is natural to chew and chew on something that you are not eating. That might be one thing that bothers me about gum chewing.
Here’s one for you: do people seem to act a little bit obnoxious while they are chewing gum, or is it just my imagination?
I Love gum….sorry guys, but thats the hard truth…i am not, fortunately rude but i still like gum….
if the person is rude…talk to them b/c sitting here and complaining about it is of no use to anyone….expecially to your friend that chews gum…she/he are still being criticised for their chewing habits, so just talk to them.
*they may think you are being unreasonable, but beleive me they will become more consciencious and you can help them to be more aware of what torture they are putting you through….I am personally a gum lover, but in being one I hope I have given you some food for thought….BEST OF LUCK!
I have been convinced, for years, that I am absolutely insane. I occaisonally miss important information from my teachers because I need earplugs to make it through the day without going crazy, and, even though they are fully aware of my problem and know that I was in therapy for it for about a year, my family does not bother to chew quietly, or at least warn me when they are about to put food in their mouths (which would be most appreciated). I have never understood how some people just don’t notice it, but I can hear it from distances away, though at my high school you do not have to go very far at all to find another person just smacking away… Today was the first day of the second semester. I woke up in a wonderful mood. As soon as I get to school, I immediately turn sour but do not express my feelings to anyone. First period, Latin. People chewing all around me. I love that class, but I can’t stand the people who just took it because they thought it would be easy, the ones who fly through the day smacking and popping on huge wads of gum, oblivious to anything around them. I really start to get ticked off, especially because I had no earplugs with me, and there were no tissues in the room to take the place of earplugs. I cover my ears and study.
Second period, I figure, will be better. But as the classroom quieted for the history lesson, I noticed one girl sitting near me who, as I recalled from last semester, chews gum all the freakin’ time. And then my teacher, as she occaisonally does, pops a mint in her mouth and teaches while sucking on it, which annoys me greatly because I really, really need to pay attention in her class. Third period establishes a pattern…let’s name it Carol’s Law: “In every public location aside from nearby family members at home, a rude, loud, incessant gum-smacker will indefinitely sit directly next to he/she whom can tolerate it least.” Fourth period proves it once again. Thank God for band class, fifth period, where people cannot play with food in their mouths. Unfortunately, I am a percussionist, so drummers can sneak food into their mouths with great ease. Lunch rolls around, and I have decided to start eating in a band practice room to avoid having to view the salivatory digestion process that never fails to be demonstrated when I am trying to eat and ignore it. Sixth period, people all around me are chewing gum. Seventh, same story. I have friends who claim that they can’t stand the sounds, but they do it constantly themselves; whereas I am constantly aware of my own chewing, making sure my lips are always closed and the food is located where it cannot make noises that are audible from the outside with even a shut mouth.
This is what my days are like, and it is the most amazing feeling to know that there are other people who understand exactly what I am going through. The relief of this realization moved me to tears, and I want to thank all of you for voicing your opinions. Not even counseling helped; My psychiatrist had never heard of such a thing and just prescribed higher doses of various medications until I was mildly addicted to Effexor. It took a while to get off of it, which was hell, but I found a new doctor who, unlike the other one, did not prescribe me antipsychotics to take as “chill pills” whenever I felt agitated. Though I am still fighting the problem, it helps to know that someone takes me seriously, even if it is someone I have talked to only a few times.
I would once again like to thank all of you with a similar aversion to the ever-irritating noises people continuously make with their mouths all day. Knowing I am not alone is wonderful feeling, and, please, let me know if you have found a way to deal with it that is more effective than “Just ignore it” or “Deal with it”.
I am glad I am not the only bothered by the gum smacking. I am hearing it write now. I finally a while ago said something but now it has began again. When she figured out she was doing she would turn around all smart butty and say oh sorry, like she really means it. Now she wears her headphones and must realize she is doing it. It is the worst sound ever.
I feel so happy to know there are so many of us. Perhaps we could band together and try to educate the public about how much it affects us — and perhaps people would try and learn how to chew with their mouths closed — and perhaps I’ll make a billion dollars this next year… haha.
I have found for myself that if I’m in a bad mood already, it makes it even more unbearable when I hear someone chomping. I believe it has something to do with the amount of tension in my system already — if my level of stress is high, I’m more likely to react more to the sounds. Because at times when I’m really relaxed, it bothers me but not quite as much. I was at the theater last night and not only was someone chomping, but they were also slurping something through their teeth and smacking, plus, opening loud wrappers through the WHOLE FREAKING MOVIE!!!!!
I had to put my fingers in my ears to even continue sitting there. But of course, I’m feeling grouchy, agressive and violent by the time we leave and then it’s miserable to be around me. It just doesn’t seem fair that I can’t enjoy a film because of someone else’s eating habits.
My sister has it worse than I do. So, at least if we’re in a theater together and hear someone chomping, we can look at each other and we both know what the other is thinking — of course, they are murderous thoughts — amazing we all seem to have a similar violent reaction.
I’ve tried explaining it to my friends this way — which seems to work fairly well — It’s as if I hear the sound (clicking fingernails, chomping gum, popping gum bubbles, etc.) and my physical body instantly goes into reaction — like a cat hissing and hair all standing on end — it literally is a physical and chemical reaction. Some friends try to do better, one friend even quit chewing gum (that is a TRUE friend), but others laugh and think it’s funny — some even try chomp just to bug me — what they don’t realize is that I truly hate them while they are chomping and it damages our relationships — it’s like someone who has an allergic reaction to peanuts and their friend gives them a snickers bar just for fun. ha ha very funny.
Anyway, I’ve been doing some research and it seems that these sounds are an allergic reaction of a sort — just like smelling some perfumes can give me a headache, it’s a similar thing. I’ve been doing some treatment called NAET — it is an acupressure/chiropractic treatment which helps “clear” allergies. It has worked with most of my food and scent allergies and now I’m going to try the sounds. It’s an amazing technology — they have a website called NAET.com. It might help. I’ve been told my my chiropractor (who also does NAET) that he has had others with similar problems and they’ve been able to get rid of the sensitivity. I hope it will work for me too! (fingers crossed)
To RoMay:
I got your email asking for my chapter about noise sensitivity but my email back to you at comcast dot net doesn’t go through. I tried writing to you with the chapter attached and without it attached and everything bounces back.
What a wonderful blessing this board has been. I also have an office neighbor who is a constant gum-cracker. I have asked her (very nicely) twice, and she gave me rude looks each time and continued along snapping her gum just as she alwasy has. I then went to my supervisor, and offered to move cubicles even, butI was told to wear headphones. I like my music at work and it helps a lot, but I can’t wear then every second of the day so it doesn’t solve the problem (in my eyes.)
Of course, it only infuriates me more now, because she was so rude when I asked her to stop. I know my productivity suffers, and I also know that my general mood at work is affected. I am in therapy to help reduce my anxiety levels. And all because one person can’t keep from chewing gum at work!
It seem so unfair to me. Some days I want to just cry, honestly. I love my job. But I cant take it much longer. I look forward to checking out the new website.
And for other’s reference, the following other noises trigger my extreme irritation as well: slurping of any kind, but especially hot coffee, soup, or the end of a drink when there isn’t enough liquid to go up the straw; people with stuffy/runny noses who sniff constantly; loud/mouth breathers, constant throat-clearing; open mouth chewing of food; and probably a million other things I can’t think of just now.
Thanks and I look forward to talking with you all soon!
Shannon
COME JOIN EVERYONE!!!
Our new suppot site is up visit it here at http://www.softsoundsensitivity.org
and join the forums it’s free. The Live chat is up and working great. See you all there
http://www.softsoundsensitivity.org
We look forward to seeing you all there.
Is it just me, or…when people are clearing their throats, should they not make some sort of effort to do it quietly? I work near two people who seem to try to do it as loudly as they possibly can, and they do it every few seconds. I know it’s because of allergies or something, and that they need to do it, but I think they should make at least a minimal effort to muffle the sound. I feel like I’m in a pen full of swine. Any thoughts?
I found this site the same way many others found it (I was searching on office eitiquette and gum-chewing). Boy, do I have the same exact problem!
I was thinking that a nice, subtle approach and possible solution might be this:
Find an article on Office Etiquette that includes a lot of general stuff that everyone can agree on. Stuff that we all complain and joke about all the time. Included in this list will be an item on gum chewing (if it’s not there, then ADD IT). Then, forward it on to the offending person, with comments such as these: “I found this article very interesting. I wish everyone in our office would follow these guidelines.” Then, point out some of the flagrant ones that are violated by certain people in your building. This should let her know that this is the reason you shared the article — not that you’re trying to point out the gum-chewing.
Subtle? Think it will work?
So, I too have the problem of getting HIGHLY irritated at the sound of gum snapping/popping. It took about a year in my old department at work to become friendly enough with the fellow staff to bark at them in a light-hearted way about snapping and popping their gum. My new department, however, is full of people twice my age and I find it very intimidating to be the new girl complaining about gum noise.
I have, by the way, come VERY close to quitting a job over this several years back. It got to the point to where every time the gum popped, I slammed my fist down on my desk. I am a VERY laid back person and nothing ever bothers me except for mouth noises (and the fingernail clipping – WHO DOES THAT AT WORK?!?!?!?!)
Anyway, my heart starts racing, I get very hot and find myself going to the restroom just to escape it like 20 times a day. These people probably think I’m a freak already so I don’t see that headphones are an option as yet. I definitely don’t feel comfortable enough to approach her. I even schedule my lunches an hour prior to when I know she leaves so that I know when I get back I can have an hour of silence. I assumed this issue goes back to my mother, because she was a gum snapper and it always drove me crazy.
It is nice to know other people feel the same way, I was beginning to think I was losing it. Then again, I probably WILL lose it if this doesn’t stop. I need to get a job where I work from home, that’s the bottom line. GUM SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!
I understand that it’s illegal to buy and sell chewing gum in the country of Singapore, the reason being that it leaves a mess when left on sidewalks, etc.
We should all move to Singapore.
To whomever started this conversation and this site–Thank You!! You have done a great service for many people. And I am one of them! All this time I’ve been thinking I was crazy but now I know there are others out there who are bothered by some of the same things I am.
I have to wonder, though, if it’s a real ‘condition’ (soft sound sensitivity) or if people are just INCONSIDERATE as all H***!! I have a problem believeing this feeling of rage I get is because of a breakdown in my ear’s ability to properly filter certain sounds. I’m not saying that hyperaucusis isn’t real, but I’m just not sure I really have it.
My story begins with a father who eats like a cow and has no idea how awful he looks and sounds while he is eating. I have been aware of eating noises since I was a kid and seem to be more aware of them now as an adult. I am annoyed that people just don’t care to control their noise level. It’s as though they don’t even hear it.
Anyway, what gets me most is gum chewing. Not just normal chewing, but popping and cracking. This infuriates me! Why do some people think it’s OK to make so much noise while chewing gum? I think it’s downright rude. I read somewhere that psycologically, these people crave attention. The ironic thing about it is that I am apparently being rude for asking them to stop. Why is it rude to tell others they are being rude?? I don’t understand, but it may be because we now live in an ‘I can do whatever I want’ society that forces others to be tolerant of everything everyone else does. And as a result, SOOOO many people LACK social graces!! Parents are not teaching their kids table manners, neighbors have no sense of consideration for others living closeby, and work environments are much more lax about just about everything.
Most of all, on a personal level, as I said, we are not to speak up for fear of offending someone about their behavior. Worst of all, I have already asked people to keep their gum quiet and discussed my condition with my husband and have recieved this ‘oh well, that’s YOUR problem’ attitude. It’s as though I’m the crazy one for thinking these things are rude. And now I live with my mother-in-law who cannot chew gum without constantly popping it, and I am driven out of my own living room when she gets the gum out. Is it fair that I have to live this way, without anyone caring about how much these things bother me? Or is it unfair of me to think these people have to change their behavior for me?
Lastly, has anyone else with mild symptoms like these considered therapy, either emotional or physical? I am considering doing something as I am getting tired of avioding people with gum in their mouths.
Singapore sounds like heaven.
I’m not the only one! Not by a long shot! I love it. Gum-cracking makes me so angry that my blood pressure SOARS. I think it’s equally as rude as passing gas or belching at work – I really do. I hate it, hate it, hate it. No one can appear intelligent while cracking gum. No one.
ARGGGGGGHHHH!
I do think that making noise in any form is a way of getting attention. People who crack gum must be insecure or lack something major in their life to think that they can do it without it affecting anybody else. Or maybe that’s it–they WANT to affect everyone else! They must definately want to draw attention to themselves because of some deep-seeded psycological need.
But this thing about the reaction we all seem to get when we hear it–do WE have the problem? And is it a reaction to the actual noise, or is it to the inconsiderate nature of the noise?
Has anyone figured it out yet??
Phil, you are my SAVIOUR. I’m a sophomore in high school and…..GAAHHHHH!!!! That noise drives me INSANE!!! In all 4 of my 1.5 hour classes, filled with 22 ADD-prone teens each, the persistent sounds of rapid-fire gum popping echoes throughout the classroom and into my weary eardrum. And the worst part: NOBODY hears it but ME! Not even the teachers care! To top it all off, these 16-year-old kids (these are Honors classes) are yakking, yelling, screaming, about the most trivial subjects.
ex: “Is the plural of Trix Trixes?”
“I can’t work this cahl-kyoo-lah-door-uh.”
“Oh my god, last night I had the weirdest dream…”
“Baahh-baahh-baahh!!!” [loudly banging aluminum file cabinet] [loudly making slurping noises]
“[during Algebra II lectures]…..wait, what? What? Whoa! WHOA! Whoa-ho. Wh-Uhh-m…could you repeat everything you just said?”
I could go on…
But anyway, thank you all for letting me vent my shared anti-gum rage. I’m considering the option of kneeing the next person who pops gum within my earshot. Also, the option of talking to my teachers about. I prefer the former.
The one place in the world that I haven’t heard any gum-popping is the most beautiful and serene place in the world:
Mexico.
That’s right, Playa del Carmen. The unspoiled beaches, the friendly people, the loose laws, one of the few unAmericanized beach cities in Mexico. It’s located a few miles south of Cancun; it’s paradise as we know it. My suggestion to all us misophonics: move out of the country!!
i found this interesting and amusing about oprah’s gum phobia. i had heard she hates gum like most of us do:
http://www.oprahhatesgum.com/index2.html
Ok, so what’s the deal? you ask. I was trying to go to sleep while watching Oprah a while
ago. In Chicago it plays again late at night. She had on these two snobby etiquette experts
who were promoting their book. Oprah asks them about chewing gum and they all agree that
chewing gum at any time is crass. Oprah then tells a story about a woman that came to her
house for dinner and chewed gum at the table and they all made faces. When the food
arrived, the woman took out her gum and STUCK IT ON HER PLATE while they ate.
Oprah was so grossed out that she threw the plate in the trash in order that she wouldn’t have
to eat from it ever.
Oprah had a Grandmother that saved her gum on a shelf in a kitchen cabinet and she
developed a “gum-phobia”. She does not allow anyone to chew gum at the show studios.
It’s all true, I saw it on the tv.
What does it have to do with me? I was trying to revive my old website I had with Yahoo
and I couldn’t activate it. Turns out they have it reserved for me in their name. I couldn’t get
a hold of it and didn’t feel like calling the toll-free number. I had just seen Oprah the night
before and I was trying to think of new name for my website…………….. Oprah hates gum
…………………hmmmmmmmmm
Welcome…………………..click around……send me your thoughts if you have any…
I sit in an office with a girl who smacks and pops her gum all day . With each chew she seems to have the ability to slop, pop, slobber, and chew.
I have asked her to stop THREE times but she just keeps on chewing. I even posted a NO GUM sign on my bulletin board.
I have been through two radios, two sets of headphones and nothing will drown out her chewing gum. One day I told her that I could not turn my music up any louder or I would be out of my chair.
I have even tried to pop along with her but she doesn’t seem to get the hint.
UNBELIEVABLE.
Here’s the deal: chewing gum in the workplace is unprofessional and no one looks good doing it. Tell her how much it bothers you and how much you would appreciate if she doesn’t do it around you.
I’ve just had a better idea …
You could also say something like, “You know, Zelda, you are have such a pretty face and a wonderful smile … and when you chew your gum all people see is your mouth moving and they miss how really nice looking you are. It’s a shame to lose all that to a wad of gum.”
And of course, you would smile apologetically while you are saying this.
The guy next to me slurps his coffee every morning, and soup… I can barely believe he’s not joking he slurps it so loudly. Also, he eats thorughout the day and around 2pm every day slowly snaps (open mouthed of course) his way through a bag of baby carrots, slowly… I can barely focus until he finishes, even with my headphones cranked.The thing is he’s a nice guy and he’s actually quite sensitive to peoples feelings. He just has no idea about the eating noises and of course I can never say anything to him. In college I used to hide in the back of a library away from ALL noises in order to focus but at my office I don’t have the option of moving to a different seat.
Another thing I can’t STAND are radio ads which contain the sounds of drinks being poured and/or slurped. You know, those beer ads which are supposed to make you want a beer because you are listening to some guy glug it down, they make me want to scream. When I hear even the first word of any of these ads I immediately turn the volume off until I know the ad is safely over.
I am glad to hear there are more and more of you out there. I posted one in January and now I have to add more. I now have 2 people popping gum behind me. The 2nd one does it like rapid fire and she knows she does it and that it is annoying and still does it.
Why don’t people have concerns about others what the heck.
My office mate goes out of town next week and will be gone for a week and a half. I cannot wait. No gum for 10 days!
I think she does it to be annoying since I have said something to her three times. I asked her so nicely but she just keeps chewing like a COW!
Thanks for all the tips and please, keep them coming. I am going out of my mind.
I thought I was the only one who couldn’t stand the sound of pouring drinks on TV or radio. Unfortunately that’s not the only think that drives me mad. Any kind of chewing and most mouth noises, women clicking their nails, pen clicking, the list goes on. Some movements bug me too, such as my sister and her incessant foot twirling; seriously, it’s non-stop and has a freaking pattern (OCD????). Can’t stand thumb twidling either. I guess anything that’s totally unnecessary really bothers me. And the worst my mood, the more it affects me. I can’t figure out why, though, how come certain people bother me more than others. Anybody else experience this?
I thought I was the only one who couldn’t stand the sound of pouring drinks on TV or radio. Unfortunately that’s not the only thing that drives me mad. Any kind of chewing and most mouth noises, women clicking their nails, pen clicking, the list goes on. Some movements bug me too, such as my sister and her incessant foot twirling; seriously, it’s non-stop and has a freaking pattern (OCD?). Can’t stand thumb twidling either. I guess noises and repetitive movements that are totally unnecessary really bother me. And the worse my mood, the more it affects me. And I can’t figure out why certain people bother me more than others, because it’s not necessarily people I don’t like. Anybody else experience this?
oops, sorry! Thought I was reviewing but I posted (twice!).
Yeah Suz, there seems to be less people affected by different things, but I share your pain. Foot twirling, nail-clicking, people with flip-flops, even just breathing noises! I’ve just had my first hypnotherapy session last week, and the guy I had completely understood what I was getting at. Also my partner noticed a big difference for the first few days after. Hopefully given enough sessions this will give me enough relief to not be bothered by sounds (and some movements ie: jaw movements in particular). You name it, I can be annoyed by it. Pidgeon sounds are my latest, and I think it’s down to my last breakup. Moved to parent’s place for a while and every morning there was a pidgeon ‘purring’ outside my window. Now they irritate me sooo much I have even thrown rocks at them, problem is they’re everywhere! Another interesting note though is that sounds that annoy other ‘normal’ people ie: crows, traffic etc don’t bother me in the slightest. Weird. Weird also is how many of us are able to be completely analytical about our situation, while still being powerless to do anything about it. Hopefully the subconscious therapy will help. After all, it’s not something we consciously want to be impaired with is it? Maybe hynotherapy is the only way. If only it weren’t so expensive!
Good luck to you all
I can’t handle the sound of people eating at all and I especially hate the sounds of someone chewing gum. I walk away if I can but usually it’s someone I work with. I have my own office so that’s the only thing that keeps me sane. Before that I used my iPod all day long to drown out stuff like that.
I just started a message board to discuss this very thing. I hope I’m not breaking any rules telling everyone about it, it’s just for those of us who are very sensitive to eating sounds to discuss it. It’s here: http://www.ihatechewingsounds.com/bb
I do think it has something to do with getting attention. A ‘notice me’ complex. One woman I work with can’t possibly NOT make noise. If she doesn’t chomp and chew, she pounds the hell out of the keyboard. If away from the keyboard and no gum or food is present..she’ll tap her nails on something. Most often against her coffee cup, making a ‘tinging’ sound over and over. She also seeks recognition and if someone else is rewarded – she’s not gracious about it. I can hear another woman about 20 yards away cracking the crap out of her gum right now. Stop the madness!! Act like an adult and not an annoying teenager!
I am sure that some people do it for attention. My co-worker (cow-worker?) starts chewing and snapping when she’s in the mood for some attention, and at the same time she starts talking loudly and being generally…what’s the word…boisterous.
So, since I sit behind her and it’s often my attention she wants, I have started ignoring her every time she starts chewing. I’m trying to establish a connection somewhere in the back of her mind – every time she starts chomping, I suddenly become engrossed in my work, put in my earphones and ignore her. And guess what? She has started decreasing her chewing time and spitting the gum out sooner! I guess it’s kind of like training a puppy.
Meanwhile, there’s this other moron who clears his disgusting throat as loudly as he possibly can, and does it just about every single minute. It’s giving me a case of Turrret’s syndrome. When he does it, the word “idiot” or “ass” comes flying out of my mouth automatically, a little louder each time, and I can’t control it! What am I going to do??
I am sitting at my desk as my desk losing my mind as my co-worker is snapping away at her gum. I have asked and asked and asked and asked as nice as I can to stop snapping gum. I have a physical reaction to gum snapping. My fucking hair stands on end and I want to crawl the walls. I think it is very similar to someone scratching a chalk board. I have no idea what to do about this affliction. Thanks god I am not allone. Do you think that I could light up a smoke and tell he I will quit if she quits smakcing like a cow. Should I grab her by the lips and rib them off…. SNAP SNAP SNAP.. there she goes again…. I am fucking losing it! FUCK THIS PLACE I AM OUT OF HERE…. another day lost to the noise of a sloppy gum chewing idiot.
I think I am going to move to Singapore where the outlaw that crap!
FUCK GUM! BAN THE SHIT! Gum is bad bad bad… 1) People make awfull noise with it and bother others 2) they spit it out and people step in it or sit in it 3) it is nasty…….
ARGHHHH…. she wont stop snapping!
I think I am going to go shoot myself… later
I feel your pain, Joel. All you can do to get some relief (besides quitting your job) is go to Circuit City and invest in some good quality earphones. They can be expensive but you need good sound and they have to be comfortable because you’ll be wearing them all day (consider it an investment in your sanity). Plug them into your computer and turn on Internet radio (www.live365.com is good) or use a walkman or whatever.
If your boss complains about your listening to music while working, you gotta explain the situation and demand that they either make that cow stop chewing or let you listen to your music.
It’s sad that we have to deafen ourselves with earphones every day, but it’s better than going to prison for choking a co-worker to death with her own chewing gum!
Over a month ago, I posted an email on this site and asked some questions. Now, I know it is good to vent sometimes, but I was asking if anyone had any answers to this problem. I find myself planning my day around avioding people while they are eating or chewing gum, and I shouldn’t have to live this way.
Do I seek medical attention? Do I need a psychiatrist? Or do I have to start telling people off?? I cannot wear headphones as I am not in an office all day. I am forced to live with a gum smacker and a noisy eater and it’s enough to drive me to drink.
Help! I need real advice for what has worked for any of you…………
hey guys,
Thanks for all of your posts. The comfort this site has brought me is hard to put into words.
I’d like to preface by saying that I am a sophomore at the U. of Pittsburgh. I’ve had an extreme aversion to eating sounds as far back as I can remember….perhaps early elementary school. My problem is that I cannot deal with any sort of eating situations socially ever. This neurotic complex plagues me everyday….it never takes a vacation. To be near somebody chewing gum or sniffling….annoyance does not even begin to describe the panic and rage I am swept by. I can’t concentrate in my classes…I literally must search for quiet neighbors before I sit in every class. If there are gum popping or chewing sounds in my vacinity, I MUST see who it is….and I usually feel rediculous glancing angrily at the same kids 15+ times a lecture.
This is something that I have been battling inside myself for about 12 years to no avail. I am 20 right now. What I cannot understand is how I can hate so many people just because of the noise they make. While chewing, thats definitely what I feel towards them, HATE. I’ve come to hate my best friends and family(both whom I love very much), and countless total strangers, many times a day. I am scared at the shear magnitude of these intense emotions that I feel. In this delusional anxiety/anger ridden state in which I spend the majority of my day involving social interaticn, I am not happy. It has hindered my ability to make friends, work with people, and grow. I am depressed because I know for a fact that I cannot bear to be around people who are eating or chewing gum….it will never get better. It is like a sickness that knaws away at my sanity, as if to mock me and my weak mind. I am tired of being pissed off all the time. I feel so alone.
Perhaps the rest of you understand.
It’s so good to know I’m not the only one bothered by these things! What a releif! I wish I knew the cure tho! I’ve been told by various medical people to meditate daily to help with anxiety. It is good when I meditate, and helps me to feel more calm, but I still get annoyed by things like people chewing gum around me, or incecently clicking their pen! We all prob have great manners! We just wish everyone else did as well!
Will, I was touched by your story. You are too young to be so depressed. Try the website softsoundsensitivity.org. I found great info there and it made me feel better to know there is such a thing and I’m not crazy. Oh, I still have my issues about basic consideration, but unfortunately I can’t change people’s behavior. So I’m suffering through meals and facing obnoxious cashiers just like everybody else. But don’t doom yourself to a life of secusion–there might be something you can do about it. Don’t give up! And let me know how you are doing. (I check this message board often.)
a friend
This blog should be turned into a book or at least an entire epsiode of “The Office” . (I loved the original version, and yes the US version is just a shallow copy, but I need office humor on television like this).
So I have a gum chewing coworker. But check this, I also have a coworker who sits about 3 feet from me (no walls) and sniflles all day!
He has been working here for 2 months, and has sniffled like crazy every single day. Why oh why can’t he breathe through his mouth!?
I tried to post on this site months ago, but apparently comments were locked? Now it seems that people are posting again. I will also try the other URLS posted here.
My father and one of my sisters used to chew like cows, rolling it around on their tongues, cracking it, etc. My mother also hated gum chewing. When we used to go on road trips and sardined into the fucking car, my father would take out his packs of gum, and he and my sister would stuff their mouths with multiple pieces, then proceed to drive my mother and me crazy. I also hate the sound of sticks of gum being pulled out of the pack and unwrapped. I also hate the smell and look of gum chewing.
I have quit jobs before over this issue. I have worked doing commercial art, word processing, and now medical transcription for a long time now. Occasionally a doctor will chew something while dictating… fortunately, my boss will ask the client to ask the doctor not to do it, and in some cases it actually works. I have also left notes for the doctor to see, and it sometimes works.
I don’t know why people are so prone to pulling out the gum and chewing when they are crowded in together (as in classrooms, on airplanes, and in movie theaters), but they do, and many of them get rather pissy if you ask them to tone it down.
Anyway, I am glad to have found this site, and to know that I am NOT alone in my hatred of gum chewing.
I also dislike sloppy table manners in general, as well as tooth-sucking (as at the end of a meal, when stuff is stuck between one’s teeth).
We may be “hypersensitive,” but I also believe that a lot of people out there are just being rude pigs, so it’s definitely not just “all in our heads.”
Well said, Pam. I’m at the point where I think I might start letting people know how rude they are, especially people who I have to deal with in stores and other places of business. I aviod lines where the cashier is chewing gum. Maybe I should tell the manager and the cashier or waitress how unprofessional it is. They probably won’t care, but if lots of us “hypersensitive” types started doing it, maybe they would get the hint.
But why is it that it’s harder to ask close friends and family members to stop?? I live with a mother-in-law who cracks gum and smacks her food, and I run around to different rooms of the house every day to avoid it. Why should I live this way? Why should I have to endure it out in public?
Let’s start a movement to squash this behavior, even if we offend some of them. And why not, THEY offend US!!
I haven’t written in long time, but I have kept up with this blog almost daily. I have just not had anything much to add except AMEN and RIGHT ON! I HATE living like this. I have just sent a long email to the hyperacusis website asking for help. The place is in Oregon, which is across the USA from me, but maybe they can point me to someone here. I have an office manager who, for some reason, has started chewing gum all day. She is one of those slow,open mouth, squishy, soft cracking chewers. She cracks and smacks on the side of her mouth while she talks and when smiles. She called me on phone one day and I asked her to please stop chewing the gum while she talked me. When I was helping her with a computer program she leaned next to my ear cracking and sqishing, before I could stop myself I put my finger on her lips and told her to stop cracking that gum in my ear, she said to stop touching her lips, I said, I guess we’re even!! Why are people so unprofessional?? I was in an elevator one day with Barbie and Mother Barbie, both wide mouth chewing and cracking their gum. I had a piece of gum in my mouth for just such an occasion to conduct an experiment. So, I started smacking as loud as I could,open mouth and all. The two Barbies looked over at me with disgusted looks on their faces and I just smiled (ofcourse smacking at the same time). They probably never even thought they were being disgusting. One day I was at my dentist and the hygenist helping was cracking and smacking her gum. It was somewhat muffled by her mask, but I really wanted to say something. I just didn’t get the nerve. However, I noticed, with great irony, the sign on the wall that stated:”Out of consideration of our patients, please turn off your cell phones.” I wanted to say “Who cares about the freaking cell phones!! Stop cracking the damn gum!!!” I think I may write my dentist an anonyous letter asking him add chewing gum to that notice. Ok, I have three ideas. I can see many of you are heading in the same direction as I have been so.. 1. I want to come up with a business size card to hand out to offenders. It takes the pressure of being nice when I want to smack them in the face. The card would say something like: “Out of consideration of those around you, please refrain from smacking your gum” — how about some suggestions? 2nd idea. I also saw Oprah’s show where she talks about hating gum chewing. If I had a billion dollars I could control my space, too but since I don’t, What about we come up with a letter we can all send to her asking her to help us? Not money, but pointing out this problem and bringing it to the public notice? We could bombard her with similar letters and maybe those who read her letters would bring it to her attention. I wrote Dr. Phil and got no response. But I think Oprah could understand our problem. If you like these ideas email me persoanlly. I am personally at my wits end. My social life is almost nil and my personal life is taking a beating. I am tired of living like this. I am 57, by the way and have lived with this since I was 11. I think if we band together we may get help. OH my third idea!! How about planning a retreat for all of us? I know we live all over, but maybe those in the US could come together in a central location? How wonderful it would be to meet with people of like minds. I would love planning it, I am good at that. email me if you are interested. Bless all of you!!!
I am DEFINITELY going to have to put this on my favorites list. I thought I was being unreasonable in my distaste for listening to other people eat food and chew or smack gum and candy loudly. Fortunately, my fiance shares my dislike for obnoxious mouth sounds… and it is SO WONDERFUL to know that we’re not the only ones out there with these views! (Listening to obnoxious mouth sounds as I type and getting frustrated because I CAN’T GET MY COLLEGE ASSIGNMENT DONE BECAUSE OF IT!!!! WHERE did I put my earphones…)
Hope everyone is having a wonderful, mouth sound free day…
Kathryn
So… is the overwhelming desire to rip the head off of the offending smacking individual a common occurrence, lol??? Just wondering…
And… can anyone suggest an equally annoying habit in which to retaliate with?
Smile often…
Kathryn
Kathryn,
Your comments are so funny! But to answer your question, I think there are lots of things we can do to retaliate. If loud chewing or gum smacking people are trying to get attention (and we all know that’s the reason) then maybe we should give it to them! Turning around and staring at their mouths might make them wonder. Or how about talking to them about their all-important gum habit. Maybe say, “Boy, that gum must be good for you to be chewing so emphatically!” Stare and ask, “Just how DO you do that cracking noise? Yeah, that! That little tick… that’s it! Boy, you are talented! It just keeps happening, even when you are talking to me. Oh, there it is again…Amazing!” And keep going on and on until they either walk away or throw their gum at you!
check out this forum on chewing gum addiction:
http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=4380
I was surfing for more help and came across this thread about people who are addicted to chewing gum. very interesting from their prospective.